11th Hat - It's Good to Own Land

[busy_fists]

[In this AU, the generations between Colonel Sassacre and Dad have essentially been cut out completely, with Dad's accompanying timeline having been moved up to match.  In this world, Dad apprenticed directly under Sassacre in the 1800s, sailing up and down the Mississippi on a riverboat entertaining the drunken masses.  During one such trip, he met an alluring Southern belle - Mom Lalonde, the daughter of a wealthy plantation owner.]

[Today, Dad and Mom can be seen on the porch of 311 Miller Street, sitting in rocking chairs and sipping mint juleps.  Dad appears to be wearing a fake mustache and beard - because what classy gent should be without some equally classy facial hair - and a white seersucker suit.  Mom is decked out in a long dress with a full skirt, and a pink shawl in place of her usual scarf.  The two are enjoying the nice calm summer's day, just rocking together and commenting on the weather.]

Warm today.

[Rock.]

Warm yesterday.

[Rock.]

Supposed to be warm tomorrow.

[Rock.  Sip.

They'll go on like this all day, really.  Looks like there's a third rocking chair set up on the porch, for anyone who feels like joining them.  Be careful, though - there's a whoopie cushion on it.  There is also a nice fresh pecan pie sitting on the table next to the empty chair.  Make of that what you will.]

Comments

Sounds good.

[weiss_tank]

Ah, thank you. [He'll come up with a happy smile.] Oh, easy on the booze for me ma'am. [Sob, he's such a light weight]

I think the town's throwin' a temper tantrum again. How are you two making out?

[busy_fists]

Temper tantrum? I haven't noticed anything different.

[Stroking them fake whiskers in thought while rocking some more.]

You notice anything funny?

[Glancing to Mom.]

[pinkscarflady]

[Sorry Ken, Mom doesn't even know what 'easy on the booze' means.]

Not a thing. Unless you mean the sorry state of this bourbon. Hardly up to the quality we had back home.

Why I daresay the Colonel would be appalled!

[weiss_tank]

[Whelp, looks like someones going to get a little tipsy when he drinks that.]

Colonel? Who are you talking about Ma'am?

[busy_fists]

Who? Why, Colonel Sassacre, of course! Only the greatest prankster east of the Mississippi!

[pinkscarflady]

I've seen no proof that anyone to the west can match the Colonel either.

[She flashes Dad a grin.]

Present company excepted, of course.

[weiss_tank]

A prankster huh? Coulda used his help during that event you won my motorcycle from. [Ken is vastly amused by this memory.]

[busy_fists]

[Dad raises his glass at Mom's compliment, taking another long sip before looking back at Ken.]

And a mighty fine steel horse it is, son. But I'll take a riverboat any day of the week.

[pinkscarflady]

[She nods.]

Ah, yes.... I do miss all those lazy days on the river.

Although I wouldn't turn down a chance to try out that fancy steel horse for myself someday.

[weiss_tank]

Ah, if you want I can teach you how to ride too. [Ken said, taking a cautious sip of the drink that was made for him. Something told him that these two were effected as well...Really. Steel Horse?]

[busy_fists]

Oho, I see you're a bit of a prankster yourself there, Ken! A woman, operatin' heavy machinery! That's a knee-slapper if I've ever heard one!

[Yup, 1800s sensibilities all right.]

[pinkscarflady]

Really, you boys should be ashamed of yourselves. Teasing a lady like that....

[She seems just as amused as Dad though.]

Why I don't know if I could ever make heads or tails of that contraption.

[weiss_tank]

Actually, one of the best bikers I know is a girl...[He gets a fond, if sad look on his face.]

Yuriko could out race and out maneuver anyone who challenged her on it.

Oh! Anyways, anyone can learn, it's not that complicated.

[busy_fists]

Well, she sounds like quite a unique young lady. You don't find many with hobbies like that.

[pinkscarflady]

It's really a wonder how she manages it! Surely it would ruin her dress.

[weiss_tank]

A dress? On a motorcycle? Umm...she wore pants. But she was really cute in her tennis outfit. [Someone may be blushing a bit]

A-ANYWAYS! Enough about that. It's too bad we don't have any rivers here to have a boat on.

[busy_fists]

It really is a waste, isn't it? I miss the open waters. Travelin' wherever we pleased...

[pinkscarflady]

[She sighs wistfully.]

Sittin' on the deck, watching the Colonel ply his trade. Watching all those soused gentlemen try to understand his more subtle jests.

[weiss_tank]

Hah, drunk watchin' can be pretty fun if they aren't getting violent.

[busy_fists]

And even more fun when they are!

[pinkscarflady]

[She laughs.]

Oh, you boys and your fisticuffs...

Sorry about that, school ate me

[weiss_tank]

Er...well...uh...Haha, yeah I guess so ma'am!

[busy_fists]

So, Ken, how've you been lately? Have a seat, stay awhile.

[pinkscarflady]

Yes, please do. We'd just love to hear what you've been up to.

[weiss_tank]

Ah, really? I'm afraid it hasn't been too exciting. [He does come and sits down on the chair.

Yeah, the whoopie cushion got him] oh! er...excuse me.