mayfield_rpg | 9th Fifth - Warm Weather Brings Out The Best In Us

[Guess what Mayfield? The Captain is drunk, he's had a great morning, and he's naked!

That's right. The alcoholic super hero has gone a bit over board. But still! It gets better!

He may even end up in your house! That's right! Your house!

He's super powered and super naked. You can catch him doing one of the following.]

A)
[He's outside picking a fight with your car/tree/mailbox/dog.

It's a heated argument, he seems to be losing. He is swinging a mostly empty bottle of liquor around.

There's a lot of shouting, but it hasn't gotten violent. Yet.]

B)
[In your kitchen, rummaging around for alcohol or food. He's made a mess of things too.

Your fridge is open, your meats are cooking on the stove with OJ marinade and your milk is spilled all over the floor.]

C)
[In your bathroom, passed out in your shower.

The shower curtain has been torn town and the water is still running on him.

Wait, is that your toothbrush sticking out of his mouth?]

D)
[In your bed. Yes, your bed!

Maybe sprawled out on top of you, or maybe having a naked cuddle. Is he big spoon or small spoon?]

E)
[You got lucky, he never made it inside and he didn't destroy your yard.

Instead he passed out on your lawn, on your driveway or even on your car.]

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[Gilgamesh, instead of doing something sensible like screaming or waking the man up, decides instead to paint on the man's face. With special "paint" made from a cocktail of sauces and cheap beer.]

[So he more or less covers the Captain's body in memorable lines from movies like "Luke, I am your Father!".]

[Let's hope the Captain doesn't wake up in the middle of this.]

[Probably not. And his body is Gilgamesh's canvas.

The Captain makes for one ugly canvas.]

[After he's done, Gilgamesh steps around to survey his handiwork. It looks magnificently ugly.]

[...And why stop there? He runs into the closet to grab a few of Oichi's dresses.]

[This was gonna be good.]

[This is going to end messily.]

[Done!]

[The Captain has now been stuffed into Oichi's dress. It's smeared around some of his body paint, but at least the stuff on his face is intact.]

[Too bad they don't have a wheelchair. Or Gilgamesh could have played Weekend at Bernies' with him.]

[As it is, he has to settle for grabbing two pans and banging them loudly next to the sleeper's ear.]

Wakey, wakey, Sleeping Beauty.

[He jumps away and flies in reaction. Right through the roof of Gilgamesh's house! Leaving a hole as he floats up there looking down.

Then noticing the dress and the art on himself.]

What... the... ☠☠☠☠?

[Gilgamesh, of course, is just grinning and viewing his handiwork.]

Really pretty, right?

[Someone is tearing the dress clean off and using it to try to clean himself.

Realizing he is naked, if hungover, he floats back down through the hole he made.]

Here.

[Handing back the dress, looking sullen.]

...You tore Oichi's dress.

[He looks up at the naked Captain.]

Want me to get you some other clothes?

Oichi? I mean that crazy shadow ☠☠☠☠?

And no, I don't want your help.

She doesn't seem to be that crazy.

[At least, not as crazy as some other people he knew.]

Are you just gonna run around flashing people then?

No...

What did you do with my clothes?

You were naked when you came here.

[This guy seems familiar...]

Hey, wait! You're that bum guy I met when I first came here! Finally changed your mind and decided to become my pet after all?

You're that crazy guy.

Yeah, like I am going to believe you didn't kidnap me.

...

How about you just give me some asprin and we'll call it even?

Sure.

[He's going to go inside the house. When he returns, he'll be holding a jar of aspirin.]

Catch!

[And he throws the aspirin at the Captain with all his superstrength.]

[The Captain is too drunk to really have reflexes. That stings like a bitch when the bottle busts open on his chest.

He glares.]

Ow.

You're a ☠☠☠☠.

Hey, I told you to catch. Your fault that you couldn't catch it.

I am hungover. Do you know what a ☠☠☠☠ hangover is?

Of course I do. You could've said so in the first place. Before I started throwing you the aspirin.

I really don't ☠☠☠☠ like you, you know that?

I'd like to think that you're just in denial and will come around someday.

[That's his ego talking.]

I'd like to think that you will get horrible maimed and never fixed.

Kinda hard to do that to a minor god.

Wouldn't be the first one, won't be the last.

Maybe we can fight if I get all my powers back then.

(no subject)

hisnameisthecaptain - 2012-05-07 17:26 (UTC) - Expand

1st_superhero - 2012-05-07 17:33 (UTC) - Expand

hisnameisthecaptain - 2012-05-09 01:54 (UTC) - Expand