Drink Count: 17 || New World, New Home

[eyesofaserpent]

[Forward dated to January 16.]


A. [Action: 852 Goldberg Street, ridiculous o'clock]

[The alarm klaxons jarred Crowley out of a comfortable sleep. The demon sat bolt upright and blinked his yellow snake eyes blearily. It took him a minute to realize that something was off about the room he was in. The shadow of the tree outside wasn't quite right. The wallpaper was different. His "wife" didn't look the same.

His wife didn't look the same.

He jumped out of the bed, blessing under his breath.]

Bollocks.


B. [Action: 852 Goldberg Street, later morning]

[He checked to make sure his Bentley was in the garage. It was. He also found his puppy and all her accessories in exactly the same places they had been in 915 Bilko Boulevard, only in this new house. How strange.

Crowley was dressed in a smart black suit and red shirt that had once been scratchy slacks and a hideous jumper. He was also, of course, wearing his snakeskin shoes and sunglasses. He sat at the kitchen table, drinking a poor excuse for a cup of coffee. He was going to have to go shopping.]


C. [Action: 915 Bilko Boulevard, around noon]

[He can't stop himself for wanting to check on Kyon. He couldn't leave the poor boy alone without at least checking to see if he was alright, right? He drives on over and parks in the driveway. The demon strides into the house as if he lives there. Which he did up until this morning.]

Kyon? Are you in here, kid?


D. [Action: Olney's Tavern, late afternoon]

[Crowley's looking a bit irritable behind the bar. What the hell is with this town?]

What'll you have?


E. [Phone: Locked to Aziraphale]

[Crowley's just a little on edge when he's able to get to the back of the tavern to make his phone call to Aziraphale. He paces as far as the phone cord will let him and he's hissing a bit.]

Pick up. Pickuppickuppickup! Bloody hell Angel, this is not the time to neglect your bloody phone!

Comments

[kingofshadows]

Oh. How thoughtful. I've never thought to make friends with any; I just stopped being very good at playing pretend after the age of six.

.........You're going to say you do mind control, aren't you?

[eyesofaserpent]

[He lets out a bark of laughter, still shaking away.]

No, I add it to their tabs. They never notice.

[kingofshadows]

Ah.

Hm. Not quite as interesting. I was actually hoping you'd say 'yes'. I pretend to be uninterested by you, you know, so I don't look quite as stupid being excited about these things.

Were you going to drink that or are you waiting to spray it in my face?

[eyesofaserpent]

Well, if I had full use of my powers I could use mind control,but Mayfield hasn't seen fit to give that back to me.

[He snorts and sets the shaker down, breaking the seal. He then pours it into a glass filled with ice and tops it off with soda water.]

Hardly. It's a Ramos Gin Fizz.

[kingofshadows]

[Grimsley leans forward with some interest.]

Was that the name of the drink or the demonic incantation you use for mind control?

[eyesofaserpent]

The drink. I don't need an incantation to control someone.

[kingofshadows]

That was a particularly clever joke the likes of which are usually much worse at this point of drunkenness. Do laugh.

[eyesofaserpent]

[He offered him a chuckle.]

Sorry. I'm probably not drunk enough.

[kingofshadows]

You most certainly are not. I daresay you still only see one of me, much removed from the ten fine upstanding young men I see before my own eyes.

[eyesofaserpent]

Ten? Well then.

[He leans over closer to Grimsley.]

And we're all devilishly handsome, I suspect.

[kingofshadows]

[gasp]

I knew psychic powers were included in the package demonic deal.

[eyesofaserpent]

Well, they are when I'm at full power. [He chuckles.]

[kingofshadows]

I've been hearing so much about this full power business that I might as well just ask for the full story.

[eyesofaserpent]

There's not really much to tell, mate.

[kingofshadows]

We both know that's what anyone says when they're dying to tell a story but they want the other to coax it out of them in the correctly ingratiating manner.

Or at least, that's what I do. Out with it, man.

[eyesofaserpent]

There really isn't much of a story. Mayfield is awful. Slowly they're handing me back fragments of power that should all just be one thing.

[kingofshadows]

I meant I wanted to hear all about your amazing powers, man.

[eyesofaserpent]

Oh, er... It's not really anything I ever had to think about before coming here and getting it back in pieces. It would probably be easier for you to ask me if I can do something or not.

[kingofshadows]

It would take eons to query every supernatural ability I could think of individually. You might have the time, but I'd be a corpse before I could ask you if you could give me eternal life.

[eyesofaserpent]

Well, that I can tell you I can't do.

[kingofshadows]

Oh.

My hidden agenda, already an impossibility from the getgo. Now what am I going to talk about the rest of the night?

[eyesofaserpent]

...

My arse?

[kingofshadows]

Heh.


Ahaa. Ahem. ...You, ah. You... hehe... -- Ahahahahahahahahahaaa!

[He laughs ironically, snidely, in jest, and in mild amusement. But he can't remember the last time he's laughed quite as wholeheartedly. Being drunk probably had something to do with it. He wipes away his tears of mirth as he buries his head in his arms.]

I really can't decide if you're the worst friend or the best friend I've ever had.

[eyesofaserpent]

Probably both. [This is not the first time he's been told this. He's clearly quite proud of himself.]

[kingofshadows]

You are awful.

You are the Queen of Spades. The Old Maid. The million dollar prize flanked by game overs on a turnstile of fortune. The snake-eyes in a game of craps. To come across you is a rare delight that few have the pleasure of knowing, and yet somehow simultaneously an omen of arse-contemplating doom.

[He sighs a little and props his head up on his still folded arms.]

...

You see?

I've gone and wiped my sleeves all over the countertop soaked with unidentifiable fluid which I can only hope is alcohol. And I really can't be bothered to lift them.