。001 | action + phone

[mydear]

ACTION • KRAMDEN ROAD.

[ It'd be safe to say that waking up in a strange place in a bed is entirely unusual for Aziraphale - considering he doesn't have a bed for any purpose other than for his only friend to nap in and that he doesn't sleep, all of this is very strange. He was a little more happy to find that he'd been given a set of rather fine clothes - but that was less important. He walks downstairs and almost has a very-unangelic heart attack - not a single book in sight. In fact, this is looking less and less like Soho and more and more like some elaborate joke to mess with his head, neither of which he is particularly appreciative of.

Opening the door, he steps outside and looks around - and there he stands, kind of wide-eyed and lost. Because this is not home and he certainly has no idea how to go about explaining it. Divinity only explains so much, after all, and he doesn't think anyone Up There would play this kind of joke on him (no matter how grand his part in stopping the end of the world was). ]

PHONE •  (OPEN)

[ There's a long silence before the sound of fumbling and a soft, lost little sigh - and then the angel gets the hang of it. Technology of any kind will always be lost on him. ]

Hello? Is anyone there?

Comments

[swineprince]

No, but... This place is awful. No one should be stuck here.

[mydear]

... Why is that?

[swineprince]

Bad things happen here. People die. And then they're brought back. There are the drones. They look like people but they're more like mindless automatons. And people that are people can be turned into drones too. Sometimes for a long time, sometimes for a little bit.

And sometimes it's really bad. There was this creepy carnival last week. And there were zombies a month ago...

[mydear]

Bad things happen everywhere.

[ But this doesn't sound good. He pauses, nodding along. ]

Zombies? [ It's unbelievable, really. ]

It sounds like a nightmare.

[swineprince]

That's not an inaccurate description. I mean... Sometimes it's okay. Like now...

[mydear]

It seems rather peaceful right now, yes.

[ He sits down, shaking his head, ]

This is all a little much.

[swineprince]

Uhm... It gets worse... You're a human right now. I never saw you use any sort of magic but your wings are gone. So... I...

[He sets a plate of food on the table in front of him.]

You need to eat. And... You liked tea, didn't you? Your drone insisted on coffee, but it always felt wrong.

[mydear]

Human?

[ Well, that explains the off feeling. He tries to Will a bible, but, of course, nothing happens. He's shaking a little, trying to work this out. ]

I - I can't be human. That - it's not possible.

[swineprince]

I was human when I first got here. They'll give it back to you. In pieces, yes. But they'll give it back.

[He grabs his tail and gives it a hug.]

I felt so weird without my tail.

[mydear]

In pieces.

[ He feels wrong in every way. Like he's been cut off from everything that he knew -- from his powers, the feeling of the world around him, his connection with Heaven. He feels sick. ]

I... I'm sorry, dear boy, I'm just... Gathering myself.

[swineprince]

N-no... It's okay. It's a lot to take in at first.

[mydear]

It's just a strange feeling. Being human.

[swineprince]

It is. I... Uhm, since you don't know now... I'm a demon.

[mydear]

I - I didn't want to make the assumption, but your tail...

[ He sighs, gripping the table. ]

It's fine. I - You know what I am, and you must also know that demonic friendships are nothing new to me.

[swineprince]

Well, duh. I can't tell you how many times I've come home to find you and Mr. Crowley making out.

[mydear]

[ ....................................................

What. ]

E-Excuse me?

[swineprince]

You two were very bad at hiding it. [He giggles.]

[mydear]

I can't imagine what you're talking about. Crowley and I aren't like that.

[swineprince]

You aren't? [He stares for a moment, figuring it out.]

O-oh! That... That must have happened since coming here. I... I'm so sorry. Forget I ever said anything.

[mydear]

[ Aziraphale shakes his head, feeling completely at a loss. ]

You must have been mistaken, my dear. It's alright.

[swineprince]

[He knows what he saw for two months. He knows that heartbroken look on Crowley's face every time he stopped by and Aziraphale was still a drone. But he'll try to keep it to himself.

The kettle comes to a boil and he pours hot water into a mug over a tea bag. He sets the steeping tea next to Aziraphale's breakfast.]

Here you go.

[mydear]

[ He takes the cup, not drinking it yet. He knows now that he can't cool it down and make it the right temperature - he has to wait. Like a human. ]

Thank you.

[swineprince]

I... I'm glad you're back.

[mydear]

[ He looks up from his tea, softening a little. ]

I think I am, too. I'll try not to leave again.

[swineprince]

Yuuko will be glad to see you too.