DEPLOYMENT 15: Be the Other Walking Nuke

[walking_nuke]

[(Note: All tagbacks will be from walking_nukebird!)]
[ACTION - A (847 Goldberg Street, Early Morning, HOUSEMATES)]

[The first thing Balin notices as he starts to wake up is that he's in some kind of cubicle, swaddled in big, fuzzy blankets. He grumbles, thinking that yet again Mayfield has kidnapped him in his sleep in preparation for its latest twisted game.]

[... Until he realizes that his grumble sounds rather bird-like.]

[And his field of vision is ... considerably wider than normal.]

[He raises up, and cranes his head around to discover that ... he's covered in feathers. Black, iridescent feathers—]

AWK!

[Were he still in his human body, Balin might have lept out of bed and reached for his sidearm ... but he's no longer Balin Wilbur. He's now Utsuho Reiuji—and considering this is the man-eating town-burning youkai he'd fought with not long ago, he's taking this predicament far worse than he might have if he were swapped with someone else.]

[So instead, the hell raven that has been spending most of the past few weeks sleeping peacefully in that box, courtesy of Virginia, is now having a night fright. It squawks in distress, its wings flap haphazardly as it tries to escape the box, crashing into one thing or another. The real Utsuho has had a lot of practice shifting between her raven and humanoid youkai forms, so much so that it doesn't require much thought to trigger the switch. Balin's panicky thoughts of wondering what happened to his human body are enough to trigger the transformation—which, for someone who never wanted to be a Polymorphing Spy, is a highly uncomfortable and horrifying sensation.]

[By the end of it, "Utsuho" flops onto the bedroom floor chest-first. Coming to "her" senses after a few seconds, "Utsuho" pushes "herself" up, but "her" now much larger wings are all ruffled and splayed everywhere, and there's a lot of "her" shorter feathers floating about in the air.]

What—WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!

[That yell is loud enough to be heard throughout the house, easily.]

[ACTION - B (Anywhere in Mayfield, Morning/Afternoon, OPEN TO ALL)]

[Utsuho spends a lot of her time flying around in the air, but today she apparently is preferring to walk around town. She seems a bit clumsy and cautious, though—Balin is having difficulty adjusting to a woman's bone structure and center of gravity. Especially since this particular woman isn't even human. Aaand also much taller than he is.]

[Sometimes you might see "Utsuho" looking down at "her" chest and muttering or even angrily talking out loud. Like "she's" arguing with someone.]

[ACTION - C (Downtown Mayfield, Afternoon, OPEN TO ALL)]

"Go on, you mangy mutt! Get out of here! Shoo! Shoo!"

Hey! I'm not a mutt! What's the big idea—

["Utsuho" just tried to enter a store and got pushed out by a drone armed with a broom. With one last shove, "she" stumbles out the door. As the drone slams the door shut, "Utsuho" turns around to look back at the store with "her" hands on "her" hips.]

—Dammit, every store is doing this to me!

[Ah, the joys of finding out Mayfield considers you a "pet."]

[ACTION - D (John Doe Park, Afternoon/Evening, OPEN TO ALL)]

["Utsuho" is currently trying to figure out how to fly. Flight is an ubiquitous ability among Gensokyo's denizens, even if they have no biological ability to do so—but Balin doesn't know that, and so he assumes the only way he can fly as Utsuho is through wing power alone. In fairness, wingspan is one of several things in which Utsuho's body is well-endowed.]

[Flying with wings is a learned skill, though, even for birds—and having never been a bird before, Balin is clumsily trying to imitate what he's seen the real Utsuho and other, normal birds do with their wings. Instead, "Utsuho" ends up flailing "her" wings much like a Killdeer faking a broken wing. Sometimes "she's" lucky with a jump and gets airborne for a few seconds, "her" wings fluttering spastically before "she" falls back down. And "she's" not too graceful about that, either.]

[ACTION - E (Makeout Point, Evening, OPEN TO ALL)]

[Well, if he's going to be stuck inside the hell raven's body for a while, there's one thing Balin can take advantage of for the time being.]

[Up at Makeout Point, "Utsuho" is armed with "her" control rod, and judging from the light show and miniature suns over there, "she's" practicing with "her" powers. Yet unlike her murderous rampage back in March, "she" seems to be taking to aim up at the sky, away from Mayfield. "She's" even trying to avoid setting any trees on fire.]

[But it doesn't look like "she" has a good handle on it, because there are stray fireballs every once in a while.]

Comments

[idkmybfforin]

[Okuu seems...fairly unperturbed, actually.]

Someone's usually eaten it by now.

[Though trying to waggle it around does not have the same effect as it did previously; the arm is rather unappealingly rocklike.]

