❦ the fifth rose

[silpheed]

PHONE;
[HELLO MAYFIELD the day of reckoning has come. meaning you get not one irritated, bossy and rude immortal on your phone lines today, you get two!!]

As most of you know, things are getting rather busy around here. That means there's less and less time for menial tasks and chores.

Because that is the case, we have decided that now is the best time to look for some sort of hired help. After all, I doubt that you people really have anything better to do. [RACHEL PLS at least try to make a good impression.] If you are such a person--and you likely are--and also excel at household chores, we now have a proposition for you.

We'll be holding a short audition at the high school auditorium at noon sharp today for those who are interested. Don't fret about pay, it will be a rate which you certainly won't deserve. [now it's tagteam bad impressions...]

If you're late, please do not waste our time by coming. That will be enough of an indicator that you would do a poor job serving. With that said though, I look forward to any who come to audition. It may be difficult, but do your best to at least be somewhat competent. [what a charming young lady you have the potential to serve right]

Thank you in advance for your consideration, and enjoy the rest of your morning. [no it's too late to fix the rudeness of this phone call now but he apparently doesn't see anything wrong with ending on this note...]

ACTION;
[for those brave souls who actually decide to go see what this thing is all about, they'll find a sign on the outside of the auditorium doors that simple says "auditions here" in neat script. inside the auditorium itself, the stage is well-lit and a table is set up in front of it, where Rachel and Charles are currently sitting with a couple of papers, pencils and what appears to be half of a tea set.

APPROACH WITH CAUTION the judgment begins before you even step on the stage...]

Comments

[silpheed]

I believe we already stated on the phone that it is quite the generous salary, far more than anyone would actually deserve at that. But let us see now... a need to repeat already stated information and an inability to acquire basic needs such as high quality tea. I'm afraid your chances are already abysmally low. [if you were looking for a fair grading system you came to the wrong audition man]

[answerer_sword]

Forgive me, but I have seen exorbitant prices charged on everyday goods, especially if they are in short supply.

[And then there the problem of people asking for something other than money...]

I can procure high-quality tea when it is required, but I believe as of now, your teapot should still have a fair amount of tea inside.

[silpheed]

I believe you were the one who asked if we would like more tea to begin with. However, if you feel you are unable to meet our demands, you are more than welcome to quit while you're ahead.

[answerer_sword]

[Bazett does not say anything. Instead, she simply walks over and picks up the teapot and looks inside.]

[silpheed]

Lack of response, invasion of personal space, all those among your other numerous mistakes... [checking off all the things Bazett's done wrong while she watches her]

[answerer_sword]

There is still tea in the pot. I do not believe I will have to procure any more at this point in time. Now, would you like more tea?

[At this point, it has become pretty obvious that both these children are as spoiled and childish as they look.]

[silpheed]

Be served by someone as rude as you have been during this entire audition? I think not. [if only rachel wasn't actually being the rude one here...]

[answerer_sword]

Would you rather have me do something else?

[silpheed]

Not in particular. It is up to you to prove yourself worthy after all.

[answerer_sword]

Then I believe a mere short audition might not be enough. I cannot properly respond to your tastes without knowing more about them.

[silpheed]

You simply should have done your homework on us beforehand. It's not out job to inform you of our tastes. [impossible to please people: the post]

[answerer_sword]

I was not alerted to the fact that you needed a servant until this very day. It would be better if I had a warning in advance.

[Her eye is twitching now. She has to remind herself it is not worth it to get angry at the children, however bratty they are.]

[silpheed]

That's more than enough time to do sufficient research on your possible employers.

[answerer_sword]

How? By tracking you down by voice?

[silpheed]

Possibly, but surely there are other methods of investigating someone.

[answerer_sword]

Can you please suggest some to me for future reference?

[silpheed]

Now, now, you are an adult, are you not? There's no need for me to tell you everything to do.

[answerer_sword]

A basic guide would still very much be appreciated. Not even adults can know everything.

[silpheed]

Unfortunately, life is never that fair. You'll simply have to do without one.

[answerer_sword]

I...see.

[These children needed a tutor, not a butler. Specifically, a tutor in etiquette.]

[silpheed]

Well, I suppose I've seen enough to make a decision regarding your possible future employment. You may leave.

[answerer_sword]

I...understand.

[She turns to go.]

And I have seen enough to decide that you might not be the ideal employer.

[silpheed]

Letting out such a remark before you're even out the door? I suppose I ought to tell you then that you won't be getting the job.

[making a shooing motion with her hand] Now then, do see yourself out. I've no time to entertain you all day.