11 - Fresh Buttered Destruction

[doofenstrudel]

[Phone]

They said we get to destroy this place, didn't they? Yes! Yes they did! EXCELLENT! The the lot of you, you are going to help me! And it will be fun! And delicious. Be on the alert! Have your butter and your jam and your various other condiments and toppings at the ready! THERE WILL BE BREAD.

[Action A - 457 Stone Street]

[Mad science does not have to make a lot of sense or be particularly explicable. It just has to be MAD and INTERESTING. And Doofenshmirtz certainly thought that his Bread-Inator was both. It was also the only fully-constructed Inator he had at his disposal. It only took about an hour of effort to rig up a seat atop it, and to rewire the aiming mechanisms to be accessible from up there. It took him another ten minutes to find his goggles. And then he was right to work, taking aim at objects all over Mayfield and blasting them with an improbable ray. All the while, he's cackling and muttering and just plain grinning from ear to ear. This is some SERIOUS evil here, oh yes.]

[Action B - Around Mayfield]

[Maybe you're leaving your home. Maybe you're heading down the street. Maybe you're blowing something up, as seems to be the exciting thing to do today. But suddenly a blast of light will arc down from in the distance, and hit something near you! And then there will be overpowering smell of fresh, warm bread.

That's what a Bread-Inator does. It turns things into bread. Lamp posts into baguettes. Houses into fluffy loaves of white bread. Playground equipment into rolls fresh from the oven. Eat up, Mayfield.]

Comments

A

[thegreatsaiyaman]

[Gohan just quietly watches his not!Father build his mad invention.]

Uh...dad? What exactly is that thing?

A

[doofenstrudel]

This? This is my Bread-Inator!

[He pulls the goggles down over his eyes, and flips several switches. There's loud, low-pitched hum as the components warm themselves up.]

Re: A

[thegreatsaiyaman]

A Bread-Inator? What's that do? Make freshly baked bread for people? That sounds pretty cool, honestly.

[doofenstrudel]

It's something like that, yes!

[He adjusts the Inator's sights, pointing it towards a nearby lamp post.]

The bread, it will certainly be fresh!

B

[nozomisitter]

[Watches. Just... watches. And she slowly facepalms.]

[And she was getting really really hungry too.]

Having fun Mr. Doofenshmirtz?

B

[doofenstrudel]

But of course!

[He grins brightly, waving down from his perch atop the very, very large device.]

I have been given permission to do this! Which alright, is not particularly evil, but I am sure that this is not the sort of distraction that they were expecting!

Re: B

[nozomisitter]

You have a point. So, does the bread just remain bread or does it turn back after a while?

Phone

[afterthesky]

Bread?

[That's... really all she can manage]

Phone

[doofenstrudel]

Bread!

Really. Is there a problem with the line?

Re: Phone

[afterthesky]

It wasn't quite what I was expecting anyone to bring up right now.

[a_crazygirl]

[What have you done this time, husband. :|]

Did you just... turn the neighbor's car into bread?

[doofenstrudel]

[Is this better or worse than the Bald-Inator?]

Yes!

Yes I did!

Go try a bite, will you?

[a_crazygirl]

[The verdict is still out on that one.]

Um...

[Oh so very tentatively, Toni reaches out and pulls a chunk of mailbox off. Even more tentatively, she takes a nibble.]

...Hey! Sourdough!

Action B

[jaws5sonofjaws]

[Mart was gnawing on a mailbox when BAM!

It tasted way better than before and was much more fluffy.]

The hell?

Action B

[doofenstrudel]

[One could not zap things and turn them into bread all day! The machine needed to occasionally cool down. So Doof was taking a stroll to survey his handiwork. So yup, there was Mart, chowing down on something much less hard and metallic.]

Ah! Enjoying my efforts as usual, I see!

[jaws5sonofjaws]

[Mart'll walk up to the Doc, breadified mailbox in hand and maw.]

Good stuff Doof!

If only I had some butter...

action B

[licentious]

[ The breadinator?

Lust will just start slicing the bread into tiny, consumable by a single human being, pieces.

This is by far the strangest thing she's ever, ever seen from Mayfield. ]

action B

[doofenstrudel]

[During one of the necessary cooling periods for the device, Doof was taking a walk to admire his work from a lower vantage point. And well, well, well! Wasn't it the scary alchemy lady?]

Ah, you've seen my work. You like?

[licentious]

[ Lust looks to the bread once more and takes a swipe before eating it. Right in front of him. She then turns to him with a perfectly flat line face. ]

Congratulations. You solved world hunger. [ This is the most unevil thing any evil person could ever do ever. ]

Action B

[hardhat_truckie]

[Oh whoops. Your bread is being ripped into pieces by bullets. There's a mini sentry planted right there, and it's happily destroying whatever that's been bread-ified.

Engie himself is firing bullets with his shotgun at anything and everything he sees. Remember that dark side of Engie that you glimpsed during December Doc? You're getting a full-blown view of that right now.]

Action B

[doofenstrudel]

[Doof had been on a walk to see his bread from a different vantage point and to let the Inator cool a bit, but he stopped short when he saw Engie at work.]

...oh. Croutons!

[Ones that likely would taste of gunpowder. Slowly, he shuffled backwards, thinking it might be good to not get too close to this.]

Re: Action B

[hardhat_truckie]

[You think? Engie's got the Gunslinger going, and he's ripping bread to shreds. That car you just turned into bread? Just got utterly decimated but a rotating robot hand of doom.

What might be even more disturbing is that evil laugh that's coming out of Engie. It goes something like this.]

B

[myblimpisbigger]

I am not impressed.

[How dare you turn his beautiful (if a bit tiny) Castle Wulfenbach into a giant floating baguette? He's not even French!]

B

[doofenstrudel]

Eh? What? You don't care for bread?

[Blimp? Had he hit a blimp? Really? Okay, maybe a few of his shots had gone wide and possibly hit other things...]

B

[myblimpisbigger]

No, I simply have other things I need to deal with at the moment.

[Doof might notice that Klaus's right arm seems to be missing.]

Not to mention that I am rather fond of my castle and given that I've already been insulted by having it downsized, I'd like to see it at least remain the way it was on the original blueprints.

Sans crust.