DEPLOYMENT 15: Be the Other Walking Nuke

[walking_nuke]

[(Note: All tagbacks will be from walking_nukebird!)]
[ACTION - A (847 Goldberg Street, Early Morning, HOUSEMATES)]

[The first thing Balin notices as he starts to wake up is that he's in some kind of cubicle, swaddled in big, fuzzy blankets. He grumbles, thinking that yet again Mayfield has kidnapped him in his sleep in preparation for its latest twisted game.]

[... Until he realizes that his grumble sounds rather bird-like.]

[And his field of vision is ... considerably wider than normal.]

[He raises up, and cranes his head around to discover that ... he's covered in feathers. Black, iridescent feathers—]

AWK!

[Were he still in his human body, Balin might have lept out of bed and reached for his sidearm ... but he's no longer Balin Wilbur. He's now Utsuho Reiuji—and considering this is the man-eating town-burning youkai he'd fought with not long ago, he's taking this predicament far worse than he might have if he were swapped with someone else.]

[So instead, the hell raven that has been spending most of the past few weeks sleeping peacefully in that box, courtesy of Virginia, is now having a night fright. It squawks in distress, its wings flap haphazardly as it tries to escape the box, crashing into one thing or another. The real Utsuho has had a lot of practice shifting between her raven and humanoid youkai forms, so much so that it doesn't require much thought to trigger the switch. Balin's panicky thoughts of wondering what happened to his human body are enough to trigger the transformation—which, for someone who never wanted to be a Polymorphing Spy, is a highly uncomfortable and horrifying sensation.]

[By the end of it, "Utsuho" flops onto the bedroom floor chest-first. Coming to "her" senses after a few seconds, "Utsuho" pushes "herself" up, but "her" now much larger wings are all ruffled and splayed everywhere, and there's a lot of "her" shorter feathers floating about in the air.]

What—WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!

[That yell is loud enough to be heard throughout the house, easily.]

[ACTION - B (Anywhere in Mayfield, Morning/Afternoon, OPEN TO ALL)]

[Utsuho spends a lot of her time flying around in the air, but today she apparently is preferring to walk around town. She seems a bit clumsy and cautious, though—Balin is having difficulty adjusting to a woman's bone structure and center of gravity. Especially since this particular woman isn't even human. Aaand also much taller than he is.]

[Sometimes you might see "Utsuho" looking down at "her" chest and muttering or even angrily talking out loud. Like "she's" arguing with someone.]

[ACTION - C (Downtown Mayfield, Afternoon, OPEN TO ALL)]

"Go on, you mangy mutt! Get out of here! Shoo! Shoo!"

Hey! I'm not a mutt! What's the big idea—

["Utsuho" just tried to enter a store and got pushed out by a drone armed with a broom. With one last shove, "she" stumbles out the door. As the drone slams the door shut, "Utsuho" turns around to look back at the store with "her" hands on "her" hips.]

—Dammit, every store is doing this to me!

[Ah, the joys of finding out Mayfield considers you a "pet."]

[ACTION - D (John Doe Park, Afternoon/Evening, OPEN TO ALL)]

["Utsuho" is currently trying to figure out how to fly. Flight is an ubiquitous ability among Gensokyo's denizens, even if they have no biological ability to do so—but Balin doesn't know that, and so he assumes the only way he can fly as Utsuho is through wing power alone. In fairness, wingspan is one of several things in which Utsuho's body is well-endowed.]

[Flying with wings is a learned skill, though, even for birds—and having never been a bird before, Balin is clumsily trying to imitate what he's seen the real Utsuho and other, normal birds do with their wings. Instead, "Utsuho" ends up flailing "her" wings much like a Killdeer faking a broken wing. Sometimes "she's" lucky with a jump and gets airborne for a few seconds, "her" wings fluttering spastically before "she" falls back down. And "she's" not too graceful about that, either.]

[ACTION - E (Makeout Point, Evening, OPEN TO ALL)]

[Well, if he's going to be stuck inside the hell raven's body for a while, there's one thing Balin can take advantage of for the time being.]

[Up at Makeout Point, "Utsuho" is armed with "her" control rod, and judging from the light show and miniature suns over there, "she's" practicing with "her" powers. Yet unlike her murderous rampage back in March, "she" seems to be taking to aim up at the sky, away from Mayfield. "She's" even trying to avoid setting any trees on fire.]

[But it doesn't look like "she" has a good handle on it, because there are stray fireballs every once in a while.]

Comments

[walking_nukebird]

Because youkai regenerate really fucking fast?

["Utsuho" flaps "her" wings once. Slightly annoyed, maybe!]

[false_administrator]

—but I can't regenerate at all. This isn't fair! [ Sighing. ]

Wait. You're a youkai?

[walking_nukebird]

["Utsuho" puts a hand to "her" stomach.]

This body is. She's a hell raven. In my normal body I'm just a human.

[false_administrator]

[ Yoshika just stares on ahead for a long time. ]

...oh.

[ Pointing again. ] Then you need to be careful with that power because you could end up hurting people, too!

[ Pointing behind, back the way she came. ] And I'm going to leave to make sure nothing happens to this body, either!

[walking_nukebird]

I don't blame you. I'm ... um, not exactly alone in here.

[A beat. Curiosity gets the best of "Utsuho."]

Do you know the woman you swappwed bodies with?

[false_administrator]

[ Looking around. ] Is there someone else here? [ Distracted. One question at a time!]

/drives on by!

[idkmybfforin]

[It happens again--Balin!Utsuho's mouth still running when the sentence should have reached a logical conclusion. Utsuho's voice has changed drastically, becoming a robotic-sounding, genderless version of itself.]

OF COURSE NOT.

[walking_nukebird]

[Which causes "Utsuho" to squawk in surprise.]

[And in "her" haste to cover "her" mouth, "she" winds up bonking "herself" in the face with "her" control rod.]

[And the surprise from that causes "Utsuho" to stumble backward and fall on "her" butt, "her" wings flapping the whole way down.]

[false_administrator]

[ Yoshika just watches all that happening. ] Are you okaaay?

[walking_nukebird]

I—I'm fine ... Fuckin' thing ...

["Utsuho" rubs "her" nose with "her" free hand while one of "her" wings flaps and twitches.]

You heard it, didn't you?

[false_administrator]

Um, I thiiink so? But I didn't see who it was.

[walking_nukebird]

["Utsuho" points to the eye in "her" chest.]

It's this thing. A Yatagarasu. Or whatever's left of what it, I don't know.

[false_administrator]

I don't know what that means, but eyes can't talk! [ Seriously, that would be creepier than being of the living dead.

And she would know! ]

[walking_nukebird]

This one can. It talks in my head, and it's been hijacking my mouth all day.

[false_administrator]

Then how did I hear it? That doesn't make sense!

[walking_nukebird]

Because it hijacked my mouth!

[false_administrator]

HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK!?

[walking_nukebird]

How should I know?! Do I look like a xenobiologist to you? All I know is that it can!

[false_administrator]

I don't know what that means!

I don't know what anything means!

[ If this was her body, she might have torn at her hair by now. As it stands, she grips the sword tightly and turns. ] I'm going home! This is stupid!

[walking_nukebird]

Alright then, fine!

["Utsuho" climbs back up to her feet, "her" wings all fluffled out.]