[First Hat Trick] [Stranger in a Strange Land]

[productiverevenge]

[Master Bedroom of 1764 Beaver St]

[The first thing that Patrick notices is wrong is that he's in a comfortable bed. He doesn't sleep much in beds these days - there's his mattress on the floor of the bedroom of his house. There's the cot up in the attic of the CBI building, and the sofa down in the pen ... but he doesn't wake up in beds.]

[He also doesn't wake up in a twin bed, with the other one occupied by a woman with her hair in curlers.]

[...He decides immediately screaming probably isn't the answer. Besides, it might wake up the strange woman and god knows what sort of crazy she might unleash on him.]

[So, quiet as a mouse, he crawls out of his bed and to the closet to grab some clothes that are -- well, not his but close enough. He forgoes the ties to stick with his normal jacket-vest-pants combination, but keeping his shoes off so he can sneak across the bedroom without awakening the strange brunette.]

[Living Room of 1764]

[He's escaped downstairs, but not before discovering there are two more closed bedroom doors - and the decorator here decided to go with the bad side of the 1950's.]

[He's shoving on clothes when he notices something over the mantlepiece. A portrait. A family portrait.

And he's in it. With the brunette. And two children. He walks up to it and squints, before muttering.]

...What. in the name of. Molly Malloy. Is going on?

[Right. Right. Time to call the police.]

[Phone, open to all]

Hello? Hello? Aaaaah, I'm just trying to be clear here - am I in a real place? I just need to know if I've been kidnapped for nefarious purposes or if I'm just having a mental breakdown? [a pause] Again.

[Out in the Town]

[You might just see a spiffy looking blonde man on the late side of his thirties, just going into his fortieth year, walking around and ... well. Poking things. Poking flowers. Poking sign posts. He's feeling them out to see if they are in fact real or if his mind is playing tricks on him.]

[He's also peering at people very intently when they pass by. He's especially staring hard at the drones, his lips pressing together and his blue eyes going a little harder and more intent.]

[There's something very wrong here, and those people, Patrick has found, are one of the ones that are tickling his Spidey Senses.]

Comments

Town (filling out permissions as we type)

[myblimpisbigger]

[How's this for a change from the drones, Patrick? Not a neatly-groomed man with slicked-back black hair and penny loafers and a suit, but a seven-foot-tall brick wall with wild white hair, a nose that looks like it's been broken about ten times, and an outfit better suited to a steampunk convention.

He's looking at you. And maybe judging, just a bit.]

They're all real, I assure you.

[A pause.]

That is, they are corporeal. Are you a new arrival? We're about due for them.

Re: Town (filling out permissions as we type)

[productiverevenge]

[Yes, that is definitely a change. Especially since Patrick has to look up. And look up a little further than that.]

[Blue eyes look up, and guess what Klaus, they're narrowing in judgement as well.]

Uh... huh.

[He quirked a smile, before looking around. His tone as he speaks is crisp and dispassionate.]

I suppose I am, and yes, the objects are corporeal. The people, well besides you, are not. They're cardboard. Fake. Right off a cookie cutter. Unlike you, who is filled up with seven feet of European self-importance ... what are you, some kind of baron who owns a big creepy castle with people carrying pitchforks? [His eyes narrow a little further.] Do they come after YOU with those pitchforks?

[myblimpisbigger]

[Dang, Patrick, you even got his title right. He isn't sure whether he should laugh or punch you in the face. Of course, he's not really energetic enough for either right now. It's been a shitty couple of weeks for the Baron. You get a raised eyebrow instead.]

Impressive deductions, though your details are a bit off. No one uses pitchforks anymore.

[Also Castle Wulfenbach isn't creepy. Rude.]

[productiverevenge]

[Patrick quirks a half smile before stuffing his hands in his pockets, looking around once more.]

Well, it was more of a shot in the dark with the pitchforks.

[He waved his hand around.]

But you are smart enough to see what's going on here -- so. What's going on here?

About Town

[ooeeooahah]

[ After a few moments of watching the man test reality by poking at a sighnpost, a woman a few feet away gently comments, ]

You'll need stronger tools to make that go away, and even then, it won't be permanent.

[ She's dressed like the locals, but the way she presents is different from the drones. ]

Re: About Town

[productiverevenge]

[Patrick turns towards her, his gaze sinking into her. As soon as he confirms that she does - in fact - have the body language of someone who is actually a person - he moves towards her.]

I'm not trying to make it go away. I'm trying to confirm whether or not I've just cracked again or if I've been kidnapped. From what I've heard, apparently I've been kidnapped.

Re: About Town

[ooeeooahah]

Yep, kidnapped - Just this morning?

[ Her smile is sad, and she doesn't move away when he gets closer. ]

Re: About Town

[productiverevenge]

Just this morning. Woke up in a strange bed - woke up in a bed period with a wife and two kids ... and that's just not possible.

[He gives her a long and thoughtful gaze. She's saddened by the news, and his voice is quiet.] You've been here awhile, haven't you?

Town

[littleblonderiddle]

[ The poking is... well, it's a little weird, in Juliet's opinion. The unfamiliar, fair-haired man is obviously determined to poke at everything in sight. Fine. Everyone has their thing. The staring, on the other hand? Crossing over into the creepy area.

