6 ♊ There is some irony here, we're sure of it

[polariity]

A. Action. 724 Anderson.



[Upon awakening, the Psiioniic notices something. Firstly, there is not a body sans legs cuddling up to him. He kind of misses that, you know. Secondly, while the person who that other body belongs to does have quite a bit of hair, it is not nearly as much as he is feeling all around him right now.]

[And then he realizes who actually has that much impossible hair and promptly wakes up so he can flip his shit.]

[And that, housemate, is why a high pitched voice is cursing up a storm enough to make sailors blush. Psii is currently confused and in an empress' body that has horns too big and too much hair. Kind of panicking right now, not gonna lie. His enormously long horns are knocking into everything, and he's kind of gotten himself tangled up in all that hair.]

B. Phone.



[Pick up the phone, Mayfield residents, and you may hear the voice of one Her Imperious Condescension...]

Wow, and right when I thought you couldn't get more fucked up, Mayfield.

[...Except does she usually swear this much? The Psiioniic is not a happy camper.]

What kind of messed up joke is this? First you did that- that thing with my best friend and now you're shoving me into THIS body? What bullshit are you smok...ing...

[He trails off.]

[There's a long moment of silence.]

[A giggle. An excited giggle. Then, whispered very quietly-]

Messed. Is. This. First. Best. Shoving. Bullshit. Okay, you know what, never mind that. Mayfield, I need all the 'S' words and tongue twisters you can give me.

Now. Thanks.

C. Action, midmorning. En Route to 431 Peepers



[After the initial thrill of finally being freed of a lisp, Psiidence has realized that he should probably go check on his own house and Milla, just to see if she's been bodyswapped too... and also, yeah, to see if that Batterwitch is messing up his body.]

[There's just one problem.]

[And that problem keeps getting trapped around lightpoles, fire hydrants, trees, small animals, and children.]

[Yeah, Psiidence hasn't exactly mastered the art of hair yet. So feel free to come across the poor guy, trying to untangle his hair yet again... usually by going at it with a saw he managed to somehow find.]

[Yep. Leaving behind a trail of massive chunks of hair until he gets to Milla's house, no big deal.]

D. Action. All around Mayfield.



[Having a bit of trouble? You might suddenly find a tall alien woman with a a cute bob haircut, a pretty dress, and a bright smile on her face trying to help you.]

[OR]

[Are you a teenager or a child? Do you look like a teenager or a child? Then you may find that very same tall gray alien woman waving you over!] Hey! Excuse me for a second, come here!

Comments

C.

[darrrling]

[ Milla is busy serving up more pancakes to Signless (Dualscar) when what appears to be the Condesce hurries in. She tenses, drawing herself up defensively. ]

What are you here for? If it's Psii, you can't have him. I thought that should be clear by now.

Re: C.

[suffererdualsign]

[He's disgusted at himself for adjusting so nicely to the mutant's life.

Then, as Condesce enters, he's suddenly choking on pancakes and trying to hide under the table at the same time.]

1/2

[redfii2hbluefii2h]

[The look he sends Milla is positively exasperated.]

Milla, I'm not-

[Wait. Wait, hold the fucking phone here. He talked to Signless on the phone. He knows Signless is stuck in the douchefin's body. So who the hell is eating pancakes in his and Milla's kitchen?]

...Dualscar, get out from underneath the table. I'm getting secondhand embarrassment from this.

[redfii2hbluefii2h]

[A pause.]

[Giggle.]

[His fins flare out- and wow fins are still a trippy kind of thing to have! He looks like an excited betta fish.]

Embarrassment.

B

[brickwalltobrickhouse]

Say this sharply, say this sweetly;
Say this shortly, say this softly;
Say this sixteen times in succession.

How's that?

[redfii2hbluefii2h]

I love you, let's get married.

[Deep breath, and he practically sings like a bird. Actually almost really singing, uh, did you know that he seahag's voice actually isn't that bad when it's not her using it?]

Say this sharply, say this sweetly;
Say this shortly, say this softly;
Say this sixteen times in succession!

[Sorry, Klaus, but Psii really will say that sixteen times in succession, too.]

[brickwalltobrickhouse]

I regret to inform you that I already have a wife. Though given her propensity toward collecting men...

[OH RIGHT HE SOUNDS LIKE A LADY RIGHT NOW THAT WAS. PROBABLY. KIND OF CONFUSING. HAHAHA-- Psii. Psii sweetie. Are you singing. Are you singing the same verse sixteen times. Wow. Cutie.]

Impressive. Try this:

Scads of squids squirm across the stormy sky.
Striking lightning, shrieking spiking, spry
Silhouettes that terrify.

[...Look, when your country has gigantic flying squid big enough to take on Castle Wulfenbach as a regular sky pest, you get poems about them. Shoosh. And it's appropriate.]

D

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

[Her life is hard. Her life is hard and no one understands and she made out with people and.

Her life is hard.

Either way she is warily eying every passerby because WHO KNOWS WHAT MAYFIELD IS DOING--wait.

What the fuck]

...Her Imperial Condescension? [Did Milla finally take the scissors to that weave?]

[redfii2hbluefii2h]

[Psii is currently in the middling from unwinding his hair from around a fire hydrant. It is taxing work and he is debating getting the saw again. How much has he chopped off by now!? Why is there still enough to get tangled up in shit!?]

[But then he hears a familiar voice and startles a bit, staring over with wide tyrian purple eyes.]

