Dexter's Log Stardate 195X-005 : Carried Away By a 5:00 Shadow (Forward Dated to February 1st!)

[omlettedufromage]

[Action, around town]

[Dexter's feeling much better now that the meds have worn off. And now that he realizes that he has a full-fledged beard... well. There is only one proper way things can be described....thanks to Dexter's "improvements"...

]

Comments

[eternalfuture]

[...what.

No seriously. What.]

...um...

[omlettedufromage]

[Ah, yes, he knew it was just a matter of time before the ladies would be admiring his ruggedness]

Impressive, is it not?

[eternalfuture]

It's...certainly impressive. Yeeeeah.

[envyspites]

Uh...

[omlettedufromage]

Hm... seems everyone is stunned by the sheer power of my beard!

I guess my inner beard got so powerful, it grew outside too!

I feel like a man! a very young, 9-year old old man!

[envyspites]

...did they put you in the surgery room to give you that thing?

[beardonfire]

Hmph! We appear to have an amateur in our midst!

[Wait... could that be... BEARD ENVY? NO. NEVER. maybe a little.]

[omlettedufromage]

Amateur?!

Amateur?!

There is no way that this beard is the work of an amateur! Action Hank would never approve of an amateur's work!

(Dexter. Do not insult this man.)
[suddenly, Dexter looks around. He swear he heard someone talking to him that didn't sound like this man!]

W-who said that?!

[beardonfire]

My boy, that is not how you carry yourself with a beard! A beard is a window to a man's very soul! A beard commands respect not only from those who see it, but from the owner himself!

[...LeChuck what are you even on about.]

[silpheed]

[It's not often something disturbs or surprises Rachel MOTHERFUCKING Alucard to the point of gawking. But. Well. Here she is gawking.]

What on earth is that monstrosity?!

[omlettedufromage]

It is not a monstrosity! It is a beard of considerable magnitude!

[silpheed]

I am afraid you are horribly mistaken. That thing could be nothing other than ludicrous!

[worstvikingever]

[Hiccup is starting to develop complications from his surgery, namely, he's getting pretty shy and distrustful of people.

Apart from that, his entire right side is covered in shiny black scales, and he's got one large, leathery black wing that mostly stays still and folded on his back except for occasional twitching.

When he sees Dexter and his magnificent beard, he blinks and jumps back a little.]

Um... Dex...

[And then he clamps his mouth shut. He keeps forgetting not to talk, and there are consequences for talking.]

[omlettedufromage]

[Woah... Hiccup, you're looking kind of awesome. He does catch the wing twitch, and he's actually kind of curious]

Woah, now I feel slightly jealous. A beard is one thing, but dragon wings and scales?

(Tell him he is inferior for lacking the stubble.)

Why would I tell him that?!

[worstvikingever]

[Wait what. Hiccup retreats another step.]

What...

[no no no don't talk you might breathe fire again don't talk]

[frothymilk]

[Just.... staring... forever]

What the dickens?

[omlettedufromage]

Ah, Equius! You must not know much about human culture. Allow me to introduce you to the beard! It is a status symbol among men! It shows you are wise, strong, and Rugged. It is the embodiment of manliness and gusto!

(Yes, Dexter. Spread the word. Be the catalyst of the chin hairs.)

[frothymilk]

.....what?

[No really, what? None of that makes sense to him. Probably because he's not really listening, and is only staring in vague horror at the thing obscuring Dexter's face. Does he really think that's... attractive?]

It looks like there is a small, furry animal sitting on your face.

Laughing so hard right now

[shoulda_toined]

(Pulls out a boom box and plays "Battle Without Honor or Humanity" for Dexter as he struts by.)

[omlettedufromage]

[He was already hearing it in his head, now this makes it even better]

You read my mind, rabbit!

[shoulda_toined]

Glad ya like it, Kid Wid da Awesome Beard.

(And yes, Dexter can hear those caps, the beard is that impressive.)

[busy_fists]

...That's quite a beard you're sporting there, son.

[omlettedufromage]

I don't know where it came from really, but I'm lovin' it!

Must have been that weird place I woke up in...

[bridezilla]

[ Just... sort of staring at this weird sight. No, seriously, what is this?! ]

Uh, you have a giant orange raccoon hanging off your face. [ ....because that is seriously the only thing it can be. ]

[omlettedufromage]

What?

[Dexter shakes the beard relentlessly, trying to get whatever's living in it out.]

My beard is not a house for you to live in, stupid animal! Out out OUT!