mayfield_rpg | [001] The Sixty Billion Double Dollar Man

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[001] The Sixty Billion Double Dollar Man

[A: 1248 Williams (Closed to Housemates)]

[Vash would be the first person to say that many of his dreams involved waking up next to a beautiful woman (though sometimes this beautiful woman was made of doughnuts) and so for a long second when he opens his eyes, he thinks that's what this is. Wriggling a bit closer to the poor hapless Makoto, she'll surely appreciate his drool-mumbles... right?]

...'mnot... delicious jelly filling, and...

[Except this dream was just growing more realistic, and Vash was very suddenly aware of two things. The first of which was that he was IN BED WITH A STRANGE WOMAN, and the second of which was that HE WAS ONLY WEARING BOXER SHORTS! The peaceful slumbering air of the room is shattered by a piercing and girlish SCREAM as Vash leaps out of bed and takes the sheets with him, wrapping them around himself to hide his scarred torso... that isn't scarred, wtf Mayfield?!]

[B: Phone (Open to All)]

[Having had things explained a bit more, and after spending a few hours wondering if he'd finally lost his mind to hallucinations and madness, Vash finally decided the time was ripe to introduce himself to his fellow residents. If what had been said was true, and nobody here knew him, then he had a chance to make a good first impression. So the voice that comes over the line is deep and very deliberately manly, with an attempted hint at suave.]

Good afternoon, assorted men, children and, most importantly, beautiful women. The days have been dark here, the nights long and cold so far, and you have been in dire need of some brave soul to rectify all these wrongs.

A man of style. A man of extreme manliness. A man of...

[Wait, he doesn't have another descriptor. He fumbles for a second, before giving a manly cough to cover the awkward pause.]

And what do we call this man among men, this seeker of the elusive mayfly of love, I hear you cry? I am Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III.

[C: Bakery (Open to All)]

[They say an army marches on its stomach, and after giving his very impressive introduction, 'Valentinez' has decided that he most certainly deserves to put something in his. Following the inner glutton compass that pointed directly at sugary goodness, Vash has found his way to the bakery and all its tantalizing smells...

...before realising he has no money. Observe, if you will, the not-at-all-pathetic sight of a grown man with tears running down his cheeks as he presses his nose to the glass.]

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[well, that was a rather rude wake-up call! not that... Schierke recalls when, exactly, she'd fallen asleep last -- or what, precisely, lead her to suddenly be transported somewhere else she didn't recognize in the least! of course.

she's hurrying out of bed (the world feels so strange -- dull; she's cut off from the flow of Od? that makes no sense at all), almost tripping in her enthusiasm and the awkwardness of these unusual and foreign pajamas, before she's tentatively opening the door to her bedroom. you know, the bedroom she doesn't know is hers yet.

was that Farnese? no... it didn't sound like her scream. not Casca, either, and was far too loud for Ivalera's. not Isidro's, either. so who--?

she's still peering out, her heart fluttering. something had happened. was it because of the Sea God's destruction? or...

she's waiting for any sounds or signs of people in the hall before she can bring herself to creep out while feeling so oddly cut off from magic and the spiritual realm entirely.]

[Stumbling out of the main bedroom door, still wrapped in his protective sheet, Vash can't help but notice the little pair of eyes watching him from the next door down.

A-Ah.

He's unsure what's going on and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't afraid himself, but he would push all that down for the sake of a pair of lost eyes like that. Flopping against the wall next to the door, and sinking down to sit, he tilted his head to look a that nervous eye with a little smile.]

Hey there! I'm a bit lost, I don't suppose you could help me, could you?

[a strange man?

the urge to shrink back is unbefitting of her, but -- she feels vulnerable without being able to so much as touch what had -always- been there. no matter how hard she tries... she's totally cut off from the flow of Od. it shouldn't even be possible...]

[--but he might not know that, even if he was part of who -- or what -- was responsible for the current situation. so... she lifts her chin a bit, trying to put a little bravado into her expression. like she's about to lecture him for ill manners or the like.]

Are you the one responsible for this? I want to be returned to my companions at once!

[There's a slow burn of anger at those words - not at her, not at all, but that someone could have kidnapped a child. He didn't so much care about himself, but she was undoubtedly innocent in all this.]

No, I didn't bring you here.

[He stays where he is so as not to spook her, voice and smile gentle. She's so tiny, poor thing.]

Did you just wake up here too?

[that expression on his face -- it was brief, in his eyes, but... he wasn't very good at hiding it. for a moment, she hesitates again. had she misread the situation? it was possible he wasn't part of the captors, and instead, another 'captive' -- hm, then...

she still isn't sure whether to trust him, so she'll refrain for now, and see what she can find out.]

