Dad Egbert (
busy_fists) wrote in
mayfield_rpg2012-06-03 09:19 pm
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11th Hat - It's Good to Own Land
[In this AU, the generations between Colonel Sassacre and Dad have essentially been cut out completely, with Dad's accompanying timeline having been moved up to match. In this world, Dad apprenticed directly under Sassacre in the 1800s, sailing up and down the Mississippi on a riverboat entertaining the drunken masses. During one such trip, he met an alluring Southern belle - Mom Lalonde, the daughter of a wealthy plantation owner.]
[Today, Dad and Mom can be seen on the porch of 311 Miller Street, sitting in rocking chairs and sipping mint juleps. Dad appears to be wearing a fake mustache and beard - because what classy gent should be without some equally classy facial hair - and a white seersucker suit. Mom is decked out in a long dress with a full skirt, and a pink shawl in place of her usual scarf. The two are enjoying the nice calm summer's day, just rocking together and commenting on the weather.]
Warm today.
[Rock.]
Warm yesterday.
[Rock.]
Supposed to be warm tomorrow.
[Rock. Sip.
They'll go on like this all day, really. Looks like there's a third rocking chair set up on the porch, for anyone who feels like joining them. Be careful, though - there's a whoopie cushion on it. There is also a nice fresh pecan pie sitting on the table next to the empty chair. Make of that what you will.]
[Today, Dad and Mom can be seen on the porch of 311 Miller Street, sitting in rocking chairs and sipping mint juleps. Dad appears to be wearing a fake mustache and beard - because what classy gent should be without some equally classy facial hair - and a white seersucker suit. Mom is decked out in a long dress with a full skirt, and a pink shawl in place of her usual scarf. The two are enjoying the nice calm summer's day, just rocking together and commenting on the weather.]
Warm today.
[Rock.]
Warm yesterday.
[Rock.]
Supposed to be warm tomorrow.
[Rock. Sip.
They'll go on like this all day, really. Looks like there's a third rocking chair set up on the porch, for anyone who feels like joining them. Be careful, though - there's a whoopie cushion on it. There is also a nice fresh pecan pie sitting on the table next to the empty chair. Make of that what you will.]
Sounds good.
I think the town's throwin' a temper tantrum again. How are you two making out?
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[Stroking them fake whiskers in thought while rocking some more.]
You notice anything funny?
[Glancing to Mom.]
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Not a thing. Unless you mean the sorry state of this bourbon. Hardly up to the quality we had back home.
Why I daresay the Colonel would be appalled!
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Colonel? Who are you talking about Ma'am?
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[She flashes Dad a grin.]
Present company excepted, of course.
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And a mighty fine steel horse it is, son. But I'll take a riverboat any day of the week.
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Ah, yes.... I do miss all those lazy days on the river.
Although I wouldn't turn down a chance to try out that fancy steel horse for myself someday.
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[Yup, 1800s sensibilities all right.]
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[She seems just as amused as Dad though.]
Why I don't know if I could ever make heads or tails of that contraption.
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Yuriko could out race and out maneuver anyone who challenged her on it.
Oh! Anyways, anyone can learn, it's not that complicated.
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A-ANYWAYS! Enough about that. It's too bad we don't have any rivers here to have a boat on.
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Sittin' on the deck, watching the Colonel ply his trade. Watching all those soused gentlemen try to understand his more subtle jests.
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Oh, you boys and your fisticuffs...
Sorry about that, school ate me
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Yeah, the whoopie cushion got him] oh! er...excuse me.
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