Riddle 040: A Little Less Conversation...

[questionauthority]

[At some point on this seemingly ordinary Thursday afternoon, a conversation between two older men can be heard over Mayfield’s phone lines. No, it isn’t Jack Smith or the Mayor. But who could these men possibly be...?]

-- I do NOT have cobwebs--

Well, from the sound of it, you certainly don’t anymore.

I have no idea where you’re getting such horrible lies from, Nigma, if you haven’t just thought them up yourself, but they’re just that. Lies.

He actually defended you, you know. Do you mean to tell me that all those lovely things he had to say about you were lies?

And you’re just going to automatically believe-- No, of course, of course you’re going to trust the word of a textbook narcissist over mine; it’s like talking at a mirror for you two, isn’t it?

What’s the matter, Jonathan? Can’t handle it when I rustle your feathers? You had no problem rustling his.

... I am hanging up the phone, Edward. I will never be picking it up again.

I’m sure you won’t. Wait. Hang on a second. [A dramatic pause.] ...Oh dear.

... [Why is he letting his curiosity get the better of him?] What?

Well, it appears as though---in my haste to check up on you, of course---I neglected to filter the call. Must have slipped my mind.

[As good an actor as Eddie may be, there’s no hiding that shit-eating grin that’s just crept onto his face.]

... I am going to fill your veins with so much fear toxin you will never have a coherent thought ever again.

Comments

[buildstherobots]

Edward what the hell is wrong with you?!

[fasterthan]

...you know what? I really, really don't want to know.

[questionauthority]

Dist! We were just talking about you.

[questionauthority]

Wally. So terribly sorry. This conversation should have remained private.

[And yet it didn't. Ain't he a stinker?]

[phobophobia]

I am going to kill the both of you.

Just so you're aware.

[phobophobia]

You can all stop listening at any. time.

[fasterthan]

Yeah. I caught that. Nice job.

[buildstherobots]

Well I can hear that! Why'd you have to call him at all?!

[buildstherobots]

Kill him, not me!

[fasterthan]

I think I'm about to. Thanks.

phone;

[subzero]

Do you mind not clogging up the phone lines with your chatter?

[phobophobia]

You told him.

You need to learn how to keep your mouth shut.

[questionauthority]

We're friends, aren't we? What sort of friend do you think I would be if I paid him no mind?

[inthebones]

Edward, stop hate-flirting with him and just go sniff more of those flowers.

[questionauthority]

What's that supposed to mean? You think I meant for this to happen?

[questionauthority]

My apologies, Victor. Though I suppose, had the news reached Harley first, you would have heard about this sooner.

[fasterthan]

Considering how you're sounding kind of ridiculously pleased with yourself? Yeah. I'd say you probably did.

[questionauthority]

[Oh god, everyone can hear this conversation except for her.]

Get off the phone, Susan! This is a private conversation.

[Except it really isn't.]

[buildstherobots]

I didn't mean to, dammit! It was an accident!

[buildstherobots]

The kind who doesn't snoop!

[inthebones]

But you were so eager to have everyone overhear. Is this a public declaration of some sort?

[subzero]

I don't care. Keep it off the phones.

[questionauthority]

Have you forgotten who you're talking to? I'm me.

[questionauthority]

I can't say I know what you're talking about.

[phobophobia]

... If you forget this ever happened, I'll condition Edward into feeling nauseous every time he even thinks of using an ice or snow-related pun.

[he's very serious about this]