Are Cowboys Cooler Than Vampires?

[nyanpire]

[Action A - General vicinity of 1444 Mitchell, Morning]

[It was pretty upsetting, to wake up in the wrong bed, in the wrong house, full of drones treating you funny. For you see, being a cat, Nyanpire was used to being regarded as a pet by the drones. But they were calling him "dad" and "dear" and it was really freaking him out.

Also, the being a human thing was freaking him out, too. A whole lot. He's on the front lawn, still in his pyjamas, staggering around and flailing at the air and making a huge fuss.]



This is all wrong! Aaaah! Wrong, wrong, wrong! HEEEEEELP! Ilsa! Edward! Ilsaaaaa! AAAANYONE!

[Action B - Around Town]

[Alright. Alright. The flipping out had been gotten out of Nyanpire's system. He had gone back inside, managed to get dressed (though the buttons on his shirt were done up unevenly and he forgot to zip his fly), and was now going to make the most of being a pretty big human dude.



For instance, he was gonna walk ALL AROUND THAT GROCERY STORE and NOT GET KICKED OUT. It's pretty awesome. He has like, a dozen bottles of ketchup in his cart.]

(Replies will be coming from suddenstandoff!)

Comments

So it goes. Mean ol' spellchecker.

[suddenstandoff]

Merem Solomon... and Remilia... and Flandre Scarlet...

I don't know any of those ones! Maybe I'll go find them! When... I'm not this guy, anymore.

[He frowns, shifts his grocery bags to the crook of one arm, and adjusts his hat.]

I don't know if I like this or not...

[walking_nukebird]

I can tell you I don't like this. I mean ... it's weird enough waking up in the body of someone who's the other sex, but switching bodies with a man-eating youkai ...

[suddenstandoff]

[The conversation is now getting a little bit high-concept for Nyanpire. He's not sure that he fully understands anymore... but this is probably really important, so he's gonna try.]

....so you're really a boy?

And... she really eats people?

[walking_nukebird]

Yeah, I am ... and she does.

["Utsuho's" wings twitch. It's odd to see that kind of reaction from someone who's supposed to be a vampire, of all things.]

I'm ... gonna guess you're not like the typical vampire, then? I mean, the whole thing about vampires seeing humans as food and nothing else.

[suddenstandoff]

Whaaaaat? No! Humans aren't just food! They give you cuddles, and they take care of you, and they're fun to be around!

Some vampires are pretty mean, if they think that. [He snorts.]

[walking_nukebird]

[Wow. This is pretty trippy for Balin.]

That's the usual deal with vampires, but I don't think I've ever met a "typical" vampire here.

Like, take that Merem kid. He's a ... weird one. He openly calls himself an "enemy of humans," and said they're little more than food to him, now. But he works for the Catholic Church to protect humans from other—uh—supernatural threats.

I don't know what to make of him.

[suddenstandoff]

[This would be really trippy for Nyanpire, too, if he had any sense of self-awareness.]

That's pretty weird... I dunno. We drink blood, yeah.... but we don't have to be mean about it.

Though other vampires have cooler powers than me. [He pauses.] I don't... really... have powers. Huh.

[walking_nukebird]

So I'm guessing you don't, like ... suck people dry? You only take a little?

[A beat.]

Or do you drink from blood packs?

[suddenstandoff]

I just take a little! I'm... [There's a bit of awkward fussing with the hat.] I'm normally a kitten. Not a big-big guy like this.

[walking_nukebird]

Yeah, I see ... I guess you just never know with vampires, what they're going to be like. I guess the only real thing that's common is that you guys all drink blood ...

[suddenstandoff]

I guess, yeah...

[He shrugs, then he looks down at the grocery bags he's carrying. Then back at the grocery store. Then back at her.]

Did you need anything in there?

[walking_nukebird]

Well—I guess not. It's just a pain not being able to go anywhere ... I didn't know you guys had it so rough.

["Her" gaze follows "Hol's" to the groceries.]

... What's with all that red food, anyway?

[suddenstandoff]

I don't usually have money to go buy things. So I don't go to a lot of places. If you have someone to take care of you, it's okay!

...If you don't, then it's no good at all.

[He was looking pretty gloomy, there... the change of topic to groceries was welcome!]

Red food is the best! And no one EVER buys enough of it for me! So now I've got everything I want! Ketchup, and tomato juice, and tomato soup, and fruit punch, and... and...

Past week's been a mess ... sorry for the delay!

[walking_nukebird]

["Utsuho" scratches "her" head in thought.]

So do you just like the color red, or ... ?

Delay all over the place, oh man...

[suddenstandoff]

I'm really a vampire! Blood's the best, but if it's red... it's still pretty good!

[And he laughs. What? Being secretive? Being careful? Being subtle? NOPE.]

No worries!

[walking_nukebird]

[Which now has "Utsuho" thinking.]

Do you know if it works that way for other vampires—?

[suddenstandoff]

I dunno. Maybe?

[He shrugs. It was something he hadn't given much thought to.]

[walking_nukebird]

I wonder if maybe that would make some of them ease up, if they ate more "red" stuff ...

["Utsuho's" rubbing her chin thoughtfully.]