Riddle 040: A Little Less Conversation...

[questionauthority]

[At some point on this seemingly ordinary Thursday afternoon, a conversation between two older men can be heard over Mayfield’s phone lines. No, it isn’t Jack Smith or the Mayor. But who could these men possibly be...?]

-- I do NOT have cobwebs--

Well, from the sound of it, you certainly don’t anymore.

I have no idea where you’re getting such horrible lies from, Nigma, if you haven’t just thought them up yourself, but they’re just that. Lies.

He actually defended you, you know. Do you mean to tell me that all those lovely things he had to say about you were lies?

And you’re just going to automatically believe-- No, of course, of course you’re going to trust the word of a textbook narcissist over mine; it’s like talking at a mirror for you two, isn’t it?

What’s the matter, Jonathan? Can’t handle it when I rustle your feathers? You had no problem rustling his.

... I am hanging up the phone, Edward. I will never be picking it up again.

I’m sure you won’t. Wait. Hang on a second. [A dramatic pause.] ...Oh dear.

... [Why is he letting his curiosity get the better of him?] What?

Well, it appears as though---in my haste to check up on you, of course---I neglected to filter the call. Must have slipped my mind.

[As good an actor as Eddie may be, there’s no hiding that shit-eating grin that’s just crept onto his face.]

... I am going to fill your veins with so much fear toxin you will never have a coherent thought ever again.

Comments

[questionauthority]

Have you been listening on one of the other phones this entire time? It's impolite to eavesdrop.

[Says the guy who just broadcasted this to the entire town.]

[strike_you_out]

[His rebuttal?]

Accident.

[questionauthority]

[Touché.]

...Well. Accidents happen.

[strike_you_out]

Like accidental public phone calls?

[questionauthority]

I suppose.

[strike_you_out]

So.

Are you going to explain? [Because wtf is going on.]

[questionauthority]

Perhaps when you're a little older.

[Which basically means "No."]

[strike_you_out]

[Which basically means he doesn't want to know anyway. Luckily, that part of the conversation isn't what he's interested in.]

Can you explain 'fear toxin'?

[Phone] => [Action]

[questionauthority]

...Of course.

[He hangs up the phone, makes his way to the spot in the house where Slugger's been listening in.]

What about it do you wish to know?

[Phone] => [Action]

[strike_you_out]

[Slugger finishes hanging up the phone when Edward appears.]

Everything. What is it?

[questionauthority]

His witch's brew, as it were.

[He's sardonic at first, but Slugger takes fear quite seriously so the tone drops after a moment.]

As I'm sure I've told you before, Dr. Crane is a man quite heavily obsessed with fear. He makes use of a specific set of chemicals that have been concocted for the sole purpose of drawing out one's inner demons.

[strike_you_out]

[Awesome.]

It makes you see things?

[questionauthority]

Correct. Of course, the hallucinations are bound to vary by victim.

[strike_you_out]

And now he wants to use it on you.

[Great. He hopes you know he's not hitting you again, Edward. Three times should be enough.]

[questionauthority]

[Ye of little faith, Slugger.]

That won't be happening; I can assure you of that. The only form of torture I'll find myself subjected to is living in this damned town with him.

[strike_you_out]

I thought you two were friends...

[questionauthority]

Perhaps we could be, assuming the old crone ever gets over himself.

[strike_you_out]

[So, the two of you are basically the same. Got it.]

You really don't think he'll try anything?