Dii? Wait-

[A shake of his head and a suspicious eye narrow.]

Are you really Dii?

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

...I'm really Dii--um. Psii?

[...Wait Psii is suddenly the Condesce isn't he. Disciple's confusion will know no bounds. None. A part of her wonders if that means Condesce is stuck in Psii's body. And that image is just a little too weird to contemplate.]

This day cannot get any weirder, it really can't.

A; 1/2

[signofthebrines]

[Lucky for Psii Signless's panic attack upon waking up as a seadweller has passed by the time he picks up the phone. Once he saw the scars, realized he could breathe without feeling like he was going to die and his droned family wasn't bleeding from every orifice just by being around him he became sufficiently calmer.

He almost wants to hang up when he hears her voice on the other line, he needs to call Di and Psii and find out if something similar has happened to them-

Then he hears the giggle and the enthusiasm over being able to pronounce the 's' sound and all becomes clear.]

A; 2/2

[signofthebrines]

Psii, you can pronounce things now!

[This is probably the first time Orphaner Dualscar (or at least his body) has ever sounded giddy.]

B

[drank_the_milk]

She sells seashells by the seashore!

[redfii2hbluefii2h]

She sells seashells by the seashore! She sells seashells by the seashore!

This is so great!

AFTER THE OTHER THREAD'S SHENANIGANS

[darrrling]

[ Milla bathes the uneven ends of Psii's hacked-off hair, shampooing it gently. ]

There we are. So, any ideas how you want it to look, baby?

[redfii2hbluefii2h]

[Psii squirms a bit awkwardly in his seat.]

I just know I want it out of the way. So... short, I guess?

I don't really know. [A snort.] I've kept my hair short for as long as I can...

D: Action (WHAT AM I DOING ohwell :U)

[windows_hyliaedition]

[[Maybe this will give me a clear enough head to properly go over my revised Nepeta app. :U -self-conscious mun is self-conscious-]]

Fi indeed appears to be a young teen, and while her social skills are certainly questionable if not robotic, she's at least been given the wonderful advice to shake hands with anyone she meets for the first time.

Well okay then, she's coming over and holding out a hand. With that same blank expression.

Uh. "Hello." UH.

/pats gently 0u0

[redfii2hbluefii2h]

Sssshhh Fi, just go along with it. Psii is feeling wonderful today. He's gotten to lop off the Condesce's monstrous hair, made a fool out of Dualscar, talked with Signless, was able to say his name, went on an outting with his wifesprit, and has a lovely hairdo combined with a pretty dress.

It's a good day, okay?

Don't mind him if he takes that hand and shakes it even as he leans in to press a kiss to Fi's forehead. "I feel great, want an ice cream float or one of those things?" Hey, if he's stuck in the Condesce's body, then he may as well get back at her in the most passive aggressive way ever by being super nice to everyone.

...What.

...Don't tell him how to live his life.

b.) also sdkhsdkh wow matching usernames we are good

[onefiishtwofiish]

[Meanwhile, Feferi is in Sollux's body. It still feels weird to not have her entire range of vision, and be without gills and fins. How do people go around breathing like this? Not to mention the fact that there is a distinct lack of hair to twirl around her fingers. And -- oh god that sure is a saw cutting off big chunks of hair.

She sure is going to laugh her ass off. Yep.]

oh whups 8U

[redfii2hbluefii2h]

[Fuck hair, man, or at least fuck this much of it. Psiidence finishes with a twirl of the saw. However, when he hears that familiar laughter, he finds himself grinning out of habit and shrugging to 'his' son.]

You know you'd do the same if you were me.

[the_wrong_dr_spengler]

[ There's a weird chuckle on the other end of the line, like it stated as a giggle, and morphed to a chuckle with an unfamiliar voice. ]

Wait, is that The Psionic?

[redfii2hbluefii2h]

Yes, this is the Psiioniic.

[More giggling. Oh my god he can say his own name, he can say so many 's' words in a row without tripping, this is amazing!]

431 Peepers SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL OF THAT

[psiicotiic]

[Its taken her quite a long time to wake up -- perhaps because of the pain she feels somewhere behind her eyes. That she can't quite get rid of. The truth is that she's been awake for a few minutes now and simply hasn't bothered to sit up or move, hoping that the headache will pass. However, its when she hears all the rustling in an attempt to vacate the house that causes her eyes to open.

She's dimly aware that she feels strangely...warm. Not just physically, but all through her body, there's a strange buzz that she's not quite used to having. The Condesce moves to sit up slowly--

And ends up bolting upward anyway. Where did all the weight on her head--

...go.

Its gone. Her hair, her horns, everything is gone. She immediately panics, and the headache gets worse when she spots the image of...well, herself, hanging over her.]

What--

[psiicotiic]

[She almost reaches out to touch the figure before she sees that her hand is no longer gray and slim with wicked talons, but white and meaty. She knows that hand.

Because its Psiioniic's.

The Condesce immediately starts screaming bloody murder when fury and anger take the reins of her mind, though it sounds much less horrifying in the body of a male human. That doesn't do anything to change the fact that she's suddenly awash in blue and red as the psionics she suddenly possesses begin to spiral out of control with her emotion.]

D

[finallyhasthumbs]

[Even if he's wondering where all that hair went, he recognizes Queen Bitch Troll when he sees her. And having her wave him over like that (because he looks like some adorable little youkai girl) is downright Scratch-level creepy.]

Oh hell no.

[Said in Dave's voice, thanks to Kyouko's echo powers]