Vash the Stampede (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
collateraldamage) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
mayfield_rpg2012-04-15 10:17 pm
collateraldamage) wrote in mayfield_rpg2012-04-15 10:17 pm
Entry tags:
[001] The Sixty Billion Double Dollar Man
[A: 1248 Williams (Closed to Housemates)]
[Vash would be the first person to say that many of his dreams involved waking up next to a beautiful woman (though sometimes this beautiful woman was made of doughnuts) and so for a long second when he opens his eyes, he thinks that's what this is. Wriggling a bit closer to the poor hapless Makoto, she'll surely appreciate his drool-mumbles... right?]
...'mnot... delicious jelly filling, and...
[Except this dream was just growing more realistic, and Vash was very suddenly aware of two things. The first of which was that he was IN BED WITH A STRANGE WOMAN, and the second of which was that HE WAS ONLY WEARING BOXER SHORTS! The peaceful slumbering air of the room is shattered by a piercing and girlish SCREAM as Vash leaps out of bed and takes the sheets with him, wrapping them around himself to hide his scarred torso... that isn't scarred, wtf Mayfield?!]
[B: Phone (Open to All)]
[Having had things explained a bit more, and after spending a few hours wondering if he'd finally lost his mind to hallucinations and madness, Vash finally decided the time was ripe to introduce himself to his fellow residents. If what had been said was true, and nobody here knew him, then he had a chance to make a good first impression. So the voice that comes over the line is deep and very deliberately manly, with an attempted hint at suave.]
Good afternoon, assorted men, children and, most importantly, beautiful women. The days have been dark here, the nights long and cold so far, and you have been in dire need of some brave soul to rectify all these wrongs.
A man of style. A man of extreme manliness. A man of...
[Wait, he doesn't have another descriptor. He fumbles for a second, before giving a manly cough to cover the awkward pause.]
And what do we call this man among men, this seeker of the elusive mayfly of love, I hear you cry? I am Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III.
[C: Bakery (Open to All)]
[They say an army marches on its stomach, and after giving his very impressive introduction, 'Valentinez' has decided that he most certainly deserves to put something in his. Following the inner glutton compass that pointed directly at sugary goodness, Vash has found his way to the bakery and all its tantalizing smells...
...before realising he has no money. Observe, if you will, the not-at-all-pathetic sight of a grown man with tears running down his cheeks as he presses his nose to the glass.]
[Vash would be the first person to say that many of his dreams involved waking up next to a beautiful woman (though sometimes this beautiful woman was made of doughnuts) and so for a long second when he opens his eyes, he thinks that's what this is. Wriggling a bit closer to the poor hapless Makoto, she'll surely appreciate his drool-mumbles... right?]
...'mnot... delicious jelly filling, and...
[Except this dream was just growing more realistic, and Vash was very suddenly aware of two things. The first of which was that he was IN BED WITH A STRANGE WOMAN, and the second of which was that HE WAS ONLY WEARING BOXER SHORTS! The peaceful slumbering air of the room is shattered by a piercing and girlish SCREAM as Vash leaps out of bed and takes the sheets with him, wrapping them around himself to hide his scarred torso... that isn't scarred, wtf Mayfield?!]
[B: Phone (Open to All)]
[Having had things explained a bit more, and after spending a few hours wondering if he'd finally lost his mind to hallucinations and madness, Vash finally decided the time was ripe to introduce himself to his fellow residents. If what had been said was true, and nobody here knew him, then he had a chance to make a good first impression. So the voice that comes over the line is deep and very deliberately manly, with an attempted hint at suave.]
Good afternoon, assorted men, children and, most importantly, beautiful women. The days have been dark here, the nights long and cold so far, and you have been in dire need of some brave soul to rectify all these wrongs.
A man of style. A man of extreme manliness. A man of...
[Wait, he doesn't have another descriptor. He fumbles for a second, before giving a manly cough to cover the awkward pause.]
And what do we call this man among men, this seeker of the elusive mayfly of love, I hear you cry? I am Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III.
[C: Bakery (Open to All)]
[They say an army marches on its stomach, and after giving his very impressive introduction, 'Valentinez' has decided that he most certainly deserves to put something in his. Following the inner glutton compass that pointed directly at sugary goodness, Vash has found his way to the bakery and all its tantalizing smells...
...before realising he has no money. Observe, if you will, the not-at-all-pathetic sight of a grown man with tears running down his cheeks as he presses his nose to the glass.]
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[Assumes DRAMATIC POSE]
"Cade MASTERS, ADVENTURER EXTRAORDINAIIIIIIRRRRRRREEEEE!"
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Wow! I'm so lucky you came along, Mr. Adventurer!
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"BWAHAHA! HA! Well of course you are! Who isn't?"
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HAHAHAHA...
[Wait, why are they laughing? Who cares, this man is BUYING HIM FOOD.]
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[Cade gives Vash a slap on the back and continues to talk in an over-boisterous tone.]
"You're an OK guy, random citizen! How does this sound for a plan? First, food! Then, we go about the town looking for excitement! Or ladies!"
[Cade leans in to give you a little elbow nudge.]
"Or excitement with the ladies, if you know what I mean?"
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I, Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III, am honoured to accept!
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"Wait, are you THE Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III?"
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One and the same!
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"FANTASTIC! Mind if I just call you Valentine? The whole thing is a bit of a mouthful, and you remind me of the Idamran saint. You HAVE heard the story of Valentine, right?"
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[And, oddly enough, he has. One doesn't live that long without picking up the occasional biblical story.]
...But it's Valentinez.
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"Oh, good then! Come, Valentino! We eat!"
[Cade opens the door to the shop with dramatic flair and announces his order as if it was an important royal announcement.]
"GOOD DAY! I shall purchase your most delicious eclair, your two finest cream puffs, and..."
[Cade looks back at you]
"...what did you say you wanted again?"
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Following on into the shop and almost drooling over the cabinets, he nods enthusiastically.]
Those! I'll have those too!
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"GET THIS MAN SOME CREAMPUFFS!"
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AND POSSIBLY SOME MILKSHAKES!
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"What's a... 'milk shake'?"
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Cade looks at you with a puzzled look, and tries to contemplate what this 'shaken milk' could be. Surely, it isn't just a shaken bottle of cow milk? What's so great about that? Perhaps it is some sort of colorful expression from Valentino's culture?
Cade looks about the shop with a puzzled look on his face. He notices a female patron with ample... assets who is bouncing excitedly as she looks at all the delicious pastries behind the glass counter.
Cade looks back at Valentino, points subtly at the woman, and silently mouths something with a very quizzical look on his face.]
"Milk shakes?"
[Geez, "Valentino". Didn't know you were THAT kind of guy.]
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N-NO! What kind of man do you think I am?!
[He has already learned to notice the drones and it feels... wrong, somehow, to test his usual flirtation on them. Besides, sugar was more important.]
Milkshakes are the most amazing drink, so creamy and delicious.
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"Sho.... war woob we fine theesh 'mil shaes'?"
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[He shoves the other into his mouth, stars sparkling in his eyes as he leans over to the drone behind the counter.]
Do you have milkshakes? Can we get two, one each for two parched men.
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"Well, what are we waiting for? Off! To adventures and shaken milk!"
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Vash makes a surprised sound, waving his arms about as he's pulled off towards the malt shop.]
Hey! HEY! HELP, KIDNAPPING!
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"HAH! You're a funny fellow!"
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