Riddle 047: Identity Crisis

[questionauthority]

[ACTION: MAYFIELD HIGH SCHOOL

Wouldn't you know it? There are a few drone students whispering right in the middle of one of Edward Nashton's lectures. He continues with the lesson, undaunted, but their chatter doesn't escape his notice. In fact, he's almost entirely certain that he's the subject of their conversation. Why wouldn't he be?

He's no stranger to gossip. Few are, in a town like Mayfield. For as perfect a town as it may be, the people there are still bound to latch onto the imperfections. To the constant stream of rumors regarding a certain ethics teacher caught red-handed in a steamy affair.

What exactly happened all those months ago? Did he really leave Susan for someone else? How were their poor kids holding up through all of this...? All these questions. So many questions...

Enough is enough, Edward decides, as he decides to call out one of the rabblerousers in the back.]

Mr. Daniel. Would you care to share that with the rest of the class?

[A stunned silence from the distracted student in the back; he only seems to tense up even further as Edward strides away from the blackboard and towards his desk.]

No? I thought not. [As Edward draws nearer, he can't help but notice something sticking out from the pages of the student's textbook.] Ohh? What's this? You wouldn't happen to be hiding something, now, would you?

[He would. A quick swipe at the boy's textbook and Edward finds himself in the possession of a ratty old comic book.

Edward regards it for a moment before straightening up, fixing the student with a stern look.]

I'm going to have to confiscate this, thank you very much. Now then...

[The lecture continues until finally, class is dismissed.

Despite that, however, your teacher appears to have decided to stick around the classroom for a little while longer, even after school is out. Whether you're a student of Edward's that's also decided to stick around, a fellow faculty member, or a friend or close relation, you're bound to find Edward Nashton.

Alone. At his desk.

Flipping through the pages of Detective Comics #140.]

Comments

[inthebones]

Comic books.

[An ominous shadow falls over Edward as he reads at his desk. Not bat-shaped, but perhaps just as terrifying in light of the situation.]

I see your taste in reading material is nearly as shallow as your taste in women.

[Her tone is light, though her face is frosted over. The lightness of a diamond, all chilliness and edges.]

[questionauthority]

[Ah, yes. One of the many disadvantages of sharing the same workplace as your embittered ex-wife. He really should do something about that.

He gives her a curt greeting in return...]

Susan. [You know, oddly enough, that's almost true. When it comes to Edward's taste in reading material, he can't say a comic book would be his ideal first choice. And in regards to his taste in women... Well, neither was Susan.

Of course, since he's not stupid enough to say any of this at the risk of dying before he gets home from work this afternoon, he'll just toss the comic back down onto the desk, glaring up at her.]

You don't honestly think this is mine. It belonged to a student.

[inthebones]

Oh, I don't know about that. It's hard to honestly know anything about you for certain, apart from the self-evident.

[Susan allows him to work out what that might be.]

Certainly, given your physical attributes and your idea of what constitutes a... satisfying erotic experience... perhaps it was your youthful disposition that attracted Ms. Skye.

[questionauthority]

[Geez louise, is she on the warpath today or what?]

Is there any particular reason you've decided to stop by, Susan? Apart from the self-evident.

[inthebones]

[Susan coolly transitions into the purpose of the conversation without a hitch.]

I have a meeting with the superintendent of our school this afternoon to discuss certain affairs that need attending to.

[Despite how menacing she made it sound, it was to discuss the possibility of including field trips in the budget. She continues on, and though she keeps her tone nonchalant, her words are chosen carefully. It isn't often that she allows Edward free access into his former home.]

Someone needs to walk the boys home after school. I'll be back within two hours at the latest; have them start on their homework if you can. If you don't have any time to spare for your children, you can walk them to their grandfather's.

[questionauthority]

["Certain affairs." Would it kill Susan not to try and shoehorn those words into every single conversation they have these days...?

A pitiable sigh.]

I'll make the time.

[Of course, he did have plans once school let out, but who says they have to walk? It'll be a fast enough drive that he'll be able to get the kids started on their homework faster and he won't have to stick around his old neighborhood for too long.]

[inthebones]

I do apologizing for cutting into your limited time spent freely participating in whatever activities you may desire in your new home. Do try to keep the ones that occur in my home age-appropriate.

[strike_you_out]

[Heads up, Mr. Nashton! An errant baseball has just crashed through a window near the back of your classroom.]

[questionauthority]

[Edward drops the comic in a flash as he scrambles out of his seat, nearly tumbling to the ground in the process. But after a few seconds pass, it's apparent that there's no cause for alarm. It's just a baseball.

...A baseball that's just crashed through the window of his classroom. Damn it all, he storms to the back of the classroom and moves towards the window. Who's responsible for this?]

[strike_you_out]

[On the school lawn outside is none other than Edward's very own son with a baseball bat in his hands and a devilish grin on his face. But the look of amusement drops suddenly as he realizes whose classroom this is. Had it been anyone other than Edward, he'd bolt away merrily but since this happens to be his estranged father, Slugger can only stare from the schoolyard in awkward silence, frozen in place...]

[questionauthority]

[Edward catches himself before he can even shout out the window. It's Slugger.

Oh, dear. Yet another familiar face Edward supposes he should have expected to see today, yet one he doesn't entirely find himself prepared for all the same. It's a face he doesn't see quite as often anymore, mostly on the weekends and usually just at school on the weekdays.

