mayfield_rpg | First Saga

[To say that Excel was adaptive would be an understatement. Not only is she quite accustomed to being thrown in prison by the Immigration Bureau, she has spent the past few weeks living out in the streets. Hell, she even managed to build her own makeshift house and eat off of plants growing on the ground, pigeons, and the contaminated fish swimming in the dirty city rivers. Roughing it is not at all a big deal for a girl like her.

To find herself suddenly awake in a house, however, is. She wakes up with or without the help of the alarms and looks around with eyes covered by still heavy eyelids. Everything around her seems much... nicer. Far more, well... bourgeois than what she is already accustomed to. She looks down at her left and sees a... man? Woman? Possibly a man.

... Why the hell is there even a man next to her?

Sparing no time at all, Excel raises her foot and kicks the man out of the bed before attempting to pin him down.]

Thought you could get away with it, didja!? You find some girl out in the streets, drug her, take her back to your house, and think everything is still peaches and cream!? No! No! Bad boy! But I bet you wouldn't have thought that this girl you kidnapped is a master of fifty different killing techniques!

My entire body is a hardened weapon to be used as willed by Lord Il Palazzo in his grand quest, not by some lonely, bourgeois... ... shemale?

[Action: 1767 Beaver]

[Forget that shemale. Kidnapper or not, she's going to take advantage of this as much as possible. It's not like she's footing the bill on anything anyway. Downstairs, Excel is pulling out just about everything from inside the fridge from the meat to the vegetables to the... glass of milk. With some bread, she can make this into quite the sandwich. After frying up the meat, she grabs the two slices of bread, puts them together, she starts scarfing it down as she stands.]

... Ohh.

I haven't had a decent square meal in weeks. But with this sandwich, this alone, I believe I may fight for yet another hundred years! ... eh, still hungry.

[Phone]

SPIDERS! HORRIBLE ARANEIDE INVADERS DOWN MY THROAT! WHAT THE BULL IS IN THIS MILK!? HAS SCIENCE BRED A HORRIBLE COMBINATION OF A COW AND ARACHNID!? A COWRACHNID!?

THROAT, ITCHING, BURNING! SPIDER MILK!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[She would, but she's not sure she wants to see the blood in her vomit. Hyatt provides enough of that to the group.]

And give them mercy by depriving them of their burning, makeshift, spider hell? I think not! 'Sides, I hear there's a lot of protein in spiders. They may have won the battle against my throat, but their nutrients just go right back to me.

They're only making me stronger! Those (blood) suckers.

[ Nothing wrong with a little blood. Rin's used to it due to her family's craft, but ew at using someone else's blood. Maybe she should keep it to herself. ]

What if they're poisonous? Then you're just setting yourself up to get killed by allowing them into your stomach.

Lucky for you, I'm way ahead of that! I just called 119 and the ambulance should be on its way once the girl on the other line feels like it's less time for chit-chat and more time to save my life.

[And hell if her lack of insurance is going to stop her from getting treated. She can't very well suck out the poison when it's in her throat and the hospital here is definitely going to ask for her insurance.

While Excel suspects that the hospital and Milkman are in cahoots (a conspiracy that will be dealt with another time), getting treated is a top priority. Once they do, she'll hoof it just like at every other restaurant. A treatment and dash! That's the ticket.]

I don't think 119 is the right number to call in Ameri--hey, what the hell are you implying with that!? It isn't my responsibility to save your life! If you die, you'll just wake up the next day alright, so why would I waste any resources on someone I don't know!?

... Look, alright. I don't know what sort of a world you live in, but I've got two things to say to you: I called the emergency number. There's an emergency and you guys down over at the hospital should be in more of a rush to save my life! You like insurance money, right? I'm sure you do!

And another thing? People die when they're killed. Or poisoned specifically. They don't magically wake up in their beds the next day as if everything was hunky-dory, peachy-keen, cat's pajamas, and other idioms that all have to do with things being fine and dandy.

Idiot, I'm not from the hospital. You dialed the wrong number!

[ With a sigh. ]

People certainly don't die when they're killed. Well they do, but then they come back. It cheapens death really..

First Saga

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