Four Doomed Timelines - At Least He's Not Competing with Egbert

[cawtier]

[Awww shit yeah. Dave isn't all about japes and capers like his bro John but he considers himself a fair hand in the pranking business.

WHERE DOING IT
WHERE MAKING IT HAPEN

At various times throughout the first four days of April:]

[Pranking Scout]

[NAK NAK NAK

That is the sound of some bird pecking at the window of your bedroom at god knows what time in the morning. It is a totally rad orange crow with sunglasses. He is just so cool. So incredibly cool, in fact, you can feel your face tingling, just looking at him.

Wait. That. Might not be his incredible coolness making your face tingle.]

[Pranking Luke]

[Some kind of plaintive CA-CAW rings out through the air and the next thing you know this orange blur comes plummeting from the sky. Right in front of your face. Landing on the ground with a pathetic thump.

Poor bird, rest in peace.

Inspect radical orange corpse? Y/N]

[Pranking Dualscar]

[RISE AND SHINE. It's a beautiful morning and HAHAHA WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ON YOUR BEDROOM WALL?

Terrible orange as shit drawing of JigSaw's face and WOOD you LIKE TO PLAY a gaME? scrawled on your wall. As well as an arrow pointing towards the window and look OUT the widow written there as well.]

[Pranking The Captain]

[Somewhere, somehow, you have stumbled across an incredibly shitty plastic lamp lying under a tree. No seriously, it looks like a toy someone bought from the dollar store (spoiler: it is). In any case, there are some pretty clear instructions written on the tree trunk above it, with an orange arrow pointing down at it:

RUB ME LIKE SOME FINE ASS AWW YEAH

SEEMS LEGIT. Who would pass up a genie, huh?]

[Pranking Clubs Deuce]

[After watching this guy for a while, Dave decided to just. Do something ridiculously stupid.

There is totally a line of candy down the sidewalk leading into an alley. And a FREED CANDY label at the start of the trail. WHAT COULD GO WRONG?]

[Action; Everywhere]

[Davesprite can also be found flying around, either setting up pranks or chillin' like a villain. At various points he may be rockin' a sweet new hat or other loot. He is totally on the lookout for anyone trying to get the upper hand on him.]

Hahaha just so many chumps lining up for a serving of their own ass like they just survived a fuckin' ass famine, guys just can't get enough of it.

[OoC: Anyone who is pranking Dave for the event can respond here. Likewise, anyone just trying to prank him for fun or otherwise wanting to interact normally can be here. Also, feel free to run across the same prank set-up as Luke and The Captain]

[Phone, after Pranking Scout]

Alright I've never heard of this brand and it totally looks toxic but somethings you just got to do for science so wish me luck.

[There's a pop and fizz - the sound of a can of soda being opened. Then a lot of metallic scrabbling of claws and wings on metal]

Oh holy shit how am I even supposed to goddamn lack of opposable thumbs I just-

[SPLOOSH. Yeah, Something just spilled.]

Whatever just get in my gullet-

Oh HOPY SHIT GOTTA GO FAST-!

[There's a crash, like a window breaking and the call ends]

[Action, Anywhere, immediately after the above phone call]

[THERE IS AN ORANGE FREAKIN' BLUR GOING BY YOU. AND FIRING NEON ORANGE LASERS EVERYWHERE, LITTLE SPARKLING BROKEN DISKS COMING OFF IT. AND ORANGE FEATHERS, EVERYWHERE.]

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Comments

[cawtier]

Yeah. I mean, not all shadows just out in the outer reaches of the universe and shit.

And I dunno, I guess so? I mean, Rose said they were trying to help us and they probably were but they also made her go crazy and stuff so, uh, not sure how helpful that really is.

[demonqueen]

........

Who is Rose..?

[cawtier]

The friend I mentioned who talked to the Horrorterrors. She was here a while ago, I think. She's around in town but luckily no longer crazy.

[demonqueen]

Did she stop talking to them? You should tell her that it displeases you....

[cawtier]

I dunno, maybe. I mean, either way, she can't talk to them here.

[demonqueen]

Yes....

Many of the voices that used to speak to me are now silent.....

[She pauses, looking confused.]

Is that.... a good thing...?

[cawtier]

I dunno. I mean, depends what they told you? But generally speaking, voices in your head that no one else hears are usually a bad thing.

[demonqueen]

They told me.... different things. There was one.... that sounded like Brother...

Telling me... to fight. Always to fight.... To make his enemies disappear.

[She suddenly stops, realizing something.]

I have not heard Brother's voice in a very long time...

[cawtier]

Uh, yeah, hmm, I'm gonna pass on judging that one. Sounds like you'd kind of have to be there to know what to do with it. [No it's probably all bad but, hey, why piss her off? He kind of feels like crap right now]

Well, who knows, maybe he'll end up here.

[demonqueen]

[She... isn't sure how she'd feel about that. She has bad memories of Nobunaga. And if he were here, then surely he'd be even more displeased with her than usual. But at least she'd have someone around to tell her what she should do. That seems hard to come by, in Mayfield. Then again, he already made it clear that he no longer wanted anything to do with her.]

Brother.... will not come here. Not for me....

[cawtier]

Yeah, well. Maybe he'll end up here anyway. It's not like anyone chooses to come here.

[demonqueen]

.........

Do you dislike this place, Sunbird?

[cawtier]

Well, yeah. I mean, it could be worse, but this place messes around with us every month, people appear and disappear at random... it's pretty messed up shit.

[demonqueen]

How terrible.....


Poor little Sunbird. Such a kind soul does not deserve such misfortune....

[cawtier]

You make it sound like this doesn't affect you too.

[demonqueen]

[That just.... doesn't often occur to her.]

It does not matter what happens to me...

Only that it would please me if you were happy.

[That's right. As long as kind people like Lord Happy, Lord Elmer, the Little Oni, and the Sunbird were well, Oichi didn't care what anyone did to her.]

[cawtier]

Uh, right. Okay. [THAT'S NICE BUT ALSO KIND OF CREEPY...]

I mean, it's not like I'm actively suffering right this second. Except sort of because holy crap that soda was terrible. But yeah, this place is messed up and not very high on my list of preferred vacation spots.

[demonqueen]

[So he doesn't like it here. And Oichi has no idea how to change this place or to let him leave.]

I see....

[She bows her head, ashamed.]

Forgive my worthlessness, Sunbird. I truly wish there was some way I could ease your suffering..

[cawtier]

Whoa there. I appreciate the feelings and all except for the despair and stuff because that's just depressing, but I'm pretty sure no one who's stuck here knows how to do jack shit about our situation, or they wouldn't be stuck here. We are all in the shit together.

[demonqueen]

Together...?

If we all fight the same foe....

If we all have the same goal....... why do we fight each other?

[cawtier]

Because some people are dumb as sacks of rocks that were dropped as children. Also, bored.

[demonqueen]

[She smiles faintly.]

It would be better if more of them would heed your wisdom.