6 ♊ There is some irony here, we're sure of it

[polariity]

A. Action. 724 Anderson.



[Upon awakening, the Psiioniic notices something. Firstly, there is not a body sans legs cuddling up to him. He kind of misses that, you know. Secondly, while the person who that other body belongs to does have quite a bit of hair, it is not nearly as much as he is feeling all around him right now.]

[And then he realizes who actually has that much impossible hair and promptly wakes up so he can flip his shit.]

[And that, housemate, is why a high pitched voice is cursing up a storm enough to make sailors blush. Psii is currently confused and in an empress' body that has horns too big and too much hair. Kind of panicking right now, not gonna lie. His enormously long horns are knocking into everything, and he's kind of gotten himself tangled up in all that hair.]

B. Phone.



[Pick up the phone, Mayfield residents, and you may hear the voice of one Her Imperious Condescension...]

Wow, and right when I thought you couldn't get more fucked up, Mayfield.

[...Except does she usually swear this much? The Psiioniic is not a happy camper.]

What kind of messed up joke is this? First you did that- that thing with my best friend and now you're shoving me into THIS body? What bullshit are you smok...ing...

[He trails off.]

[There's a long moment of silence.]

[A giggle. An excited giggle. Then, whispered very quietly-]

Messed. Is. This. First. Best. Shoving. Bullshit. Okay, you know what, never mind that. Mayfield, I need all the 'S' words and tongue twisters you can give me.

Now. Thanks.

C. Action, midmorning. En Route to 431 Peepers



[After the initial thrill of finally being freed of a lisp, Psiidence has realized that he should probably go check on his own house and Milla, just to see if she's been bodyswapped too... and also, yeah, to see if that Batterwitch is messing up his body.]

[There's just one problem.]

[And that problem keeps getting trapped around lightpoles, fire hydrants, trees, small animals, and children.]

[Yeah, Psiidence hasn't exactly mastered the art of hair yet. So feel free to come across the poor guy, trying to untangle his hair yet again... usually by going at it with a saw he managed to somehow find.]

[Yep. Leaving behind a trail of massive chunks of hair until he gets to Milla's house, no big deal.]

D. Action. All around Mayfield.



[Having a bit of trouble? You might suddenly find a tall alien woman with a a cute bob haircut, a pretty dress, and a bright smile on her face trying to help you.]

[OR]

[Are you a teenager or a child? Do you look like a teenager or a child? Then you may find that very same tall gray alien woman waving you over!] Hey! Excuse me for a second, come here!

Comments

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

...Yeah what about--Oh.

[She grins widely. His excitement is stupidly infectious]

You could say lusus. And my name and--um. [She pauses] Dolorosa and Sollux.

[redfii2hbluefii2h]

Lusus! Disciple! Dolorosa! Sollux!

[He's starting to pace around the fire hydrant in excitement. Getting tangled up worse? No fucks given.]

Psiioniic! Dii- Disciple- I can say my own name! I've never been able to say it before!

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

I'm happy for you Psiionic! [There's something wildly disconcerting about seeing the Condesce's face all lit up like that. She's so pretty when she's happy] At least I am somewhat happy--but wow. How are you even dealing with all that hair? [She walks over and tries untangling it with little success]

[redfii2hbluefii2h]

[Genuinely happy, at that, and not just enjoying the misery of others!]

[Being reminded of his hair makes him wince.]

Right now? Lopping chunks of it off at intervals. How can someone live with all this hair?

[Time to get out the saw again, huh? Siiiigh.]

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

Here, let me have the cutting device. [Di grabs a hunk of hair in one hand and holds out the other] Even my hair is not this bad.

[redfii2hbluefii2h]

Thank you.

[A sigh of relief as he relinquishes it.]

I think Milla cuts hair as her job. I'm thinking of going to her to get it taken care of.

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

That's probably for the best. You'd look awful silly with a bunch of half cut hair trailing behind you. [Disciple hacks away at the hair quite happily, since she sort of hated the Condesce's hair ANYWAYS]

[redfii2hbluefii2h]

I think I look awful silly just having all this hair in the first place.

[That makes two of them, then. Psii is getting no small sense of enjoyment from watching her go at it.]

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

Well yes! I don't know why she thinks it looks good. It's just a mess. [And now he is free of the fire hydrant!] ...Should I cut off some more?

[redfii2hbluefii2h]

[A pause as he looks over what he has.]

I think I'm good for right now. Milla should be able to take care of the rest of it.

Have you seen Signless yet?

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

Well where should I put this then? [She holds up the saw and contemplates it, absently replying] Yeah he didn't get switched either--thought he brought it up oddly enough.

[redfii2hbluefii2h]

[Psii just takes it and puts it in what hair is left. Probably not safe, no, but whatever, not his body, not his problem.]

[At her words, however, he pauses and raises an eyebrow.]

Dii... Me and Signless were just talking on the phone before I went out. He definitely swapped.

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

[Di's about to protest his unsafe stowing space selections when she stops still and stares at him]

What.

[redfii2hbluefii2h]

He told me not to use Condesce's body to mess with the wrigglers. And encouraged me to get my hair cut. We joked about the weird shit this troll keeps in her hair, and he told me to say his name!

He definitely switched, because that wasn't his usual voice telling me to do all that.

[Psii's eyes narrow dangerously.]

Dii, he's in Dualscar's body.

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

...And Dual...Dualscar is in his body.

[Her hands are limp at her sides as she stares off into space. She kissed him, called him love, treated him like--HE CALLED HER LOVE.

HE LET HER DO THINGS.]

...I am going to claw him a new one. [Wow that wasn't spoken in a dangerous voice at all] No wonder he called me wench that ass, I thought it was just Mayfield messing with him and he--ugh he let me kiss him!

[redfii2hbluefii2h]

He let you what!?

[SOMEONE IS GOING TO DIE wait no calm the fuck down. Deep breathes!]

Well we can't hurt him now, he and Signless are switched. Ugh, that fishfucker. Maybe if we find out where he lives...

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

I treated him like freaking Signless because I thought he was and so I--well. [Her blush is ridiculous, a wash of green over her face as she buries her face in her hands] I should have realize it wasn't him. Really I should have, but no, I thought it was just him worrying over me and--ugh.

Just pawful. [When she finally looks back up at Psii, she looks rather pathetically guilty and upset. Sigh] ...I'll worry about it later then.

[redfii2hbluefii2h]

It's fine, we'll get him back later.

[In a way Signless will approve of, even. Maybe.]

...I'd, uh, offer some physical comfort of some kind, but I don't think you'd be comfy with this body doing hugging or hand holding or any of that.

[He is a sad fish. Watch his fins droop.]

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

[Her face tries to tug into a smile and she shrugs] I already made out with a highblood in Signless' body, hugging the Condesce can't be that weird right?

[redfii2hbluefii2h]

[A low laugh that actually isn't very happy.] Dii, sorry to disappoint, but the flaw there is that you still thought it was Signless.

I'll be fine. Want to meet up later when I have this giant tentaclebeast off my head?

[disciplewhomsignlessloves]

I know it's you in there but...Yeah that would be fine. I'll try to catch up with Signless sometime. The purroper Signless.