freestyle rap-off: first verse

[wheremakingthishapen]

|action|

[Dave wakes from what feels like a particularly refreshing nap, the first one he's had in days... which surprises him, because they're usually filled with horrible monsters his sister would describe as eldrish? eelrelish? Some obscure five-dollar word she's always using in her conversations with him. Whatever the case, it's the first indication that he's not where he's supposed to be, which was on a meteor rocketting through the Furthest Ring at nearly the speed of light. The second is the fact that he's actually on a bed, and a comfy one at that, not a pile of disturbingly decapitated plush dragons. Instinctivelly, he reaches out for his shades... but they're nowhere to be found. That's the last straw, he thinks to himself; paradox space has fucked with me for the last time. He hops out of bed and throws open the curtains, flooding the unfamiliar room with light. Pictures of individuals he's never met line the walls, their poses indicating that they've known each other for quite some time.

Maybe one of his friends is around somewhere, one of the smarter ones that seem to be blessed with knowledge a cool kid like him is insultingly denied almost all the time. He makes his way down the hallway - how does he know his way around the house already? - and finds the phone. Somehow he knows what to do; he guesses it could be some more time shenanigans (isn't it always), but in the back of his mind he's pretty sure it's something worse.]

|phone|

Uh, hey. Rose, you out there? John? Jade? Karkat? Terezi? Hell, I'll even take the murder troll and the glowy one whose name I can't remember right now, no offense. Um, what the hell happened? Is this the new session already? It doesn't feel like it. Plus I can't find my circus pjs; don't get me wrong, they were goofy as shit, but I'm starting to miss them. It's like they were my captor and I've got Stockholm Syndrome for them: "Oh man I should make fun of you because you look like shitty cosplay but for some reason I want you all over my body like two people getting their grinds on". Except not that graphic 'cuz doing it with clothes is probably illegal here.

Anyway get back to me. Later.

Comments

phone

[foretaste]

[he doesn't seem to remember a thing! Terezi's vascular organ drops through her digestion sac a little, but that's okay. at least he's back and not a drone.]

Don't worry, you are still on the top tier of cool kids! And... no, this isn't the new session. It is another universe, but not the one we asked for.

Re: phone

[wheremakingthishapen]

Well that sucks, I guess. Oh well, what's one universe versus another, right? I mean, from the looks of this place being the opposite of ravaged by a crazy one-armed flying dog man, I'd say Jack isn't a problem anymore, so whatever. Maybe we can hijack some big apartment somewhere and get our hanging out on.

[foretaste]

I would love to get the mass hangouts on! Buuuut you probably have a new hive already. Er, I mean 'house'! The human term is 'house'.

[wheremakingthishapen]

I guess. It's a bit creepy seeing all these photos of people I don't recognize, though; whatever this universe is, it seems to think me, some green-haired chick, and this other dude are a family. Can't hurt to get to know them but i'd be down for absconding from my new crib every so often, at least.

[foretaste]

Yeah, that happens! Sometimes you get stuck with some pretty shitty people, sometimes not. Sounds like you're in a different house than... well, um, last time. Has anyone told you that you've been here before?

[wheremakingthishapen]

Pretty much everyone I've talked to, yeah. I don't remember jack shit of any of this, though, so I keep thinking it might have been one of the doomed Daves. How about you lend me some of those Mind powers of yours and spoiler the fuck out of this mystery for me?

[foretaste]

I wish I could, but they're on, like, I dunno- Ultra-Lite mode here or something. Diet Mind powers! I can barely use them. This place-- if you're too powerful, it cuts you off a little bit. So I can't tell. But... I don't think any of us are doomed...

[wheremakingthishapen]

Oh hell at least you have something. I guess you're completely neutered when you first get in here so that you don't fly off the handle and start making paradoxes left and right.

[foretaste]

Yeah!

...Dave, what's 'neutered'?

[wheremakingthishapen]

It's where you can't make anymore grubjuice from your bulges or nooks or whatever due to someone forcibly removing your trollsauce organs. Basically the highers-up don't want any of your filthy genes clouding up the great bucket you all come from but they feel a little bad for you so they don't kill you, they just make the odds of you making little versions of yourself impossible.