Five Doomed Timelines - You Never Know What Matters Until It's Gone

[cawtier]

[Action; 436 Peepers Street]



[It's first thing in the morning and who's in the kitchen? It's Kyouko, making sandwiches. That's right. Not even. Eating them. Just. Making sandwiches. Plural. And stacking them up.]

Awwww yeah, lining up like so many chumps waiting to get served. Only we ain't serving them nothing, we're serving them to the other chumps because they are goddamn sandwiches. Chump sandwiches being served to chumps. Fucking chump cannibalism up in here, someone call Chumpibal Lector, his order is ready. Because we can make so many sandwiches. So. Many.

[Davesprite is so happy he has thumbs again.]

[Phone]



[The phone calls starts.]

Yes.

[And then hangs up. Then the phone call starts again.]

Hell yes.

[And then hangs up. And starts once more.]

Hell. [Hang up/Call again] Fucking. [Hang up/Call again] Yes.

Working this phone like Willis works that bald head of his. This phone is getting so worked. Gotta pay it some goddamn overtime. The doorknobs and the windows too. All of them just fucking fall before the might of opposable thumbs. Holy shit, it is just unreal how OP these things are. Twist tops? Un-fucking-twisted. Handles? They are goddamn handled. With real goddamn hands. Yes.

Oh and to the girl who is now in some orange crow body: hahaha sucks to be you. Try not to laser too many people in the face.

[Action; Anywhere]



[Dave in Kyouko's body can be found running around town, opening random doors and windows partly because having thumbs is awesome but mostly because he is a jackass and figures he might as well commit as many crimes as possible while in someone else's body.]

[OoC: Answers will be from finallyhasthumbs]

Comments

[false_administrator]

I could eat aaaanything!!

[finallyhasthumbs]

What, like... rocks and stuff?

[false_administrator]

...aaanything I can chew. Rocks are kinda hard.

[finallyhasthumbs]

Well, dude, most people can eat anything they can chew. Well, unless it's like, poison or something.

[false_administrator]

Oh I don't have to worry about poison. I'm a jiang shi. I'm already dead!

[finallyhasthumbs]

A what what?

[false_administrator]

A jiaaang shiiii! [ Sob, why does no one know? ] A zombie, I guess.

[finallyhasthumbs]

Huh. Must be weird being alive again.

[false_administrator]

[ Understatement of the century. She frowns. ] I don't like it.

[finallyhasthumbs]

That's a new one. Most dead people are happy to you know, be alive.

[false_administrator]

But being alive means I feel pain and things like that, so it's really inconvenient when it comes to my job.

[finallyhasthumbs]

...what job is that?

[false_administrator]

I am a meat shield guaaaardian!

[finallyhasthumbs]

So you're a meat shield.

[false_administrator]

Huh? No, I'm a zombie. I thought I saaaid that?

[ She might not have. ]

My job was to guard the cave leading to the mausoleum so people wouldn't interfere with Lady Miko's resurrection!

[finallyhasthumbs]

"Zombie" and "meat shield" are not mutually exclusive. In fact, they probably go together really well.

So like... she's some kind of lich?

[false_administrator]

...I don't know what that means, either. [ Today was confusing AND frustrating, and Kyouko — the real one — was nowhere to be found. ]

Can you tell meeee what you're supposed to look like? I need to find Kyouko.

[finallyhasthumbs]

It means like. Zombie wizard. Or something. Man, I don't do that DnD shit.

Oh, right. Well. I'm an orange crow. So. That'll either be really easy or really damn hard to find. On account of the flying and all.

[false_administrator]

Oh. I don't think she's anything like thaaat! She's a—

Uh... [ Shoot. She's supposed to know this, isn't she? ]

Well, she's very impooortant! And she said herself that she can't do anything with the dead. Just the living.

— which I guess is me right now, but hopefully only for a little while!

[ Getting off target, again. ] An orange crow? Huuuh. That's okay. I'll just look up! [ And so she turns to leave the kitchen. ]

[finallyhasthumbs]

Yeah, have fun with that.

[He's not about to stop her]