(no subject)

[thebeastwithout]

[action, downtown Mayfield]
[People are, by now, perhaps accustomed to seeing strange green animals that had no business wandering around a 1950s neighborhood doing exactly that.

They may not, however, be accustomed to seeing lumbering green stegosauri being used as large billboards.]

Do you want to be a superhero? You, too, can save countless lives by joining the awesome cool superhero team, the Teen Titans! Auditions Saturday 7/26, 1124 Taylor, all day!

[phone]
~When there's trouble, you know who to caaaaall - TeEn tItANs!!
Mayfield sucks, but we're still standing taaaaaall - TEEN TITANS!!!
We'll beat up Zemekis once and for all.
Then we'll have a buncha tofu dogs...zall
'Cause when the - wait does it still need to rhyme with 'all'? How did this go again? Who even wrote this thing?

I mean, uh. Friends! Mayfieldians! Countrymen! Lend me your video games! This is your chance to shine; that's right, you heard me. For a limited time, you, too, can join the prestigious Jump City based superhero team, the Teen Titans! You don't even hafta be a teen, we'll totally take anyone. The only requirements are that you wanna kick Mayfield's butt. ...And you've gotta be really cool. And if anyone wants to codename themselves Robin, Starfire, Raven, or Cyborg and wear these special costumes I made, that's fine, too. Auditions will be this Saturday at 1124 Taylor, all day.

Oh, and Cain and Terra, you guys're totally my other two judges. I'm the nice guy and Terra's the girl, so Cain, you've gotta be the mean one.

[action, park]
[Beast Boy can be found later that day in the park with what appears to be... a smiling Raven. The apocalypse is surely nigh.]

Hey, Raven. Why do ducks quack?

Gee, Garfield! I don't know!

Sh! I said, call me Beast Boy.

OK, Garfield!

Ugh, no, whatever. Look, they quack 'cause they get all quacked up by my jokes.

Hahahahaha! You're so funny, Garfield! Tell me more!

......Yeah, no, this is totally not gonna work.

[And whenever he gets rid of the drone, Beast Boy sighs a little and sits by the edge of the pond, throwing in little rocks.]

Comments

Park

[imstillhere]

[Hey Beast Boy, why so sad?

Jim was flying overhead when he heard your conversation, pfft, Garfield? Whatevs, he see's the green kid now sitting by the pond and Jim is just flying over the water on his AWESOME SOLAR BOARD THANKS, and stop in front him.]

Hey there, Garfield, what's up?

[phone].

[littleredwolf]

What is a 'superhero' and why should anyone want to be one?

[Because as far as she can tell, the Teen Titans must be a band of really untalented bards. What even was that song?]

[thebeastwithout]

Gaaah!

[Beast Boy pops into a turtle and spins around in the air for a few moments before reverting to normal.]

Geez, don't say it so loud! Where did you hear that name?!

[thebeastwithout]

Superheroes are exactly what they sound like! We're heroes! We protect the innocent, fight off crime, and give bad guys a big kick in the butt.

You totally wanna join because you want to be the good guy. Also we have pizza parties.

[imstillhere]

Overheard that drone there saying it while I was flying.

[Just gonna grin.]

Anyways, what's up with you?

Phone

[abravelikehero]

I'm not really sure about joining a group, though if I did I want to be the Red Prism Ranger.

But other than that, hey, do you have a CD single for your theme song? It sounds fun.

[thebeastwithout]

Dude. OK, look. If we're gonna be friends, we've gotta set some rules.

Rule one: Don't ever say that name.
Rule two: ...Uh. Um. ...Don't be hating on the green.
Rule three: Actually I don't usually do this because no one ever finds out my name so I guess we're cool.

[thebeastwithout]

...That sounds kinda like a knock-off of a show I used to watch when I was a kid, but that show was awesome so you're good. Why don't you wanna join?

And dude, we have karaoke tracks. We should have a karaoke night one day.

[imstillhere]

Friends huh? Yeah okay. Fine I won't call you Garfield anymore. Also, got no problem with the green skin. Kind of used to stuff like that. Aliens coming to my family's in and all.

[Flying over the ground, he taps a button under his foot which retracts the sail and lands the board softly on the ground.]

So, gonna tell me what's wrong or what?

[littleredwolf]

But I'm a lady. I can't fight. And I've never heard of any such thing as a pizza party.

[thebeastwithout]

Huh.

Do they drink mustard outta the bottle too?

[Beast Boy tries not to look enviously at the flying skateboard thing as he glances away.]

Wrong? Whaddaya mean? Everything's totally peachy, 'cept for you finding out my name and all.

Maybe I should ask people to call me Logan. That sounds kinda like a superhero name.

[thebeastwithout]

...Dude.

Girls can totally fight. Who'd you hear that from? Starfire's probably the strongest one on the team.

[imstillhere]

No, they drink purp juice and stuff like that though.

[Why would they drink mustard?]

Hm, really? Didn't look like it. Seems pretty weird to hang out with a drone when they don't do much.

[Just gonna pick up his solar board and lean against it.]

Yeah, Logan's pretty cool.

[thebeastwithout]

Hahaha...! Just, uh. Testing out my jokes.

Hey, why did the aardvark cross the road?

[littleredwolf]

My mother, my father, my old septa...everyone. The gods made men to bear arms and women to bear children. For a lady to take up a blade - it would be like a lord taking up a needle and thread. It simply isn't done.

[ That's not quite true. There is her little sister, and she's heard that Lord Tarth's daughter fought as a knight in King Renly's Kingsguard. ]

Well, I suppose it is done, but it's very improper.

[imstillhere]

Right...

[Eyebrow raise.]

Uh...I dunno?

[thebeastwithout]

Uh...

Starfire's the queen of her planet, and I'm pretty sure she wouldn't agree. Anyway, no one said you had to go swing a sword around! It's not like I know how to use any weapons.

[thebeastwithout]

Because it --

[...]

...Because... Because, uh. .......Shoot. All I remember is Raven's dumb answer.

[Phone]

[shoeofbaileys]

Old Gregg all help you take on this town yes sir.

Old Gregg not gonna let this witch town win. No sir. Gotta all get back to his nice cave.

[thebeastwithout]

...

Great! Uh. ...We're gonna have to do something about that name, though. Maybe Superhero Gregg.

[imstillhere]

That's her name? Was she a friend or something?

[thebeastwithout]

Nah. ...Well, yeah, I mean, a friend, too, but she was my teammate.

[shoeofbaileys]

YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH OLD GREGG'S NAME MOTHERLICKER?

[littleredwolf]

Then what would you have me do?

[imstillhere]

Hm, seems rough with her being a drone now...