He stares back down at the little boy with the baseball bat. Then he raises a hand, not to admonish him, but to try and urge Slugger to...]

Stay where you are.

[That shouldn't be too difficult for Slugger, right? The boy hasn't budged an inch.

In any case, Edward will disappear back into his classroom and reappear moments later outside, leaving the confines of the building and heading across the schoolyard to meet him.]

[strike_you_out]

[As expected, Slugger hasn't moved an inch when Edward arrives and looks only slightly more awkward. He suspects some kind of moderately severe punishment is in order. Dipping his head to hide further beneath his cap, Slugger swallows and grapples for something to say.]

Dad. I was... aiming for the window above. [It was sort of true. He wasn't really aiming for any window in particular. He just wanted to break something.]

[questionauthority]

Of course you were.

[The words aren't sarcastic so much as they are absent-minded. He was distracted enough this afternoon before having to deal with family matters.

He fishes out a cigarette from the box in his pocket and places it between his lips, lighting up before he continues to speak:]

Your mother is going to be a bit occupied this afternoon. I'll be driving you and Luke home.

[strike_you_out]

[Hesitantly, the bill of his cap is lifted just enough so that Slugger might peer cautiously up at Edward. Was he... really not going to be sharply reprimanded? It didn't seem as if Edward intended to which strikes him as odd.]

Okay. [Glancing once between Edward and the broken window, he begins to relax and straighten up with some uncertainty.]

...So what are you still doing here?

[commentboxtroll]

[Meanwhile, young Mr. Wilbur didn't exactly stay behind by choice. He's actually failed to wake up in time to slip out of the back of the class with everyone else, seeing as he'd been sleeping right through class. He's good enough to get away with it during class without actually seeming like he's asleep, head propped up on a hand, tilted just so it'll look like he's reading his notes or the textbook, but...

Now everyone else is gone.

Cover, blown.]

[questionauthority]

[Cover, blown indeed.

Edward slinks down the rows of desks with his cane at the ready. ...It is a rather odd-looking cane, isn't it? What with the shape of its handle and everything...

He waits a beat, then raps on the side of the desk with the bottom of his cane. Rise and shine, Caesar.]

[commentboxtroll]

[WELL now he's awake.

Rude, man. Real rude.]

What?! [Even being startled awake like that, one look at the empty row of desks in front of him catches him up to his dilemma immediately.] ...oops... oh, hey, looks like I'd better get moving!

[He quickly puts on a grin while ever so casually reaching for his bookbag.]

[questionauthority]

You had better.

[Edward frowns, turning to march back to his desk.]

Try not to let this happen again, Mr. Wilbur.

[commentboxtroll]

Yeah, yeah...

And it's Silverberg.

[With how important his real family's surname is, it's second nature to make the correction. It doesn't even seem weird to say that to him, even though he has no idea where the urge to say that came from. Caesar's halfway up out of his seat when the thought finally does catch him up as strange.

He stumbles, almost overturning the desk as he steadies himself, though his chair ends up being knocked over in the process.]

[cosmicbond]

[Gentarou, sans his noticeable hairstyle, pokes his head around the door, looking rather wet. In his hand, there's plainly a sopping textbook.]

Ummm...teach? You have a second?

[questionauthority]

I may.

[Though he still hasn't really bothered to look up from the comic book in his hands.]

What is it?

[cosmicbond]

Ummm....you wouldn't happen to know where I can get a new textbook? Mines...kinda damaged.

[He'll spot the comic. His sadness will fade slightly.]

I didn't know teachers liked to read that kinda stuff.

[questionauthority]

Trust me. We don't.

[The book's absolute drivel. And this so-called "Bat-Man" is nothing more than a fool in a ludicrous costume. He may fancy himself to be the "World's Greatest Detective," but it's all too clear that he's no match for--- Gah. Where did that come from, all of a sudden? He shakes his head and looks up at Gentarou. At the wet textbook in his hands.]

Dare I ask?

[cosmicbond]

That's a shame. They're pretty good reads.

[He'll look down at himself.]

Ummm...I guess the football team didn't wanna be friends. They got a hold of the landskeeper's hose...and well...

[glowing_skye]

[Ema enters the classroom rather furtively. She hates visiting Edward at school, since her presence invites Talk and the likelihood of running into Susan is high. Already, she's had to tell a curious office secretary to mind her own business, thankyouverymuch.

Unfortunately, someone's forgotten his grade book. Like a dutiful wife, she's bringing it to him in case he plans on grading after school.] You left this at the house. It wouldn't kill you to be a bit more responsible with your work things, you know.

[Pause.]

What are you reading?

[questionauthority]

[Ema's here? Perfect. Just the woman he was hoping to present this strange new discovery to. He really couldn't ask for a more brilliant partner-in-crime.

...Well. Okay. She may not be quite as brilliant as Edward. But perhaps she'll be able to help him make sense of this.

He flips the comic closed, offering it for Ema to take off his hands.]

Take a look at this.

[thecoolexec]

[Poking his head in the doorway and glancing around the classroom in mild curiosity.]

Yo, Teach. You don't happen to know a guy named Peter Parker, do you? Heard he worked here. Haven't seen him.

[crazyclownwoman]

Watcha readin' Eddie?

[Harleen was bored so came to visit. Looking over your shoulder.]

[likescats]

[You know what's almost as good as the ex-wife? The ex-grandfather in law. Also known as the history teacher who won't retire.]

"I WASN'T AWARE WE STUDIED COMICS IN SCHOOL."