1st Coffee

[mal_addict]

[A: Action; 915 Bilko Boulevard - morning (locked to housemates)]

[Once you’ve slept enough times in a tattered army tent, with nothing but the cold ground and a marginally annoying leak in the roof just where your head is supposed to lie, you are not used to waking up in comfort. In fact, Maladict had not woken up in comfort for quite some time, so that was the first thing to set alarm bells ringing before she even opened her eyes. The second thing was having a heartbeat. Now that definitely wasn’t normal.

The vampire-who-currently-wasn’t opened her eyes cautiously, taking in her surroundings. Right. Definitely not a tattered army tent. Maybe she was having some kind of Flashside replase? She scrunched up her nose, looking around at the suburban bliss that surrounded her]

“Wow. I didn’t think my own mind hated me this much. Learn something new every day.”

[B:Phone; afternoon (open to all)]

[Maladict sounds confident, despite being in a strange place and never having used a phone before in her life. At least years of being a vampire have given her a great superiority complex. Handy, in situations like this.]

So, as I sit here, staring out at my idyllic little garden, admiring this perfect little life I’ve been given, I wonder exactly which God I really hacked off to deserve this, unless Nuggan isn’t as dead as they say he is. I mean, who thinks this sort of thing is pleasant?

…Well, I’m sure there are people here who do but, hey, if you want to live your life in quiet, moronic bliss, go right ahead. Don’t let me stop you. Don’t forget to water your pansies.

Me? I’m putting on a pair of trousers and finding the nearest exit out of here. I don’t care what anyone says, there’s a way out of everything if you look hard enough.

[C; Action; around Mayfield - afternoon (open to all)]

[And, just like her word, Maladict is wandering around Mayfield in a pair of trousers that look suspiciously like a dress with the middle sewn together, looking for a way out. She looks pretty determined, too.]

Comments

[1_truth]

It's not a hallucination-not that you can believe that coming from someone you think is a hallucination but this place is a little too detailed to be a hallucination. Besides, there's too much you've never heard of-the brain doesn't like things to be imperfect so it stores things likes faces and names away that possibly come up again again while you're dreaming or hallucinating.

[mal_addict]

You clearly have never experienced a vampire Flashside. We can think up all kinds of stuff.

[But wait. She's not a vampire any more. Unless she dreamt that up too]

So, if this isn't a hallucination, and I'm not saying it isn't, where are we?

[1_truth]

Vampires don't exist where I'm from.

As for our location, Mayfield. A supposedly peaceful town in the 1950s somewhere in the USA.

[mal_addict]

What do you mean they don't exist? That's like saying werewolves don't exist.

...What's a USA?

[1_truth]

They don't.

Ah.. USA, or United States of America-it's very possible you've never hear of it before-I have no idea what it was like where you're from.

[mal_addict]

Nope, that's a new one. Where is it on the Disc?

[1_truth]

...

Disc?

[mal_addict]

The Discworld? Big flat world? On the back of four elephants who are on turn on the shell of a giant star turtle? Any of this ringing any bells?

[1_truth]

Uh... No. The only thing I think is that you're from the very distant past or a different world entirely. Where I'm from the world is round and revolves around the run.

[mal_addict]

[Maldict considers this]

How does a round world stay up in space? Or is it always falling?

[Because yes, that's the part she should be focusing on]

[1_truth]

The Gravitational pull of the sun constantly keeps the earth rotating. Besides, there's no gravity in space.

[mal_addict]

So...your sun keeps it up? [That doesn't make any sense] There aren't any turtles at all? Not even, say, a tortoise or perhaps a large terrapin?