6 ♊ There is some irony here, we're sure of it

[polariity]

A. Action. 724 Anderson.



[Upon awakening, the Psiioniic notices something. Firstly, there is not a body sans legs cuddling up to him. He kind of misses that, you know. Secondly, while the person who that other body belongs to does have quite a bit of hair, it is not nearly as much as he is feeling all around him right now.]

[And then he realizes who actually has that much impossible hair and promptly wakes up so he can flip his shit.]

[And that, housemate, is why a high pitched voice is cursing up a storm enough to make sailors blush. Psii is currently confused and in an empress' body that has horns too big and too much hair. Kind of panicking right now, not gonna lie. His enormously long horns are knocking into everything, and he's kind of gotten himself tangled up in all that hair.]

B. Phone.



[Pick up the phone, Mayfield residents, and you may hear the voice of one Her Imperious Condescension...]

Wow, and right when I thought you couldn't get more fucked up, Mayfield.

[...Except does she usually swear this much? The Psiioniic is not a happy camper.]

What kind of messed up joke is this? First you did that- that thing with my best friend and now you're shoving me into THIS body? What bullshit are you smok...ing...

[He trails off.]

[There's a long moment of silence.]

[A giggle. An excited giggle. Then, whispered very quietly-]

Messed. Is. This. First. Best. Shoving. Bullshit. Okay, you know what, never mind that. Mayfield, I need all the 'S' words and tongue twisters you can give me.

Now. Thanks.

C. Action, midmorning. En Route to 431 Peepers



[After the initial thrill of finally being freed of a lisp, Psiidence has realized that he should probably go check on his own house and Milla, just to see if she's been bodyswapped too... and also, yeah, to see if that Batterwitch is messing up his body.]

[There's just one problem.]

[And that problem keeps getting trapped around lightpoles, fire hydrants, trees, small animals, and children.]

[Yeah, Psiidence hasn't exactly mastered the art of hair yet. So feel free to come across the poor guy, trying to untangle his hair yet again... usually by going at it with a saw he managed to somehow find.]

[Yep. Leaving behind a trail of massive chunks of hair until he gets to Milla's house, no big deal.]

D. Action. All around Mayfield.



[Having a bit of trouble? You might suddenly find a tall alien woman with a a cute bob haircut, a pretty dress, and a bright smile on her face trying to help you.]

[OR]

[Are you a teenager or a child? Do you look like a teenager or a child? Then you may find that very same tall gray alien woman waving you over!] Hey! Excuse me for a second, come here!

Comments

[suffererdualsign]

[No. He's not getting out. Wait. Yes he is because that voice could lead him through fire.]

Forgive me!

[Yup, he just blurted that out.]

[redfii2hbluefii2h]

[It is so hard not to laugh. So, so hard. Psii waves a hand in the seadweller stuck in his best friend's body's direction.]

Consider yourself forgiven.

[Look at that. No lisp! No lisp! He manages to contain himself this time.]

I'm not here for "Psii", so don't worry, Milla. [He can say his name. Does anyone get this? He can say his own fucking title. Praise alien space jesus.] Can I just sit down for breakfast? I promise I'll be good.

[Psii. No. Psii no stop waggling your eyebrows at Milla this is getting silly. Water you doing.]

[darrrling]

[ Waaaaiiiiit a second. The way those eyebrows are waggling- ]

Psii?

[suffererdualsign]

[Now all the colour is leaving his face as he scuffs his feet.

Wait, what. Psii? ...No.

He doesn't dare speak up, in case he's wrong. But he stares at the Condesce with big, red, confused eyes.]

[redfii2hbluefii2h]

[JUST GONNA SWAGGER ON OVER TO A FRUIT BALL AND SNATCH UP AN ORANGE TRIUMPHANTLY. Don't ask him how he can walk in heels so well.]

Guess who's feeling like a supernova, Milla.

[Just gonna flop in this chair and strrrrrretch.]

Guess.

[darrrling]

You are very silly, darling. You certainly are enjoying your "s"es, aren't you?

[ It's so strange, with him in the Condesce's body - but she leans down to kiss his forehead fondly. Then she gets him a plate of pancakes for himself, too. ]

There you are. Try not to bicker at the table, boys.

[suffererdualsign]

You aren't..

You aren't you are you?

[He edges a little closer.]

[redfii2hbluefii2h]

[He leans into that forehead kiss appreciatively.]

I will make no such promises. [Just gonna stare decorating his pancakes with his orange now, kthx. Have a leer up at you, Dualscar.]

Now, that depends on what you mean by 'you', doesn't it? Am I the 'who' who told you the Condesce was dead and we roasted smores over her funeral pyre? Than that would be a 'yes'.

[darrrling]

Mean, Psii. [ Gentle thwap as she goes back to eating.

Then she has an awful thought and freezes. ]

Wait. If you're Psii, then...in the bedroom.

[ In the bedroom is the Condesce. Armed with the mind of a powerful psychic with none of the control. Just down the hall from the children... ]

[suffererdualsign]

YOU!

[He barks across the table, almost lunging at him. Alas, he can't hurt that body, so he just stands there looking VERY ANGRY.]

You did this!!

Wait-- is..Her Imperiousness? [He looks like he's going to faint.]

[redfii2hbluefii2h]

[A sneer to Dualscar.]

I didn't do shit-

[Then Milla's words hit him and he freezes up, eyes going wide. Oh fuck.]

[And this isn't even another psionic in his body. This is some stupid seadweller who hasn't the slightest idea how they work, how to control them. He remembers when he was young, hiding away from the city so he could let his powers wear themselves out in peace and solitude. They blew up and set fire to everything.]

[He immediately gets up to his feet.]

Milla, you get Sollux, and I'll get the girl, alright? Wait- Dualscar, you stop being a waste of space and get the girl and I'll go and keep an eye on the space witch.

[Shit shit shit!]

[darrrling]

Right.

[ Milla is up and on her Levitation ball in an instant, bouncing all the way up the stairs and rolling to Sollux's room, enclosing him in the ball with her and heading back out rather than trying to struggle with waking him and risking a commotion that would wake the Condesce as well. ]

[suffererdualsign]

Who the hell is the girl?

Where is she goin'?

[redfii2hbluefii2h]

[Eye roll! Taking you by the arm and ducking under the doorway to get you up the stairs, Dualscar.]

The drone girl. The fake wriggler who's my 'daughter'. [His voice is a low hiss and he sounds a lot more like the Condesce's.]

Get her out safe and don't make too much noise!

[darrrling]

[ Milla rolls down the stairs, slinging Sollux (Feferi, but she doesn't know that) over her shoulder, floating down into her wheelchair. ]

Go. Go,, don't stand around here, we're wasting time, if she loses control-

[suffererdualsign]

[He doesn't really appreciate being dragged tyvm. He wonders if maybe, just maybe, Her Imperiousness is in a similar situation. If so, would it be unlikely that she would require assistance?

He tugs at his arm, frowning defiantly.]

She's none of my concern and I have no intention of assisstin' you make a mockery of Her Imperiousness.