1 ☣ Costs an arm (and a leg!)

[bridezilla]

[ Phone - No filter. ]

Guys. I have a couple of questions. One, what do you do when your arm smells really bad? [ Do you think she has a brain to mouth filter? ] Two, how do you prevent your drone parents from kissing? It's so gross!

[ Action A - Bunker 766 Street. ]

[ Did a drone version of Rudolf Ushiromiya really just fly out the window? Yep. He sure did. Nena appears by the window, glaring and yelling down at the newly droned. ]

And stay out!

[ The drone just picks himself up and walks back into her home again, only to be punched out the wall in the living room which leaves a hole in the wall that's shaped exactly like him. ]

I said stay out! [ She's serious about this. Maybe you want to tell her to stop yelling? Or at least prevent the drone from going back inside again? ]

[ Action B - Your Street! ]

[ For some reason, there seems to be an awfully long wake of destruction down the side walk of your street. Street lights are toppled over, fire hydrants have exploded with gushing water everywhere, there's impact craters on the sidewalk, and, your mail box seems to have been personally smashed open. Continue to follow this path of your mysteriously destroyed street and you'll find Nena.

Unlike her normal brand of malice, this seems entirely accidental. Or maybe she lost it. You'll find her doing, what looks like, wrestling with an invisible squid. But, upon a closer inspection, it's really just her being forcibly misguided by her arm, which has rotting flesh just above her new metal replacement! Fantabulous! ]

Whoa!

[ Action C - General Store -> Anywhere! ]

[ There is a girl that's carrying ten bags of sugar with one arm. Why is she carrying all of that sugar with one arm?! Did she even pay for this?! ]

Comments

phone

[crimsonfatalism]

[She's....just gonna ignore the first question.]

Smack 'em. Or distract 'em. Send one out or something.

phone

[bridezilla]

I tried doing the first one but they ended up living through it and grounded me. [ Oh. Don't you love her totally casual tone when it comes to drone violence. ] But, for the second one, where do you send them out? To the store? To school? I want one drone to be gone as long as possible. Especially since they're actually brother and sister in real life that's not in Mayfield and shouldn't be kissing in the first place.

[crimsonfatalism]

[She doesn't seem to care either. Clearly this was a conversation meant to happen.]

The women seem to want to go to this fancy ass restaurant. Tell her the guy's taking her there, lead her into the basement to get her purse of some crap...then I guess lock her down there. Or try it with the guy and some cash or something.

...pleasant.

[bridezilla]

[ Drone love destiiiiinnnny. ]

Hehe! That's a great idea! I remember one time I tried locking them together, but they wouldn't stop kissing! [ She sounds surprised over this the result. ] I didn't know that locking one would make it stop.... [ Considering this fact, considering this fact... ]

[crimsonfatalism]

Well...whoever they were, they are convinced they're husband and wife. I think married couples typically do those kinda things.

Or just lock 'em in separate rooms. One in the attic, one in the basement.

[bridezilla]

Ew! Why are married couples so gross?! What else do these things do?! [ Yes she is quite serious... ]

I think I can get away with just locking one. Are they smart enough to operate locks?!

[crimsonfatalism]

[Mokou pauses. She's silent for a good 30 seconds. Before she bursts out laughing.] You don't know much about relationships do you?

[She doesn't wait for Nena to answer, though.] I'd think so. They're convinced its their house. Go heavy-duty on the locks.

phone;

[cueball]

[...]

I would think you wash it.

Unless something is wrong with it.

[Nena why.]

phone;

[bridezilla]

Well, I don't want my new robot arm to rust or anything. That wouldn't be too good for it or anything. [ Being Scratch is suffering. ] I don't think anything is wrong with it either. Sometimes it leaks their weird liquid, and sometimes the skin gets really crusty and fall off but that's only sometimes. [ Correction: Now being Scratch is suffering. ]

phone;

[cueball]

[...]

Huh.

Well.

I don't think that is a sign of good things.

[Can you see his pokerface through his voice?]

phone;

[bridezilla]

It isn't, but it shouldn't be too bad! It's not like my arm is going to fall off or anything!

