JAWS 16 - GHOSTLY JAWS

[jaws5sonofjaws]

[PHONE]

Uh, so I know all this crazy shit is happening and all, the town going to hell... but Susan told me I gotta read 5,000 books by the end of the Summer, somehow, and I know if I don't she's gonna do something awful to me. It's pretty weird to go into town, so does anybody have any books they can throw my way or something? I really wish the internet existed here...

[Action, Library]

[With no other choice, Mart has had to go to the library. And while reaching for some books, his hand is now stuck to a book case. Struggling, he's sending books and wood flying...]

Comments

phone

[werejew]

Dude, she has to be fucking with you. There aren't five thousand books in, like, the entire world.

[jaws5sonofjaws]

Probably, but I can't take that risk!

She'll probably do something horrible to me if I don't even try...

[werejew]

Do, like, really fucking short books count? Maybe you can read picture books.

[friends help friends find loopholes]

[jaws5sonofjaws]

Naw, she already told me it had to be actual-actual books and novels.

She recommended by reading books about war since there's action in it, but I don't think I can read 5,000 war books.

What do you think she'll do if I just tell ehr I can't possibly do it?

[werejew]

[she considers this] ... Dunno. Maybe she'll, like, make you write 5000 papers about how you couldn't read 5000 books?

I don't fucking know; I'm not in school anymore. I don't need to worry about this shit.

[jaws5sonofjaws]

Oh man this is gonna suck...

And you're lucky, you don't have to deal with having to do outdated homework and shit alogn with all the other insane Mayfield crap.

[werejew]

Yeah, but I also have to get married. That fucking sucks.

[jaws5sonofjaws]

Especially when you're married to The Major... fuckin' Mayfield.

[werejew]

Not anymore! The fuck finally left, and when he came back, he was in a whole different fucking house!

[jaws5sonofjaws]

Nice! Uh, who you married to now?

We should go beat the shit outta him sometime.

[werejew]

Nobody yet!

[a beat]

If it ends up being your stupid ass, I'll fucking beat your face in.

[jaws5sonofjaws]

Well, I don't see how...

[pause]

When did you get forcibly 'married' and shit by the town?

[werejew]

When I turned eighteen.

[jaws5sonofjaws]

...

Oh shit, my 18th birthday is coming up!

[werejew]

...

No. Stop that.

[jaws5sonofjaws]

Annie!

I'm totally serious!

It's at the end of the month!

[werejew]

Don't you fucking dare!

[jaws5sonofjaws]

Don't I dare what?

Age!?

[werejew]

Yeah! You don't fucking have to! Don't be so fucking selfish!

[jaws5sonofjaws]

...

That doesn't make any goddamn sense.

[werejew]

More like total sense.

[jaws5sonofjaws]

What?

Look, maybe nothing'll happen.

[werejew]

It better not. I'm holding you personally fucking responsible if it does.

[jaws5sonofjaws]

... if we end up hitched by the goddamn town, you'll blame me?

Again, no sense.

[werejew]

Okay, fine.

It's only half your fault.