Four Doomed Timelines - At Least He's Not Competing with Egbert

[cawtier]

[Awww shit yeah. Dave isn't all about japes and capers like his bro John but he considers himself a fair hand in the pranking business.

WHERE DOING IT
WHERE MAKING IT HAPEN

At various times throughout the first four days of April:]

[Pranking Scout]

[NAK NAK NAK

That is the sound of some bird pecking at the window of your bedroom at god knows what time in the morning. It is a totally rad orange crow with sunglasses. He is just so cool. So incredibly cool, in fact, you can feel your face tingling, just looking at him.

Wait. That. Might not be his incredible coolness making your face tingle.]

[Pranking Luke]

[Some kind of plaintive CA-CAW rings out through the air and the next thing you know this orange blur comes plummeting from the sky. Right in front of your face. Landing on the ground with a pathetic thump.

Poor bird, rest in peace.

Inspect radical orange corpse? Y/N]

[Pranking Dualscar]

[RISE AND SHINE. It's a beautiful morning and HAHAHA WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ON YOUR BEDROOM WALL?

Terrible orange as shit drawing of JigSaw's face and WOOD you LIKE TO PLAY a gaME? scrawled on your wall. As well as an arrow pointing towards the window and look OUT the widow written there as well.]

[Pranking The Captain]

[Somewhere, somehow, you have stumbled across an incredibly shitty plastic lamp lying under a tree. No seriously, it looks like a toy someone bought from the dollar store (spoiler: it is). In any case, there are some pretty clear instructions written on the tree trunk above it, with an orange arrow pointing down at it:

RUB ME LIKE SOME FINE ASS AWW YEAH

SEEMS LEGIT. Who would pass up a genie, huh?]

[Pranking Clubs Deuce]

[After watching this guy for a while, Dave decided to just. Do something ridiculously stupid.

There is totally a line of candy down the sidewalk leading into an alley. And a FREED CANDY label at the start of the trail. WHAT COULD GO WRONG?]

[Action; Everywhere]

[Davesprite can also be found flying around, either setting up pranks or chillin' like a villain. At various points he may be rockin' a sweet new hat or other loot. He is totally on the lookout for anyone trying to get the upper hand on him.]

Hahaha just so many chumps lining up for a serving of their own ass like they just survived a fuckin' ass famine, guys just can't get enough of it.

[OoC: Anyone who is pranking Dave for the event can respond here. Likewise, anyone just trying to prank him for fun or otherwise wanting to interact normally can be here. Also, feel free to run across the same prank set-up as Luke and The Captain]

[Phone, after Pranking Scout]

Alright I've never heard of this brand and it totally looks toxic but somethings you just got to do for science so wish me luck.

[There's a pop and fizz - the sound of a can of soda being opened. Then a lot of metallic scrabbling of claws and wings on metal]

Oh holy shit how am I even supposed to goddamn lack of opposable thumbs I just-

[SPLOOSH. Yeah, Something just spilled.]

Whatever just get in my gullet-

Oh HOPY SHIT GOTTA GO FAST-!

[There's a crash, like a window breaking and the call ends]

[Action, Anywhere, immediately after the above phone call]

[THERE IS AN ORANGE FREAKIN' BLUR GOING BY YOU. AND FIRING NEON ORANGE LASERS EVERYWHERE, LITTLE SPARKLING BROKEN DISKS COMING OFF IT. AND ORANGE FEATHERS, EVERYWHERE.]

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Comments

[cawtier]

Everything is shining colors why won't the world stop spinning!?

[He is just your own little rave ball laser light show as he spins about in the air at a million miles an hour shooting lasers and generally being blasted out of his mind]

[demonqueen]

[And she is just loving it. The lights are so shiny and beautiful. She's using the shadows to keep herself at the best possible vantage point, because they're faster than she is and have better mobility.]

Oh, glorious Sunbird, I am unworthy of such wondrous light.

