1st Shoe of Baileys - Action/Phone

[shoeofbaileys]

[Action - Locked to 951 Beuluh]

[How do you like being woken up in bed, Carlton?

Because when you wake up this morning you'll feel some very warm, very heavy breathing at the back of your neck. What's even worse is the salty, sewage-waste smell of the breath as well.

If you turn around you'll see quite possibly one of the most horrible looking creatures in front of you from it's horrid green skin and sea weed hair down to the thin mustache it has and unnecessarily red lipstick it has smeared around it's mouth. And it is just staring back at you Carlton.

Just. Staring. Until it speaks.]

Why you in Old Gregg's bed, motherlicker?

[Phone]

Old Gregg don't all like this. No sir. Old Gregg was happy being back at his nice old pond, scaring ducks and eating spiders. Didn't have no desire to be getting dragged all back to this witch town.

Know what Gregg thinks? You know what? Gregg thinks you all played a trick on Old Gregg. Yes sir. You all just made him think he was back home when he was really just here. All put a big old picture of his nice cave and just been tricking him like that.

Old Gregg don't like that. No sir.

Old Gregg gonna find out who tricked him. And then Old Gregg gonna tear their legs off and use them as crutches.

I'M

OLD

GREEEEEEEEGGGGG!

[Action - Around Town]

[With everything that's wrong with this town (most notably lack of Baileys) there is one thing Gregg enjoys about the town. And that's the fact that he has a car he's allowed to drive here.

Around town today there is a little white car just tear assing around town. Maybe he's driving donuts on your lawn or maybe he just barely missed running you down in the street. But either way its the same.

And all the time he is just keeping his head out the window, giving the only warning he can as his car comes careening barely under control.]

OUT OF THE WAY MOTHERLICKERS!

OLD GREGG'S DRIVING!

Comments

Around town

[gezellig]

[Holland is pretty sure that he remembers that voice; after all, it would be pretty hard to forget that the last time he heard it, he blacked out and still can't exactly remember what happened after that.

He'll be busy clearing a few things out of his garage; his own car is parked in the driveway.

Maybe if he doesn't look at the car or better yet, the street at all, he won't be noticed.]

[shoeofbaileys]

[It may be a bit harder to not look at it or pay attention to it when Gregg manages to run his car into yours. It's alright though, it's just a fender bender, although it causes Gregg to yell as loud as he can at the car as he clumsily pushes the car door open, rolling out onto the yard.

And that's when he sees Holland. Don't worry buddy. He's coming right over.]

Hi.

How you doing? Old Gregg miss you.

[gezellig]

. . .

. . . . . .

[Well, the fact that Holland is a nation well-known for tolerance isn't just lip-service. He'll give the car a look, then take his cigarette out and blow a long stream of smoke out the side of his mouth. It might be mistaken for a sigh.]

. . . Hoi.

phone

[cutesy]

You eat spiders?! That's so gross. Are you training for fear factor or something?

[ ....God. This town is so gross!!!!! ]

[shoeofbaileys]

There ain't nothing gross about spiders. They got a nice crunch to 'em yes sir. Eat them with a little sea-weed wrapped around them.

[cutesy]

Uh, what's gross about spiders is the fact that they're a bug. Why don't eat you eat a sandwich wrap, or a lollipop or pizza instead! Something that isn't alive and tries to bite you in your sleep. [ So. Gross. ]

[begintheoperation]

[Fran was just on her way to the park when she was nearly run down the car. She's always been a bit slow to react, so the car misses her by mere centimeters. Good thing too as she's still a fleshy normal human right now.]

[shoeofbaileys]

[Well goddamn would you look at that? Some people in this town just don't know how to behave when a freaky fish man is driving. He will just do a u-turn as soon as he can so he's pointing right back at Fran and will begin to lay on the horn as much as he can.]

Hey! Don't you all know nothing about walking?

I'M OLD GREGG!!

[begintheoperation]

[Fran is climbing to her feet, but then stops to cover her ears from the blaring horn.]

Ah~ I'm sorry~ My body isn't responding like it usually does~

phone

[envyspites]

[Whelp.]

AND I'M THE OLD MAN OF HINAMIZAWAAAAAAAAAA!

Re: phone

[shoeofbaileys]

YOU AIN'T NO OLD MAN!

YOU A LITTLE GIRL!

DON'T BE LYING TO OLD GREGG!!

[envyspites]

I FIND IT INCREDIBLY RUDE THAT YOU ASSUME THIS ALL FROM MY VOICE ALONE, SIR!

I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I'M UNCLE MION!

[watchthenails]

[ Okay, those are strange things to eat. But from what Taki has heard about the things Seigaku's Inui puts in his concoctions, it's not the worst thing out there. ]

You do hold quite an interesting diet, sir. I take it you are not human? And I would like to say welcome back, but as this is not the most pleasant place to be, it would be quite the big lie.

[shoeofbaileys]

Old Gregg ain't a human. Old Gregg's Old Gregg!

Yes sir. Old Gregg don't take this town none. Gonna fine the witch who run it and make sure she get all melted.

[watchthenails]

Oh dear. Are you sure that there is a witch behind all of this, then?

[chibi_emperor]

And I am the mighty Code:Emperor. Now shut the fuck up!

[shoeofbaileys]

YOU DON'T ALL TELL OLD GREGG TO SHUT THE FUCK UP!

YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP OR OLD GREGG GONNA SHUT YOUR MOUTH UP ALL FOR GOOD!

[chibi_emperor]

What do you mean 'all', you fucking moron, I am ONE person you dipshit!

Just you try and I'll burn you to death!

Phone

[spinningorange]

Hi I'm Chen!

(Someone seems completely unfazed by the yelling...)

[shoeofbaileys]

Old Gregg don't care.

Less you the one all bring Gregg back here. You the one who bring Gregg back?

[spinningorange]

No...that was probably Mayfield's fault. It brings people here for some reason.

Action - Around Town

[jaws5sonofjaws]

[Mart was just crossing the street when

Old Gregg
Driving at him.

Oh boy.]

WHAT THE FU-!

[Brace for impact!]

Action - Around Town

[shoeofbaileys]

GET OUT OF GREGG'S WAY!

[Goddamn. He just does not care Mart. He is going to continue to just ram right the hell into you if you don't move.]

around town

[1st_superhero]

[And here comes a guy just as crazy who is intent on playing chicken with him using a firetruck.]

Oh yeah? I'm GILGAMESH! Your argument is invalid!

Re: around town

[shoeofbaileys]

Who's Gilgamesh?

Old Gregg ain't never heard of him no sir.