Five Doomed Timelines - You Never Know What Matters Until It's Gone

[cawtier]

[Action; 436 Peepers Street]



[It's first thing in the morning and who's in the kitchen? It's Kyouko, making sandwiches. That's right. Not even. Eating them. Just. Making sandwiches. Plural. And stacking them up.]

Awwww yeah, lining up like so many chumps waiting to get served. Only we ain't serving them nothing, we're serving them to the other chumps because they are goddamn sandwiches. Chump sandwiches being served to chumps. Fucking chump cannibalism up in here, someone call Chumpibal Lector, his order is ready. Because we can make so many sandwiches. So. Many.

[Davesprite is so happy he has thumbs again.]

[Phone]



[The phone calls starts.]

Yes.

[And then hangs up. Then the phone call starts again.]

Hell yes.

[And then hangs up. And starts once more.]

Hell. [Hang up/Call again] Fucking. [Hang up/Call again] Yes.

Working this phone like Willis works that bald head of his. This phone is getting so worked. Gotta pay it some goddamn overtime. The doorknobs and the windows too. All of them just fucking fall before the might of opposable thumbs. Holy shit, it is just unreal how OP these things are. Twist tops? Un-fucking-twisted. Handles? They are goddamn handled. With real goddamn hands. Yes.

Oh and to the girl who is now in some orange crow body: hahaha sucks to be you. Try not to laser too many people in the face.

[Action; Anywhere]



[Dave in Kyouko's body can be found running around town, opening random doors and windows partly because having thumbs is awesome but mostly because he is a jackass and figures he might as well commit as many crimes as possible while in someone else's body.]

[OoC: Answers will be from finallyhasthumbs]

Comments

[false_administrator]

[ Chewing very thoughtfully. ] This is reaaally weird. [ Also talking with her mouthful because she can. ]

[finallyhasthumbs]

What you never had PB&J before?

[false_administrator]

I don't know what that means?

[finallyhasthumbs]

Peanut Butter and Jelly. Grape jelly, in this case.

[false_administrator]

[ Staring at the sandwich like it's made of gold. ] You can make butter out of peanuts???

[finallyhasthumbs]

Yeah, I guess? Don't ask me how though.

[false_administrator]

Okay, I won't. [ Om nom nom. This isn't too bad. She has more important questions anyway. ] So who're you?

[finallyhasthumbs]

That is a good question. I mean, body-wise. I have no idea whose body this is.

Otherwise I'm Dave.

[false_administrator]

Oh I know that. You're Kyouko!

But I'm Yoshika, and this—[ Patting her chest. ]—is supposed to be Lady Miko.

[finallyhasthumbs]

Uh-huh... so a buncha people I don't know, basically. I guess a name is something... I'll know what to shout if I see my body flying around.

[false_administrator]

You could always fly after it!

[finallyhasthumbs]

Wait what. This body can fly?

[false_administrator]

Yep! I used to be able to, too, and I'm pretty sure Lady Miko can, too, but I can't do it in this body either...

[finallyhasthumbs]

How does that even work? Just magical flying bullshit powers for everyone? Gravity is cheap?

[false_administrator]

I don't know! It just does. [ Reaching for another sandwich and just... stopping there. ]

...
...
...

I feel full! [ Announced with a surprised look on her face. Miko's body can't hold as much food as Yoshika's. That's kind of weird. ]

[finallyhasthumbs]

...that's one hell of an epiphany. Does your normal body not involve eating a lot? ...or I guess involves eating a lot more?

[false_administrator]

Everything just feels different. I keep itching. [ As noted by the red patches of skin on her neck and joints where she'd been scratching. ] And I'm not as hungry... though I'm still not used to actually feeling hungry when I can't even eat whatever I want.

[finallyhasthumbs]

What, you used to just eat random crap?

[false_administrator]

I could eat aaaanything!!

[finallyhasthumbs]

What, like... rocks and stuff?

[false_administrator]

...aaanything I can chew. Rocks are kinda hard.

[finallyhasthumbs]

Well, dude, most people can eat anything they can chew. Well, unless it's like, poison or something.

[false_administrator]

Oh I don't have to worry about poison. I'm a jiang shi. I'm already dead!

[finallyhasthumbs]

A what what?

[false_administrator]

A jiaaang shiiii! [ Sob, why does no one know? ] A zombie, I guess.