...Y-- [a pause, then more firmly:] Yes. I did. [she is looking down a bit; what in the world is this nightgown?] And in these strange--

...clothes?

[ummmmmmm maybe going a little pink and flustered and awkward in the face as she realizes he's merely draped in some sheet or something and she can see skin underneath it. what is even WHAT IS EVEN]

[NOOO, DON'T LOOK AT HIS SKIN! He hasn't noticed her embarrassment yet, still trying to reassure her that he could help and protect her from whatever was going on.]

I just woke up here too, so maybe we could look for your companions together?

[He flashes her a cheesy thumbs up, oh yeaaaah.]

[lakjsdf this man is very embarrassing...

she is still red in the face, staring at him -- hm... before giving a reluctant nod. if he was just a hapless victim, there might be a better chance of finding her friends if they stuck together (and it's not like she's just feeling exposed or anything without magic).]

...Very well.

Did you see anyone else in this place?

[He is not embarrassing, he is SUAVE and AMAZING... get it right. He draws himself up a bit more against the wall, nodding with a suddenly distressed expression.]

There's a very mean girl downstairs... she tried to hit me.

[embarrassing FOREVER

...oh. well, he certainly doesn't seem like a menacing apostle in hiding or some sort of astral being... does he? especially not with a look like that, and now she's looking a little less tentative as she creaks the door further open.]

A very mean... girl?

The meanest!

[Oh God, he's turning eyes filled with the most tragic woe in her direction, shrinking into himself as if even the memory of their interaction had scarred him.]

She didn't think I was charming at all! She tried to hit me and shouted, don't you think that was too cruel? She made me cry.

[this man... surely can't be responsible for something of this magnitude, can he? he fits the role of a rather pathetic captive far better...........]

She most likely tried to hit you because she thought you were the one who kidnapped us, sir. [reasoned at by a ten year old can you stand your life yet...] She must be frightened... [maybe that was her screaming Schierke heard?]

[He shakes his head pathetically, giving her the biggest puppy eyes known to mankind.]

I was just being my usual charming self, and she started being unnecessarily violent. It really hurt my feelings.

['usual charming self' he says... it is so clear she's judging him

so hard

right now by the look in her eyes, but her expression remains (mostly) politely neutral (except she can't really hide that vague skepticism...)]

As I said, she must be frightened, sir. Maybe we should go and find her? [clearly she has to take responsibility...!!!]

[Alas, he is more than used to being judged and so that expression rolls off him, like water off a duck's back.

He's pleased to see she's concerned about the others in the house (even the demon girl downstairs), but she's still so little and lost.]

If you're sure you think that's a good idea, then I have no choice but to accompany you as your loyal bodyguard!

[bodyguard who ran in fear from an angry little girl? okrite more judging...]

...Yes, that is suitable. Until I find my companions, it will be best to stay together.

[she won't admit she lost her magic JUST IN CASE and this is a plausible excuse to stay close in case there's trouble...

then there's a tentative pause, before she ducks her head in a polite little bob.]

My name is Schierke.

[Oh God, she's the cutest thing he's ever seen. His heart melts just a little bit at that polite bob, giving her a bright smile in return.]

I'm glad you agree, Miss Schierke! I'll be the best bodyguard that you ever would wish for, you can trust Valentinez!

V... Valentinez? [a strange name! but she accepts it with another nod, this one more decisive. she won't let any harm come to any of these people! and she will get her magic back.]

Very well, Mr. Valentinez. Please be careful.

[He turns a bit more against the wall to hold out hand towards her to shake, silently goading her to trust him. He can protect her either way, but it would be easier if she stuck close to him.]

Aye, aye~!

[she looks at that hand for a moment, before hesitantly -- stopping once along the way -- reaching out for it. (what is a handshake she thinks he just wants to hold it for some reason...)]

Do you know where we are?

[When she just takes it instead of shaking, he will settle for that and squeezes it reassuringly. He might even be blushing a little bit with stars in his eyes, because it's just SO CUTE.]

Not exactly, there was a nicer lady in the big bedroom who told me a little bit, but I've never been here before.

Does this house belong to her? [alksjdf why is he blushing

also why is he in a sheet

these are distressing developments, but she keeps them to herself....]

[He's forgotten he's in a sheet... he will remember when he gets up to walk.

He doesn't want to tell her all that his... that lady had told him, he doesn't want to scare her. But at the same time, she deserves to know something.]

She said the house belongs to the people that own this town, but she's lived here for a while.

[lived here for a while? then...]

She and anyone else in this house have no right to hold us! And to do such... strange things. [somehow cut her off from 'Od' and steal their clothes -- she prays that they haven't been ruined or destroyed... ;(]

What reason did she give for all this?

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