Four Doomed Timelines - At Least He's Not Competing with Egbert

[cawtier]

[Awww shit yeah. Dave isn't all about japes and capers like his bro John but he considers himself a fair hand in the pranking business.

WHERE DOING IT
WHERE MAKING IT HAPEN

At various times throughout the first four days of April:]

[Pranking Scout]

[NAK NAK NAK

That is the sound of some bird pecking at the window of your bedroom at god knows what time in the morning. It is a totally rad orange crow with sunglasses. He is just so cool. So incredibly cool, in fact, you can feel your face tingling, just looking at him.

Wait. That. Might not be his incredible coolness making your face tingle.]

[Pranking Luke]

[Some kind of plaintive CA-CAW rings out through the air and the next thing you know this orange blur comes plummeting from the sky. Right in front of your face. Landing on the ground with a pathetic thump.

Poor bird, rest in peace.

Inspect radical orange corpse? Y/N]

[Pranking Dualscar]

[RISE AND SHINE. It's a beautiful morning and HAHAHA WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ON YOUR BEDROOM WALL?

Terrible orange as shit drawing of JigSaw's face and WOOD you LIKE TO PLAY a gaME? scrawled on your wall. As well as an arrow pointing towards the window and look OUT the widow written there as well.]

[Pranking The Captain]

[Somewhere, somehow, you have stumbled across an incredibly shitty plastic lamp lying under a tree. No seriously, it looks like a toy someone bought from the dollar store (spoiler: it is). In any case, there are some pretty clear instructions written on the tree trunk above it, with an orange arrow pointing down at it:

RUB ME LIKE SOME FINE ASS AWW YEAH

SEEMS LEGIT. Who would pass up a genie, huh?]

[Pranking Clubs Deuce]

[After watching this guy for a while, Dave decided to just. Do something ridiculously stupid.

There is totally a line of candy down the sidewalk leading into an alley. And a FREED CANDY label at the start of the trail. WHAT COULD GO WRONG?]

[Action; Everywhere]

[Davesprite can also be found flying around, either setting up pranks or chillin' like a villain. At various points he may be rockin' a sweet new hat or other loot. He is totally on the lookout for anyone trying to get the upper hand on him.]

Hahaha just so many chumps lining up for a serving of their own ass like they just survived a fuckin' ass famine, guys just can't get enough of it.

[OoC: Anyone who is pranking Dave for the event can respond here. Likewise, anyone just trying to prank him for fun or otherwise wanting to interact normally can be here. Also, feel free to run across the same prank set-up as Luke and The Captain]

[Phone, after Pranking Scout]

Alright I've never heard of this brand and it totally looks toxic but somethings you just got to do for science so wish me luck.

[There's a pop and fizz - the sound of a can of soda being opened. Then a lot of metallic scrabbling of claws and wings on metal]

Oh holy shit how am I even supposed to goddamn lack of opposable thumbs I just-

[SPLOOSH. Yeah, Something just spilled.]

Whatever just get in my gullet-

Oh HOPY SHIT GOTTA GO FAST-!

[There's a crash, like a window breaking and the call ends]

[Action, Anywhere, immediately after the above phone call]

[THERE IS AN ORANGE FREAKIN' BLUR GOING BY YOU. AND FIRING NEON ORANGE LASERS EVERYWHERE, LITTLE SPARKLING BROKEN DISKS COMING OFF IT. AND ORANGE FEATHERS, EVERYWHERE.]

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Comments

action after call

[duodecim]

[Oh god what the fuck]

AAAH!

[She just screams as a laser shoots past her head OH GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING.]

[cawtier]

[That is an orange blur coming back around again WOW BE GLAD YOU ARE NOT THAT SHRUB HE JUST INCINERATED WITH ORANGE SPARKLINESS]

Holy shit why is this thing so hard to steer?!

[shellfishlovver]

[Another morning after another night made restless from horrorterrors. He curses the horrible sleeping platforms his wife insists on making him sleep on and sits up, rubbing his eyes.

That's....new.

He doesn't remember such hideous paintings being there before. He stands to inspect them, grumbling the whole time.]

What's a fuckin' widow?

[He supposes the big square that the arrow is pointing at is a 'widow' and he shifts toward it, cautiously peering out of it.]

[cawtier]

[On the lawn is more terrible scrawl:

hey FISH BOI bet you aren't MEN ENUFF to come out and FIGHT ME
GLUB GLUB HUGE FISH

Well, are you? ARE YOU?]

Action, After Phone Call

[monk_of_keyfu]

[Going by him?]

[Little bird, this guy is in your way. Never mind that he's currently standing on top of someone's car, fists on hips in a stereotypically heroic gesture, and grinning all crosseyed.]

My! We are truly partaking in the festival of foolish apple juice!