...is this a fossil now?

[walking_nukebird]

[Until this moment, Balin had no idea how painful it is to watch oneself acting like a derp.]

No, it's frozen! And whaddya mean, someone usually eats it?

[YEAH, SAME FACIAL EXPRESSION RIGHT BACK AT YOU, "BALIN."]

[idkmybfforin]

[HELL IS HER NATURAL HABITAT YOU'LL HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS "BELOW 50 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT" THING.]

That! When this happens at home, someone runs off with the arm or leg or wing or whatever before you can go get it. Or it falls into the fires and gets eaten that way.

[...yeah this ecosystem is weird.]

[walking_nukebird]

["Someone." "Utsuho" thinks back to a conversation "she" had with Satori last year.]

You mean like ... Other hell ravens? And kasha ... ses?

["She" has no idea what a kasha is, even now.]

[idkmybfforin]

Orin wouldn't, but I bet everyone else would.

[So trusting of her neighbors, this one.]

Especially when they stopped sending so many humans to the fires. That was the worst! Until everyone figured out the ranks again.

[walking_nukebird]

[And now comes another Utsuho-like moment, as "Utsuho" tilts her head and blinks.]

Orin ... that's your cat friend, right?

[Although "she" doesn't really plan to comment about the lack of humans. "Utsuho" understands the implications, having seen the real Utsuho devour those cannibals back during Thanksgiving.]

[idkmybfforin]

[Man, it's hell. People get sent down there. THE CONCLUSIONS ARE EASY TO DRAW.]

Yes, she i--what did you just do?

[walking_nukebird]

["Utsuho" blinks, and looks confused.]

What do you mean, "what did I just do?"

[idkmybfforin]

[Rather than answering, Utsuho-as-Balin reached out and up, put a hand on Utsuho's forehead, and straightened it out of its quirked over posture.]

That.

[walking_nukebird]

["Utsuho" looks genuinely stunned while "Balin" fixes her headtilt.]

I—I dunno? I guess ... it just happened?

["Utsuho" refolds the wings on her back again.]

It's—really weird suddenly being in somebody else's body, especially when they're not the same gender and species as you.

[idkmybfforin]

[See this face, Balin? It says "DUH". In big unspoken letters.]

[walking_nukebird]

... Well, yeah, I guess you'd know.

[idkmybfforin]

You didn't preen my feathers, did you?

[walking_nukebird]

Preen them—? Er ...

["Utsuho" glances back behind "her," stretching a wing out so "she" can look at its feathers.]

No, I didn't.

[idkmybfforin]

No stop you're doing it all wrong!

[And not!Balin attempts to grab at that wing.

...the excess arm has since been dropped on the floor, with the impact breaking off one of its fingers.]

[walking_nukebird]

["Utsuho" barely registers "her" former arm falling and shattering. "She's" too busy taking uneasy steps back away from "Balin," but offers no real resistance to having "her" outstretched wing getting grabbed.]

What—h—hey! Stop! That hurts!

[The wing "Balin's" holding on to twitches and flops in "his" grip.]

This conversation is hideous out of context

[idkmybfforin]

Well stop squirming so much, then!

[TRYING NOT TO PULL OUT THE PRIMARY FEATHERS that shit hurts like fuck man. Utsuho knows this from experience!]

Hahaha XD

[walking_nukebird]

What did I even do?! I just spread the wing out to look at it!

["Utsuho's" wing stops twitching about at least, only trembling every now and then, sort of like a human keeping their arm outstretched for too long.]

[idkmybfforin]

Look, the feathers are all out of order!

[Man you're never going to learn how to fly this way.

As the wing stops twitching, not!Balin is already busy trying to set all the feathers so that they lay correctly in a nice unbroken and actually comfortable surface.]

[walking_nukebird]

Hey, don't get mad at me! I've only been a bird ... woman ... youkai for, what, half a day now?!

[Speaking of which, it sure didn't take long for the Yatagarasu to recover from the gunshot. The eye is looking over at "Balin" now. "Utsuho" notices, glaring as "she" looks down and pokes herself in the boobs again.]

Yeah, get a good look, divine D-cups. That's my real body right there.

[idkmybfforin]

What are you even talking to?

[walking_nukebird]

[... What.]

What do you mean, what I'm even talking to? Don't you know?

[idkmybfforin]

[Not!Balin bristles.]

What's a dee cup?

[walking_nukebird]

Oh—oh.

["Utsuho" points down at "her" breasts.]

These. Your breasts. D-cup is a bra size.

[idkmybfforin]

[Dude. She doesn't wear one. YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS ALREADY.]