Juliet's head tilts as she does some staring of her own, her brows furrowing in puzzlement. She should just walk away. But isn't she supposed to be the nice one? This guy is obviously new, or otherwise just incredibly confused. With a sigh, she takes a few steps towards the man. ]

You know, the whole leering thing? It's a little creepy. Just so you know. [ Slightly awkward. Moving on. ] Are you okay?

Re: Town

[productiverevenge]

[Patrick looks up from where he was poking a daisy, eyes a passing drone, and then finds someone staring at him in turn. He stares back, before a grin passes his face and he waggles a wave at her with his fingers.]

I suppose it would be - if I was leering. Really, I'm just trying to figure out who is real and who isn't You, for example, are real -- and the first police officer I've seen. [He tilts his head.] No, I take that back. Police detective, right?

[littleblonderiddle]

[ A small, slightly uncertain smile tugs at the corner of her mouth at that wave. He seems harmless enough, but you never know. Juliet has half a mind to argue semantics about the definition of leering, but then he completely accurately pins her as a detective and all she can do is to gape in astonishment. ]

I-- How did you...? [ Awe mixes in with the astonishment, and she can't help but laugh in delight. She's used to Shawn being able to divine unexpected things, but this was incredibly accurate. ] Wow, that was amazing. That's right, detective Juliet O'Hara, Santa Barbara PD. How could you tell? Am I giving off some kind of a vibe?

[productiverevenge]

Well, yes and no. Your body language is pretty clear. Zoning in on a possible threat - [he gestured to himself] Your stance is firm, but your hand is going down to your hip, where your gun would be, or your badge if you were a detective. I surmise by the fact that you're being conversation thatal you're not normally one to shoot first and ask questions later so - detective.

[He gave her one of his best charming smiles, and offered his hand.] Patrick Jane. I'm a consultant with the CBI.

Town

[kinship]

[Well that's... new.

Cain can't say he's seen someone poking the signs before, and with such a seriously intense look on his face too, so he can't just ignore it. Walking up, dressed like a drone and with a similar polite smile, he looks up at Patrick.]

Excuse me, sir, are you alright?

Re: Town

[productiverevenge]

Oh, just fine and dandy. Trying to figure out if I'm having a psychotic break, is all.

[Patrick turns, and then looks slightly ... down. Interesting. A small child. Wearing drone clothes, possibly not a drone, or possibly the first sign of leadership taking notice of him.]

Don't you ever poke at things to see what will happen?

[kinship]

Not until I can be sure they won't poke back at me much harder.

[Or at least, not physically. He regularly prods people verbally to see what they'll do, it's informative. He doesn't look like he's having a psychotic break, but then there are a lot of mentally unstable people trapped here. There is one fairly safe bet why he's wondering that, though...]

Have you just arrived here, sir?

[productiverevenge]

That's a wise point of view.

[He turned towards the child again, blue eyes narrowing thoughtfully.] Very wise, for someone so very young.

[He stuffed his hands over his pockets.] I have.

[Phone]

[onepointtwentyonewatts]

This place is real. A little unbalanced in the physcial reality of things but none the less real. The defintion of kidnapped is fitting. Outside of the ransom.... Unless, prehaps you use the post office..

Re: [Phone]

[productiverevenge]

... Post Office? Why would I send my ransom through the post office?

[Phone]

[onepointtwentyonewatts]

Due to the trade off, you'll recieve items from home. I highly sugguest you leave that as a last resort and get an introduction letter.

[voiceofauthority]

[Jenny's got her hands deep in the pockets of her slacks as she goes for her afternoon constitutional. It's been a regular for her for a month or two now. Escape from those damn steppford kids and plotting the best attack on that little bitch Lucy Smith. She's been gathering people and thinking up ways of keeping hold of their resources since she joined up with the resistance.

Then she almost literally runs into the tall blond man. Quick reaction time is the only thing that stops them from a head on collision. She pauses right behind him, staring him down with a long and hard look.]

you're new, aren't you?

[productiverevenge]

[He finished poking a lamp post, nodding his head seriously. Yep, that was real. In fact, besides the people, most of this was real. The people were the ones who were plastic - no more real than the sleight of hand.]

[Of course, at that point, while he was assessing one of the little fake children, someone smacked right into him. He balanced himself holding his hands out.]

Yes, I am. You are British.

[voiceofauthority]

Astute, aren't we?

[She was still giving him that hard assessing look. Clearly she was trying to decide something. Worth, realness, it was hard to tell.]

And how long have you been here?

Around Town

[eyesofaserpent]

[Crowley is leaning against his vintage black Bentley, his pure white wings slightly outstretched over the hood of the car as if he were the flying B hood ornament. He had a rigorous cleaning of his wings last night as they were starting to look terrible and despite his upset over Aziraphale's droning, he just couldn't stand the state of his wings anymore. He's watching this guy poking everything and glaring at the drones. Newbies...]

You must have woken up in this hellhole this morning.

Re: Around Town

[productiverevenge]

[Patrick looked up from where he was eying a chess game between two innocent looking drones, and arched an eyebrow at the ... the ...]

Oh, and now I am having questions about where I am again. Exactly.

[eyesofaserpent]

I'd say you were in hell. But considering I'm from there, I can guarantee you this isn't it. Welcome to Mayfield.