(1) let the games begin

[artificialmoron]

A: 850 Goldberg Street

[There is screaming coming from the master bedroom shortly after dawn. Frantic, incoherent type screaming, apparently by a distressed male.]

Ah! Ah! What's going on? Ahh!

[Yeah, sorry housemates, you might want to check on that.]

B: around town

[Wheatley was supposed to be in space, he knew that much. In space and a core, which certainly not the form he was currently in. He had a body and limbs and hair and, apparently, horrible vision without corrective eyewear. As far as he can tell, he's human. And his housemates make things only minimally better, so he's gone wandering.]

Hi. Yes. You. Can I ask some questions?

Comments

[artificialmoron]

[Oh, no. No, no, no, no.

He starts shrinking away pretty much immediately.]

Er... never mind. Just remembered I left the stove on, so I should get back to that.

[getsciencedone]

[Grabbing your arm.]

Don't even think about it.

[artificialmoron]

Please don't hurt me, I didn't do anything.

[getsciencedone]

You almost destroyed my facility!

[artificialmoron]

It wasn't intentional!

[getsciencedone]

No, it was because you were too stupid to notice it was falling apart around you!

[artificialmoron]

I'm not stupid!

[He's trying to get away again.]

[getsciencedone]

[Still has your arm. Not letting go. Digging her nails in slightly.]

Let me spell it out for you.

You.are.a.moron.

[artificialmoron]

I am NOT a moron!

[Wheatley swings to punch her. Wheatley, who has never punched anything in his memory and is not even entirely sure how he's supposed to manually operate these limbs yet.

So while he might even make contact with her, he's going to immediately pull away in a wince, because he hurt himself.]

[getsciencedone]

[That surprises her, but she manages to move out of the way barely. Letting go of him. She's had a while to get used to this body after all.

And figure out how to use it to defend herself. Which is why she's quickly going to, go to grab your arm and twist it behind your back.]

Yes. You. Are.

[artificialmoron]

I am n-- ow. Ow! What are you doing? That hurts.

[getsciencedone]

Yes.

You tried to hit me. I stopped you.

If you try to hit me again, I will kill you.

Do I make myself clear?

[artificialmoron]

Ye-- No. What is wrong with you?

[getsciencedone]

I have to deal with you again.

Pay attention.

I have no interest in trying to kill you here. But if you attack me, I will defend myself. With lethal force if I need to.

If you attack the test subject. I will also kill you.

[Lets go of him arm.]

Now, do I make myself clear?

[artificialmoron]

[Wheatley takes a good step back when he's finally let go, frowning and rubbing at his arm. Ow, human bodies.]

I'm not as stupid as you constantly make me out to be, whether you like it or not. The test subject is my friend.

[getsciencedone]

Oh of course. My mistake. I'd forgotten how friends try to kill each other all the time.

[artificialmoron]

You're one to talk!

[getsciencedone]

Well, yes, I am.

Do you know why? Because after we threw you into space and I saved her. I let her go.

Free, completely. You can ask her yourself.

But that's not the point.

The point is, I'm not going to try and kill you here. As long as you do not attack me. If you attack me, or her, I will kill you.

I can repeat that again if you'd like.

[artificialmoron]

I'm not.

In fact, I would rather have nothing to do with you.

[getsciencedone]

Oh good. That means I don't have to spend time around you.

[Like she doesn't visit Chell? Wheatley you dreamer you.]

The general intelligence in the area tends to dip whenever you're around anyway. It's rather annoying.

Well I'll leave you to annoy the rest of the populace. Remember not to drink the milk.

[And she'll turn to go with that.]

[artificialmoron]

I'm not annoying!

[But aside from yelling, he won't stop her, blissfully ignorant to the fact that he'll have to interact with her possibly more here than before.]