6 ♊ There is some irony here, we're sure of it

[polariity]

A. Action. 724 Anderson.



[Upon awakening, the Psiioniic notices something. Firstly, there is not a body sans legs cuddling up to him. He kind of misses that, you know. Secondly, while the person who that other body belongs to does have quite a bit of hair, it is not nearly as much as he is feeling all around him right now.]

[And then he realizes who actually has that much impossible hair and promptly wakes up so he can flip his shit.]

[And that, housemate, is why a high pitched voice is cursing up a storm enough to make sailors blush. Psii is currently confused and in an empress' body that has horns too big and too much hair. Kind of panicking right now, not gonna lie. His enormously long horns are knocking into everything, and he's kind of gotten himself tangled up in all that hair.]

B. Phone.



[Pick up the phone, Mayfield residents, and you may hear the voice of one Her Imperious Condescension...]

Wow, and right when I thought you couldn't get more fucked up, Mayfield.

[...Except does she usually swear this much? The Psiioniic is not a happy camper.]

What kind of messed up joke is this? First you did that- that thing with my best friend and now you're shoving me into THIS body? What bullshit are you smok...ing...

[He trails off.]

[There's a long moment of silence.]

[A giggle. An excited giggle. Then, whispered very quietly-]

Messed. Is. This. First. Best. Shoving. Bullshit. Okay, you know what, never mind that. Mayfield, I need all the 'S' words and tongue twisters you can give me.

Now. Thanks.

C. Action, midmorning. En Route to 431 Peepers



[After the initial thrill of finally being freed of a lisp, Psiidence has realized that he should probably go check on his own house and Milla, just to see if she's been bodyswapped too... and also, yeah, to see if that Batterwitch is messing up his body.]

[There's just one problem.]

[And that problem keeps getting trapped around lightpoles, fire hydrants, trees, small animals, and children.]

[Yeah, Psiidence hasn't exactly mastered the art of hair yet. So feel free to come across the poor guy, trying to untangle his hair yet again... usually by going at it with a saw he managed to somehow find.]

[Yep. Leaving behind a trail of massive chunks of hair until he gets to Milla's house, no big deal.]

D. Action. All around Mayfield.



[Having a bit of trouble? You might suddenly find a tall alien woman with a a cute bob haircut, a pretty dress, and a bright smile on her face trying to help you.]

[OR]

[Are you a teenager or a child? Do you look like a teenager or a child? Then you may find that very same tall gray alien woman waving you over!] Hey! Excuse me for a second, come here!

Comments

B

[brickwalltobrickhouse]

Say this sharply, say this sweetly;
Say this shortly, say this softly;
Say this sixteen times in succession.

How's that?

[redfii2hbluefii2h]

I love you, let's get married.

[Deep breath, and he practically sings like a bird. Actually almost really singing, uh, did you know that he seahag's voice actually isn't that bad when it's not her using it?]

Say this sharply, say this sweetly;
Say this shortly, say this softly;
Say this sixteen times in succession!

[Sorry, Klaus, but Psii really will say that sixteen times in succession, too.]

[brickwalltobrickhouse]

I regret to inform you that I already have a wife. Though given her propensity toward collecting men...

[OH RIGHT HE SOUNDS LIKE A LADY RIGHT NOW THAT WAS. PROBABLY. KIND OF CONFUSING. HAHAHA-- Psii. Psii sweetie. Are you singing. Are you singing the same verse sixteen times. Wow. Cutie.]

Impressive. Try this:

Scads of squids squirm across the stormy sky.
Striking lightning, shrieking spiking, spry
Silhouettes that terrify.

[...Look, when your country has gigantic flying squid big enough to take on Castle Wulfenbach as a regular sky pest, you get poems about them. Shoosh. And it's appropriate.]

[redfii2hbluefii2h]

I hear two is a pretty good number...

[What, it is? Dude, a race that has no concept of human sexuality. WHATEVA.]

[Also no seriously he will marry you, Klaus, more tongue twisters? Case of the vapors over here.]

Scads of squids squirm across the stormy sky.
Striking lightning, shrieking spiking, spry
Silhouettes that terrify.

Eheheheheh. [More a giggle than a snicker but whatever.] You have no idea how fitting that one is.

[brickwalltobrickhouse]

Two.

[He snorts.]

Try more like three. Possibly four or five by now; she's likely been busy in my absence.

[Twenty years, you know. An Amazonian warrior queen gets lonely.]

Fitting? How so?

[redfii2hbluefii2h]

I meant for you.

[Hear the eyebrow waggle? But no for real.]

That's pretty impressive for a human romance.

And- eheheheheh- it's fitting because I'm in the body of a seadweller, and one who has this giant tentacled monstrosity as her personal guardian. Slimy little squids? I think I found her one true love.

[brickwalltobrickhouse]

They are for me, after a fashion. That is how a harem works.

Ah-- seadweller. Of course a troll wouldn't quite understand the concept of a harem.

[...Oh no is he going to have to explain oh my god

oh

no]

And I wouldn't call them little. The one I am familiar with are twenty to a hundred feet long, if not larger.

[Of course, next to Certain Horrorterrors, that's teeny weeny.]

[redfii2hbluefii2h]

No, we understand it, it's just not.. normal.

We do the different romances, you know, the quadrants, so it's already a harem kind of. But if you're doing it like animals do it, well, it's not the usual.

[Gosh, Klaus, don't be so shy about sex!]

[Also YOU KNOW YOU'RE ALTERNIAN WHEN-]

Wow, just that much? You guys have it lucky.

[That's what comes out of your mouth when confronted with the idea of possibly one hundred feet long squids.]

[brickwalltobrickhouse]

It isn't considered normal where I come from, either. Monogamy is the norm. The people of Skifander merely think that norms are for the boring.

[I mean, the less clothing you're wearing, the more decent you're considered. It's a pretty... special place.

AND HE'S NOT SHY HE JUST

EXPLAINING ROMANCE IS

HARD

it's hard and no one understands]

'Just'? I shudder to think of what that implies about your cephalopods.

[redfii2hbluefii2h]

Sounds like a fun group.

[No really sign him up]

It implies everything in the sea is a hellbeast to be avoided, so to hell with that noise.

[brickwalltobrickhouse]

Ah. Our overlarge squid inhabit the skies, as the rhyme implied. The sea... the less said about the sea the better.

[And not just because thrice-damned England is down there.]

[redfii2hbluefii2h]

If water wasn't something I needed to live, I'd wonder why we even have it.

[Sad sigh.]

Well, what can you do?