mayfield_rpg | 11th Hat - It's Good to Own Land

[In this AU, the generations between Colonel Sassacre and Dad have essentially been cut out completely, with Dad's accompanying timeline having been moved up to match. In this world, Dad apprenticed directly under Sassacre in the 1800s, sailing up and down the Mississippi on a riverboat entertaining the drunken masses. During one such trip, he met an alluring Southern belle - Mom Lalonde, the daughter of a wealthy plantation owner.]

[Today, Dad and Mom can be seen on the porch of 311 Miller Street, sitting in rocking chairs and sipping mint juleps. Dad appears to be wearing a fake mustache and beard - because what classy gent should be without some equally classy facial hair - and a white seersucker suit. Mom is decked out in a long dress with a full skirt, and a pink shawl in place of her usual scarf. The two are enjoying the nice calm summer's day, just rocking together and commenting on the weather.]

Warm today.

[Rock.]

Warm yesterday.

[Rock.]

Supposed to be warm tomorrow.

[Rock. Sip.

They'll go on like this all day, really. Looks like there's a third rocking chair set up on the porch, for anyone who feels like joining them. Be careful, though - there's a whoopie cushion on it. There is also a nice fresh pecan pie sitting on the table next to the empty chair. Make of that what you will.]