shirk

[thebeastwithout]

[voice]
Whoa. Hold on. Time out, dudes. So school was pretty OK at first, and I guess there was a buncha stuff that was good to know. I had no idea Napoleon crossed the Saraha on an elephant; I thought he was just the guy who invented that triple ice cream flavor. And the difference between geometry and geography is pretty obvious now, looking back.  But this is just gettin' lame!  Why the heck is there homework every day? Who invented midterms? And how do any of you guys have time for video games after going through all of this junk?!

You're all with me on this, right? I did fine teaching myself before; is there like someone I can talk to to get outta class?  I'm pretty much set for life schoolwise already.  I before t except after g, triangles have 360 angles, blahblah, see?

[action, high school]
[Beast Boy is so over this school thing.  The next day, instead of a skinny green boy sitting in his desk, there is a small, green cat curled up on top, taking a nap.  This persists in every class apart from lunch and gym.]  

[action, makeout point]
[Sometime after Valentine's Day, Beast Boy flutters up to the top of the mountain and transforms back into his usual self, sitting with his legs dangling off the side of the cliff.  There is a dreamy expression in his eyes and he sighs deeply as he flops backwards.  ...He changes his mind half a second later and sits back up, leaning over to scream down into the town far below.]

I've got a girlfrieeeeeend!!!!

[Oh, yeah.  Felt good.]

Comments

[spinningorange]

Just about, yes. It might be different kinds, like divine power or enchanted items, but it's all special powers! You might not be in too much danger if you go there; I don't think they know of that giant monster you were when I first saw you!

She shouldn't be too hard to find; she's a red and white shrine maiden who's really lazy.

[thebeastwithout]

Guess my powers are pretty sweet, too, huh?

[Ah, flattery. Beast Boy perks right up.]

It's called a T. rex if you wanted to know. Pretty much the coolest animal ever. ...So yeah! Reimu's red, white, and lazy. How lazy're we talking?

[spinningorange]

Lazy enough that other people have to tell her to do her job, like my master, Yukari-sama! Or even the judge of hell, the Yama.

(But enough about Reimu, she's interested in this dinosaur!)

These "Tea Wrecks" must be truly fearsome! Can I see it again?

[thebeastwithout]

Hey, if you ask like that, you can see it whenever you like!

[Fwoomp. The boy with his legs hanging over the side of the cliff is now a... T. Rex crashing down the side of the cliff as the ledge breaks underneath his weight.

Whoops.]

[spinningorange]

(Oh...that can't be good. Chen's much too weak to be able to help him back up, but there is a T. Rex now! There is also applause and innocent giggling.)

Even the ground can't withstand your power! Incredible!

[thebeastwithout]

[Sadness. Beast Boy bounces down the cliff for a few moments before a green raven flaps up with a few lumps on its head and caws in irritation.

Beast Boy lands in a heap back up top.]

Maaaan....

[spinningorange]

(Chen should probably be more concerned about those injuries, but alas...)

See? Flying is useful! And so are tea wrecks with their mountain leveling strength!

[thebeastwithout]

Yeah, flying's great.

[Beast Boy's eyes continue to go around in a spiral for a few seconds before he shakes it off.]

How do you do it, anyway? It's not like you have wings or anything.

[spinningorange]

(Cartoon physics and facial expressions are awesome, man.)

Nope, but I have magic! Everyone in Gensokyo can fly!

(Stated so matter-of-fact-like, one can imagine her in front of a classroom with a graduate's hat.)

[thebeastwithout]

...Everyone?

[spinningorange]

Everyone. Except the regular humans, of course.

[thebeastwithout]

...What about babies?

[spinningorange]

(She's thinking about it. Give her a moment...)

Well...maybe not babies, but I haven't seen any! The youkai and humans I've met are all mature enough to fly and use danmaku.

[thebeastwithout]

((Sorry for being so late! I went on hiatus for a few days that I should have expected I'd needed to take. Feel free to continue or not at your convenience!))

No babies? So wait, how old are you? 10?

[spinningorange]

((But Beast Boy is so fun! I can't say no to Beast Boy!))

Something like that. If there are babies, then maybe it's for the best no one knows about them; if one youkai does, then they all know.

[thebeastwithout]

((Aw, thanks!))

...

You're not saying you eat babies, are you, dude?

[spinningorange]

No! I don't eat humans; I'm a cat!

But youkai usually eat people. Not all of them, but enough of them do.

[thebeastwithout]

Uh... huh.

This green color means I'm poisonous by the way. Just, you know. In case you were wondering.

[spinningorange]

But you can turn into a tea wrecks! You could eat me if you wanted to...

[thebeastwithout]

...Haha, you're probably right. Cats don't taste that great, though. And I'm a vegetarian, anyway.

[spinningorange]

Yeah, we taste bad! I think...

Those are the kind of people that don't eat meat, right? Does that mean you don't eat fish, either?

[thebeastwithout]

Nope. No meat. I've been all of those animals, dude.

[spinningorange]

So you must already know about tofu. Ran-sama cooks tofu a lot and taught me some of what she knows!

[thebeastwithout]

Someone else knows about tofu here?!

[sob]

[spinningorange]

Of course! It's a popular Japanese ingredient and since Gensokyo is a lot like Japan, everyone there knows about it!

(Maybe if you ask her nicely, she'll cook tofu for you, BB.)