[ She pauses. ] Scratch, you know everything. What are the chances that my arm can fall off?

phone; 1/2

[cueball]

[. . .]

Well.

phone;

[cueball]

I would say the chances are fairly good, given the problems you've mentioned.

I don't always give out medical advice you know. But when I do, it's always honest and legitimate.

Doc Scratch is the most interesting man in the world.

[bridezilla]

The chances are fairly good?! [ Her voice raises several octaves. ]

What should I do?! What should I do?! I don't want my arm to fall off?!

You better believe it.

[cueball]

What you've described leads me to believe it's rotting. You're going to lose it one way or the other at this rate.

[Action B]

[prideinbattle]

[There's always something interesting to see these days, and today is no exception. Hiling walks out the door and watches the destruction coming down the street. She's wearing clothes as she normally would, but makes no extra effort to hide her robot parts. It seems she wasn't the only one modified in such a way.]

Nena what are you doing?

[Action B]

[bridezilla]

[ Nena rolls to the side of the lawn, creating small impacts in the lawn. She stops in horror to just glance at Hiling and her new robotic body. ]

Hiling?! Is that you?! [ You look ugly! And metallic! And green! And like the people that killed my brothers! And human! And a bunch of other nonsensical adjectives! ]

[prideinbattle]

[It's a good thing Hiling doesn't care about the lawn. It's another thing entirely if she wrecks the car she had come out here to wash. She's had enough time to get used to her new body, as well as the reactions it tends to elicit from people.]

Of course it's me! Looks like you got the surgery too, or did you do that all on your own?

[bridezilla]

[ Nena picks herself up, except her hand is still submerged in the lawn so she just sits down with her hand anchored in front of her. She nods eagerly at the mention of surgery. ]

Hm. You look really different! But we both got surgery it seems. Do you like your new body? Or is weird like mine? [ She thinks that now she's metallic, there's more ways to kill her. Like water guns. Yep.

Oh. Nena. You are so misguided. ]

[prideinbattle]

[She looks down at her, but doesn't feel much like helping. She'll just get it stuck again anyway.]

It's better than a human body, that's for sure. [She doesn't feel pain, but she won't mention that. Best not to give her ideas.]

[bridezilla]

Well yeah, but doesn't your human body rot like how my arm rots? [ she's generally curious about this. ] You don't mix it with metal.

[phone]

[stages]

...you are unfamiliar with bathing?

[keep at least fifteen feet from saber at all times, stinky]

Oh god I've been looking for a way to tag you for ages huffpuff

[bridezilla]

Well, no, bathing would just make my new arm rust. I can't have that happen or else it'll become even more useless! [ She appreciates punching out all of the things, okay?

Nope. Come and smell her Saber. You'll never forget this experience. She smells like a dying animal with a bit of metal tossed in there. ]

flkas;jdf o-oh god now i'm gonna get self-conscious

[stages]

[...oh. okay on the one hand she's a little bit sympathetic to the HOW DO I DEAL WITH A NEW ARM thing because she... has one... too... and it's an Extremely Shitty Sword, not even a real arm

on the other hand, This Is Stupid]

...rusting does not occur so quickly, fool. By the time that would be a proper worry, all of this will likely be done with!

[and even if it isn't, at least you won't smell like a butt]

hhhh don't be don't be!!!! ;w; you're doing fine!!

[bridezilla]

[ Oh boy oh boy. Nena can't even open the oven without ripping off the over door and causing a safety hazard to the entire family! Does she count here for poor replacements for body parts?! .

This is not stupid!! This is Nena!!! ]

Don't call me a fool! I've been working around machinery for my entire life! I know it'll rust because this is a really really cheap type of metal. And because I already dipped my arm in the fountain by accident on the way home. [ Ignoring the fact that this is caused by rotting flesh and not bathing problems. Well, I'm sure rotting flesh from an infection could go under cleanliness but you get what I'm saying. ] That's why I'm planning to out wait this event with duct tape! [ She says the word duct tape like it's a genius invention centuries beyond Saber's time!

Excuse you, Nena smells like molding doritos and butts tyvm. ]