[Hope you can steer, because he doesn't seem to be paying attention at all.]

[cawtier]

OH HOLY SHIT MOOOOOOOVE MAN I CAN'T STEER IN 3RD PERSON

[Wow dude get out of the way or you're getting an orange laser in the face before he hits you]

[freakinblur]

[Scout groggily awakens, one eye open to peer at the weird orange bird outside his window. Scout doesn't sleep much, but when he does, it's like the dead.

Absently, he rubs his face and... why is his hand now orange.]

What the crap?

[Time to ignore bird and check the closest mirror.]

[cawtier]

[Congrats Scout, you are now the proud owner of some orange eye outlines and facial hair:



Oh and your hat says DUMB on it now. And your hair has terrible orange racing stripes]

Awwww yeah look at that magical make-over.

action

[foretaste]

[ WHAT IS THAT DELICIOUS SMELL ZOOMING BY

IS IT A FLYING CREAMSICLE

YES IT IS

Terezi jumps around trying to catch feathers, oblivious to any distress. ]

[cawtier]

Oh holy shit was that Terezi I just saw go by!?

[SCREEEE okay trying to turn around without lasering the neighborhood WELL, MOST OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD and coming back her way WATCH OUT TZ]

action;

[cullscuttlefish]

[Oh shit that sure was a laser and a disc thing approaching way too close to Feferi's head. Enough to make her duck and screech.]

What the shell was that?

[cawtier]

It's MAGIC yoooooooo-

[That last syllable dopplers past as the orange blur flies over her head again]

The Captain and the Lamp

[hisnameisthecaptain]

[What the ☠☠☠☠ is this?

The Captain looks around to make sure no one's watching before picking up the lamp. Squinting and taking his time to sound out the words.

Oh, like a genie? Seems legit.

The Captain rubs it.]

[cawtier]

[There's some rustling and then an orange crow with shades falls out of the tree branches above MAGICALLY APPEARS.]

Sup, dawg, thanks for rubbing my lamp, I'm free after ten thousand years, all that. I am the magic orange bird of the lamp, can I take you order? What do you want, super powers? Everyone wants super powers.

[action]

[headfullofempty]

[Freed candy? Yay~ He picks up the first piece, and stows it in his hat. Then he sees the next piece.]

Another one? Man, I am one lucky guy!

[That one, the next one, and so on all make their way into his hat.]

[cawtier]

[Holy crap this chump is too easy.

In any case, the trail of candy leads into the alley and further back, into a wooden crate. There's no way he'd go into it... right?]

[action]

[demonqueen]

[Just watching the light show.]

Pretty Sunbird..... So bright, so wonderful....

[cawtier]

Everything is shining colors why won't the world stop spinning!?

[He is just your own little rave ball laser light show as he spins about in the air at a million miles an hour shooting lasers and generally being blasted out of his mind]

Action - Sneaking into Dave's house

[sunnydwithagun]

('Sup Dave. You're on Django's list and he's taking care of you first!

So he has a few walkie talkies and wants to plant one in your room, but needs to get in there without getting caught. You wouldn't happen to be patrolling, would you?)

[cawtier]

[Nah, he's mostly just dicking around in the tree in the back yard, magic spray painting different shit on the lawn as he figures out the best way to prank his own targets]

[Action; Before Call/Anywhere really]

[bantorain]

-Dootdidoodoo Just minding her own business, trotting along on Quicksilver and totally not bird hunting in any way.-

[cawtier]

[Dave's only recognition of her as he chills is a) not one of his targets and b) what the hell is a Quicksilver?]

action after call.

[crosseyed]

[[what.

the heck was that? she stops dead in her tracks and she slooooowly looks around. oh. lasers. out of nowhere. she's getting a little anxious.]]

Please, stop firing those lasers! And yelling! It is frighte-- [[a laser flies right past her head. she'll just stop talking.]]

[cawtier]

Nope, can't stop, I'm a fucking shark, if I don't keep moving I'll die, also, suck my diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick, I'm a shaaaaaaaaaaaark!

[That is one feathery orange blur flying past Nia at roughly a bazillion miles an hour]

[hintcoinplz]

[>Y

After nearly having a heart attack, Luke cautiously approaches the dead (?) and strange-looking bird.]

P-poor thing. What on earth happened to it...?

[cawtier]

[And suddenly the bird starts flopping about like it's possessed and firing lasers every which direction]

CAW CAW MOTHERFUCKER!

[ragazzamento]

[Davesprite was a stupid name. That's all that Romana had decided, that and how stupid this whole thing was. But the rash had freaked her out and now here she is with a bucket of water she's half filled so she can still carry it.

She'll find this Davesprite. Somehow.]

[cawtier]

You look pissed. Please tell me that's for one of the trolls.

[Sure is an orange bird with iShades talking to you from that tree.]