[cawtier]

Hahaha no kidding this is like winning the fucking lottery just handing out free lasers every which-a-way like I'm made of the shit awww yeah oh god my head hurts.

[And at some point, spinning around in the air has become spinning around on the ground, flapping about and turning donuts on the lawn]

[demonqueen]

[Hmmm that actually looks like it might be unpleasant for the poor bird. And she can't have that.]

Do you require assistance?

[The shadows pick her up and deposit her closer to him.]

[cawtier]

[He stops kicking about and looks up at her]

Nah I got this totally under control situation is so fucking cool right now you'd get frostbite if you touched it, cart your right off to the ICU and amputate all your fingers and that would just be a damn shame.

[demonqueen]

I see....

[She didn't actually understand half the words he used... But she is still interested in the pretty lights she saw before.]

For what happy occasion have you graced the unworthy with such beauty?

[cawtier]

[He's still lying on his back, vibrating (or seizuring?) in the grass, but at least he's not firing lasers]

I drank this wicked elixir called Bonk! Soda and it has pretty much turned my insides into pure, burning energy.

[demonqueen]

It does not hurt, does it? You will be alright?

[cawtier]

I think it probably hurts but I can't tell because I think I'm also temporarily invincible. Nothing can hurt me now.

[demonqueen]

That is good. I should hate for anything bad to happen to you.

[cawtier]

Awesome, I'm sure nothing bad or terrible will ever come of me for zooming around at a hundred miles per hour blasting lasers everywhere speaking of which gotta go do that now.

[He flies straight up (WHO KNEW CROWS COULD DO VERTICAL TAKE OFFS?) firing a laser into the sky before he comes spiraling back down, flapping about unevenly, feathers everywhere.]

[demonqueen]

[okay, even she's having trouble believing that this isn't uncomfortable. When he comes back down he'll find a cushion of shadows waiting to soften any potential impact.]

Poor Sunbird, all your lovely feathers are falling out....

[Some stray feathers are being collected by shadow hands for her perusal.]

[cawtier]

[He kind of flops unceremoniously onto the shadows. It's only a few spare feathers, no major molting. Still twitching and kind of sparking though.]

Those were the slow feathers; couldn't keep up with this speed.

[demonqueen]

[She kneels down next to him.]

I see.... then they are best left behind....

[One of the shadows hands her a feather and she turns it over in her hands, fascinated.]

Still.... even the slow ones are pretty...

[cawtier]

I have not many people who would call bright fucking orange "pretty".

[demonqueen]

Oh... But they are like the sun....

[cawtier]

I guess? Sun always struck me as more yellowish. Or maybe reddish. One of the two.

[demonqueen]

The sun is many colors. But it is always bright.

[She turns the feather over in her hand.]

Just like these.....

Oh, how I miss the sun...

[cawtier]

Yeah, uh, last I checked, the sun was still in the sky.

[demonqueen]

I was consumed by shadow long ago......

No longer worthy of the sun...

[cawtier]

Is that what these dark army-dealy things are?

[demonqueen]

Yes....

[One of the shadow arms reaches out and absently strokes her hair.]

They are my friends....... the only things that do not abandon me...

[cawtier]

Uh...huh. Somehow I am not super surprised. So did you get them because you're so gloomy or did you get so gloomy because you got them?

[demonqueen]

[Hmm... no one has ever asked where they came from. Not even back home. She has to think for a minute to recall the first time they appeared.]

They came to me one day.... I did not call for them, but still they came....

Lady Nohime was... planning to dispose of me.

[Her eyes seem unfocused, and she's losing herself a bit in the memory.]

I was staring at her gun... and crying? Yes, crying... Pleading to... speak to Brother... one last time. But she would not listen....

Then... they came...

[She reaches out and rests the tip of her finger on one of the shadows.]

[cawtier]

Uhhh-huhhhh... so one of those "about to die, suddenly superpowers" moments, huh? I guess that's a thing that happens.