2 ♕ The Hangover [Phone/Action]

[godaime]

[ A - 849 Goldberg Street ]

[ When the sirens began to ring, the only thing Tsunade could do was wake and dash downstairs. There, she encountered her package. Regains from Christmas. She was hesitant to open them during Christmas, given their lack of marking, but, now, without any clue of what would be inside, she decided it would be best if she could open them. Her first one? A picture of a bunch of paperwork from home. ]

What on Ea-[ BOOM

Within the seconds of Tsunade's statement the house seemingly explodes into paper filled chaos. Stacks and stacks of paperwork begin to torrent around the living room, and the living room door bursts wide open, with paper flying out of there by the forests. If you dare to take a look to see what the hell just happened, you'll get a Tsunade who's sitting down with paper up to her shoulders before her pet pig, Tonton, stark naked and without her expensive pearl necklace, pops out of the paper with a fierce oink! ]

[ B - Phone.  ]

Ah, this is probably the worst hangover I ever had. [ Her voice sounds haggard and raspy. She sounds exhausted and weakened by all accounts. ] I can't even remember the last couple of days. What the hell did I drink....? [ She knows what really happened, but, she wants to synthesize as much information as possible and for that, she has to play dumb ] 

[ C - The Post Office ] 

[ With the realization that the paperwork had her entire life story and biography in it with the mysteriously missing parts filled in with her journal that has a day by day summary of her life, Tsunade realized it was time to go to the post office. On the way there, you see a very, veryold lady walking into the office. If you're in there, you know what happens. Tsunade finally made a trade and is, within a blink of an eye, transformed to her younger state.

If you're waiting outside out of curiosity, Tsunade emerges young and not wrinklyas ever. Her loyal pet pig is by her side.  ] 

Ah, Tonton, now that that's out of the way, let's get going. Oink!

[ D - Anywhere! ] 

[ There is a pig following you. Just a random pig. And no matter how much you try to shake it off, it just won't leave you alone. It'll continue to follow you down many streets, with its nose slammed into the ground like a police canine unit. Yep. She doesn't speak, she doesn't talk, she doesn't do anything but follow. ]

[ E - Olney's Tavern ]

[ Tsunade, with her trusty pet pig in her purse like Paris Hilton and chihuahuas, sits at the bar, wallet ready and eager. ]  All right, bartender, make some magic for me. This damn town took two weeks away from my memory, and, in return, I'd like to forget whatever the hell I've been doing from now until the 27th. One Long Island Iced Tea. By the gallon even, I don't give a damn. 

Comments

[godaime]

Experience is vital no matter what you do. If you're even one eighth as skilled as you claim, then I think Mayfield might be onto something when they define it as a better place to live. [ Pause. ] Or should I say taste?

[ A person in the corner of the bar begins to put on sunglasses.

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. ]

This is going to be the start of a beautiful, beautiful, friendship.

[pinkscarflady]

I quite agree.

[She raises her glass for a toast.]

To new friendships forged from similarly impeccable tastes.

[godaime]

[ She raises her glass and laughs. ]

Indeed. Our tastes really are superb. [ She begins to drink from her delicious Long Island Iced Tea once more before finishing the entire pitcher. ] 'Tender, we need two martinis here pronto!

[pinkscarflady]

[She calls out to the bartender as well.]

And make one of them dry and dirty, please.

[And then turns back to Tsunade.]

So tell me, what did you do before coming to Mayfield. For a living, I mean?

[godaime]

[ Is it time to casually brag? Yes. It is. ]

Well, I lead an entire village. The political, military, social, and economic aspects are all something I keep under my control. This means I do things from planning invasions and assassinations to approving a new pipe system. The paperwork is endless, but I suppose it's for the good my village.

I'm also a battlefield medic. They say there's nothing I can't heal, and nothing I can't properly fight. [ Tl;dr Boss woman in the bar. ] How about yourself?

[pinkscarflady]

How impressive...

I'm afraid I do nothing quite so grand. I'm a scientist by trade. The company I was working for dealt mostly with the fields of ectobiology and the spatial transfer of objects. I also dabble in astronomy.

[godaime]

Ectobiology? I'm afraid I don't know anything about that, but I do know a person that can transfer objects through space. In fact, that's the last thing I was doing before I arrived here was something involving that. [ Yeah. She'll just silently tempt mom with that. ] Astronomy sounds like a wonderful thing to have a secondary focus on. I sort of miss the days when I had the leisure to do so.

[pinkscarflady]

Ectobiology has to do with genetics, frequently in combinations that aren't possible in the same timeline.

[Science is Homestuck is really weird....]

You were working on appearifying objects as well? So your world was possessed of a similar technology?

[godaime]

So, in other words, if you edit someone's hair to be red it wouldn't be red in another timeline? [ Tsunade is able to maintain a vague understand, if not somewhat misguided. ]

Well, a similar technique. Back in our world we have something called ninjutsu. It basically has a bunch of uses, like firing fire balls out of your mouth, or making tangible clones, or healing - which is one of my specialties. One of the techniques is known as the Heavenly Transfer Technique. It transfers an item at the speed of light to another place. Before I arrived, I was going to use the technique to get to the battlefield instantly despite the numerous risks it carries.

[pinkscarflady]

Not exactly, but it can't really be explained without delving into a rather technical lecture on the subject.

Ah, no. I was referring largely to the movement of objects. In regards to people, we have machines called transportalizers. They will move someone instantly to the location of any other transportalizer within range. It's really just a travel convenience. Appearifiers can be used on people, but there is significant risk involved.

[godaime]

I'll have to take you up on that sometime later. I doubt I could stay awake for half of one with all of this liquor. [ Why can't I hold all of this blood alcohol level?! ]

Well, as I said, the technique is used only for items. You transport them at the speed of light to other locations. For some reason, they can withstand traveling light speed. The only other person to be able to teleport himself through it is long dead, though I was being teleported with his son. The human body can't handle being traveled at light speed, so the entire human body begins to slice itself down to the molecular level because of the intense velocity. Since we had no method to actually teleport ourselves there in a timely manner, I decided to test my endurance and see if I could make it through. If I did make it through, then whatever would happen there would be smooth sailing. [ YEP. Significant risks are totally involved. ] We don't have teleporters back home though. I'd give so many things for them though. They'd make life so much easier.

[pinkscarflady]

Transportalizers are convenient, but they do have their drawbacks. For one, the range is limited. And they necessitate a second transportalizer at your destination. Although I do have hope that they can be improved upon with further research.

[godaime]

Well, we don't need another person who knows the transfer technique to receive the item but the person who is transferring it needs to know where to transfer it obviously. However, we can't reverse transfer or return the items without the aid of another person who knows the transfer technique. This is seemingly unable to be improved upon without forming an entirely new jutsu.

[pinkscarflady]

So you have a similar problem then. But that's progress I suppose. Necessity being the proverbial mother of invention.

[godaime]

I'd be worried if there was no room to improve. Progress is a sign that things are going right. Stagnancy isn't anything close to reassuring. [ She takes a sip of yet another drink before Tonton oinks, seemingly in agreement. ]

[pinkscarflady]

Which rather neatly sums up my problem with this place...

[godaime]

My problem with this is place is the people in charge, and the "against everyone's will thing" but I guess that can fold into the people in charge. If we just get rid of them, and allow the people who want to go home to go home, this place really could be a fine and dandy place to live.