4th Gumball - Phone/Action

[connedviakeyboard]

[Well, someone isn't happy now that he's back to normal and away from the effects mint has on him. To say he was embarrassed would be putting it lightly; Benson was out and out ashamed. And he dealt with shame the way he dealt with everything else: by being angry as hell and trying to bottle it up.

Either way? He owed some apologies to people.]

[Phone]

...Look. I know that there were a few people I might've been...uncouth towards, a few days ago. Okay. I guess that's putting it lightly. I was acting like an asshole. And I'm sorry. That's not what I'm usually like. It really, really isn't, and I don't know what came over me. It won't happen again.

[Phone - Filtered to Mordecai]

Yeah, hi.

Let's pretend Valentine's Day didn't happen, alright?

[Action - Outside 507 Ricardo Street]

[If you're going by Ricardo Street today, feel free to notice the man who lives at 507 removing every single potted plant he could find in the house, hell, everything that could conceivably be called vegetable matter, and placing it on the sidewalk. Watch in amazement as he takes out a lighter and proceeds to try and get the plants to catch flame, running back a bit when the fire actually gets started.

He's just going to wait, and watch, as every plant that had previously been in his house burns.]

Comments

[thegoddamnhedgehog]

Exactly. It's a day that excuses---no, no, no, celebrates---the fact that you were too busy acting like a goddamn idiot to have gotten anything productive done.

[connedviakeyboard]

And it's not even worth anything, in the end? I mean, what does it net you at all? You can try and try and try and you'll only even manage to get something if you're lucky. In the end, you just end up more annoyed and angry than you were earlier.

[misterunsmiley]

In the end, it's pointless. It hardly matters in the grand scheme of things.

See---see, Benson, you understand. [He raises his finger to articulate, and it wobbles unsteadily in the air.] You get it. Hell, if everyone else in this town were at least half as smart as you and I...? There'd be no stopping us.

[connedviakeyboard]

Eh. Eeeeeeeh. Okay. Okay see yes. Yes it'd help but sometimes-sometimes you just have to deal with it. Just have to-to accept that not everyone DOES get how things are. Sad but true, my friend. Sad but true.

[thegoddamnhedgehog]

The truth hurts. [He chuckles to himself.] To borrow one of your human expressions.

[connedviakeyboard]

Oh? Oh, I'm not human. Well, kinda. I'm humanoid.

[thegoddamnhedgehog]

No kidding. You're---You're not human.

[connedviakeyboard]

Oh, no. Well.

Well....I'm a-I'm a gumball machine.

[And had been one for all his life. But for some reason, saying it out loud, and doing so here? Makes it seem like that should be odd.]

[thegoddamnhedgehog]

...Huh.

[His mouth hangs open slightly. A gumball machine.

He almost thinks Benson's joking, but doesn't laugh. Maybe it's because he's personally had enough of people asking what the hell he is every time he pops in somewhere. Maybe it's because in all Shadow's ludicrous exploits, he's heard of much stranger things. Or maybe it's because he's way too drunk to process this revelation properly.

But regardless, Shadow replies:]

I see.

[connedviakeyboard]

[Benson had always bounced between thinking whatever he was was weird, and at other times wasn't. He had never seen anything else like him in his world before, aside from his parents, and it was something that always struck him as odd. Like there was something off about everything, even though he wasn't treated any more differently in his world than any other person. Like a weird discrepancy that should have righted itself in some way, and didn't.]

...Yeah.

...Are there a lot of...hedgehogs like you, back home?

[thegoddamnhedgehog]

I know a few. But they're not like me. None of them come close to---

[He stops. That's not entirely true.]

Well. One does. Though he still manages to be a nuisance.

[connedviakeyboard]

Yeah? Friend of yours, or just some jerk that shows up?

[thegoddamnhedgehog]

More of the latter than the former. He's arrogant. Childish. Obnoxious. And we don't always see eye-to-eye.

...Nonetheless, he's proven to be a worthy rival.

[connedviakeyboard]

Rival, huh? Never had one of those. Just idiot slackers I've know.

...Guess I had a rival once. Kinda.

[thegoddamnhedgehog]

Is that right?

[connedviakeyboard]

Yeah. Rival is probably too grand a term, because she was really just there to replace me.

And then she went insane and ended up making everyone working at the park a clone of her until we blew her up.

[thegoddamnhedgehog]

...Really.

[A wide smirk. This story's way more amusing when drunk.]

That's one way to solve your problems.

[connedviakeyboard]

[Benson pauses for a moment. And then allows himself a small laugh.]

Yeah. I've found that out working at the park, I'll admit that.

Sometime I'll tell you about the unicorns.

[thegoddamnhedgehog]

Unicorns?

[Man, Benson, everything you say is a riot tonight.]

Perhaps after that, we can discuss the aliens.

[connedviakeyboard]

[Benson looks to the side a moment, lost in thought. He isn't sure why you're so surprised: unicorns are common place and ill-tempered where Benson is from. But he guesses that just isn't so everywhere.]

...Y'know? Don't think I've ever met aliens myself.

Won't be surprised when I do, though.

[thegoddamnhedgehog]

I would introduce you to the ones I knew... That is, I would if they were still alive.

[Yeahhhh drunk Shadow is kinda scary.]

[connedviakeyboard]

[To be fair, Benson is kind of intimidated by you when you're sober, Shadow. That, however, just sounded ominous as hell.

But drunk? Yeah, his curiosity is taking over.]

....So.

What happened to them?

[thegoddamnhedgehog]

I blew them up.

[To put it simply.]

[connedviakeyboard]

Heh.

Like we said. One way to take care of a problem.

[thegoddamnhedgehog]

Ha.

[Finally polishing off that beer that he'd started a little while ago.]

Are you...? [He winces, ears flattening against his head for a moment. Shadow's more than a little out of it.] Did you want another...?

[God, no. Please say no.]