28 September 2012 @ 10:39 pm
❦ the fifth rose  
[HELLO MAYFIELD the day of reckoning has come. meaning you get not one irritated, bossy and rude immortal on your phone lines today, you get two!!]

As most of you know, things are getting rather busy around here. That means there's less and less time for menial tasks and chores.

Because that is the case, we have decided that now is the best time to look for some sort of hired help. After all, I doubt that you people really have anything better to do. [RACHEL PLS at least try to make a good impression.] If you are such a person--and you likely are--and also excel at household chores, we now have a proposition for you.

We'll be holding a short audition at the high school auditorium at noon sharp today for those who are interested. Don't fret about pay, it will be a rate which you certainly won't deserve. [now it's tagteam bad impressions...]

If you're late, please do not waste our time by coming. That will be enough of an indicator that you would do a poor job serving. With that said though, I look forward to any who come to audition. It may be difficult, but do your best to at least be somewhat competent. [what a charming young lady you have the potential to serve right]

Thank you in advance for your consideration, and enjoy the rest of your morning. [no it's too late to fix the rudeness of this phone call now but he apparently doesn't see anything wrong with ending on this note...]

[for those brave souls who actually decide to go see what this thing is all about, they'll find a sign on the outside of the auditorium doors that simple says "auditions here" in neat script. inside the auditorium itself, the stage is well-lit and a table is set up in front of it, where Rachel and Charles are currently sitting with a couple of papers, pencils and what appears to be half of a tea set.

APPROACH WITH CAUTION the judgment begins before you even step on the stage...]
10 June 2012 @ 04:00 pm
❦ the fourth rose  

Whether or not these zombies are due to the work of the town or an individual, I must say it is so terribly uncreative. If I recall correctly, it was nearly around the same time last year where a similar incident happened as well. Really, if you are out to terrify and maim us, do try a bit harder next time. A boring game of repetition is no entertainment at all.

And as terribly bored as I am, I will offer a great kindness in hopes that it will relieve such boredom. Do take note of it as I can assure you such a thing will not happen again. [Kindness only comes once in a million years alright!!] If anyone is interested, I shall be sharing tea at 1648 Albright Lane. It is as good a time as any for a good cup of tea and enjoyable conversation.

Of course, should you be attacked on your way here if you choose to come--well, I suppose that is simply not my problem. [And with that she hangs up. What a lovely young girl, right...]

Action: 1648 Albright Lane

[And true to her word, housemates and guests will be able to find Rachel in the kitchen sipping tea and having a pastry or two. The pot of tea is still hot, and there's a plate of other pastries on the table too. Clearly a zombie invasion is the time to enjoy yourself with tea. u_u]