9th Fifth - Warm Weather Brings Out The Best In Us

[hisnameisthecaptain]

[Guess what Mayfield? The Captain is drunk, he's had a great morning, and he's naked!

That's right. The alcoholic super hero has gone a bit over board. But still! It gets better!

He may even end up in your house! That's right! Your house!

He's super powered and super naked. You can catch him doing one of the following.]

A)
[He's outside picking a fight with your car/tree/mailbox/dog.

It's a heated argument, he seems to be losing. He is swinging a mostly empty bottle of liquor around.

There's a lot of shouting, but it hasn't gotten violent. Yet.]

B)
[In your kitchen, rummaging around for alcohol or food. He's made a mess of things too.

Your fridge is open, your meats are cooking on the stove with OJ marinade and your milk is spilled all over the floor.]

C)
[In your bathroom, passed out in your shower.

The shower curtain has been torn town and the water is still running on him.

Wait, is that your toothbrush sticking out of his mouth?]

D)
[In your bed. Yes, your bed!

Maybe sprawled out on top of you, or maybe having a naked cuddle. Is he big spoon or small spoon?]

E)
[You got lucky, he never made it inside and he didn't destroy your yard.

Instead he passed out on your lawn, on your driveway or even on your car.]

Comments

[weiss_tank]

[He's silent for a moment, and then walks over to pat the Captain on the shoulder.]

Hey now, don't think that. I'm sure most of them are friends with you for other reasons.

[hisnameisthecaptain]

It's just been nagging at me.

[Didn't help that someone told him that, in a friendly manner while trying to help even.]

Hell, I only ended up in Nextwave because a terrorist group put us together at first.

[weiss_tank]

[That someone needs to be kicked. :<]

I only met Aya because I got picked for an assassin team, so I know what you mean.

[hisnameisthecaptain]

[Wasn't quite her fault, but The Captain is easy to get down.]

Yeah, I wasn't much of a super hero that'd get picked up otherwise.

And here, well, everyone's forced together anyways.

[weiss_tank]

But you know, you make the best friends that way. I mean, some of my friends are people I never woulda spoken to otherwise.

[hisnameisthecaptain]

I guess so. Still, given a second chance, I wonder how many would have avoided me.

[weiss_tank]

Who knows. Cap, underneath all that drunk thing you got going on, you're a nice guy who honestly wants the best for people. You just need to act on that a little bit more.

[hisnameisthecaptain]

Yeah, maybe your right. Though no one takes me seriously around here anymore anyways.

[And so it starts, the plans to bring back his failed attempt at Captain Kerosene.]

[weiss_tank]

[That...does not sound good.]

Of course I'm right! Would I steer you wrong? Anyways, people don't gotta take you seriously for you to start building yourself up again. Start small, like cutting back on the booze.

[hisnameisthecaptain]

I'll start cutting back when this town stops being terrible.

[So... never?]

But, I'll think about it.

Now I just got to find a good way to start over.

[weiss_tank]

Don't think like that. The town'll be easier to cope with when you aren't blitzed out of your head.

Starting over is hard...but I believe in you! You can do this!

[hisnameisthecaptain]

I don't know about that. At least I won't think about or feel half of what hits me.

But, I'll see what I can do.

[weiss_tank]

[FYI Ken is a giant hypocrite. That's half the reason he's the way he is, is from avoiding thinking about all the shit that has gone down in his life.]

Tryin' is all I'm askin' Cap.

[hisnameisthecaptain]

Then I will.

[Hypocrites unite! The Captain lectures people all the time.]

[weiss_tank]

[By our powers combined...]

Good! [He pats the Cap on the shoulder.] Now get some rest so you can sleep that stuff out of your system.

[hisnameisthecaptain]

Sure. Uh, can you just point the way home?

[weiss_tank]

Are you sure you wanna go out there with no pants?

[hisnameisthecaptain]

...

No.

[weiss_tank]

Look, just give me a few minutes and I might be able to rustle something up in your size, ok?

[hisnameisthecaptain]

Yeah, thanks.

[Ken, he is a 6 foot tall super hero.

Look for something stretchy.]

[weiss_tank]

[Which means....one of the Miakis's drones old skirts. Sorry cap, best he could do on such short notice.]

Umm...sorry about the floral pattern.

[hisnameisthecaptain]

Better than the alternative.

[Not even caring at the moment. Waving to Ken after putting it on.]

Thanks for the help.

[weiss_tank]

Way better. And no problem, you know I'm always happy to help a friend out. Now go home and get some rest.

[He's willing to let the cap go now, since he doesn't seem so disastrously sloshed anymore.]

[hisnameisthecaptain]

[The Captain waves, then, and flies!

Which is a mistake when you are wearing a skirt blowing in the wind.]

[weiss_tank]

[He's just going to groan and cover his eyes. And hope that there are no children to see this.]