shirk

[thebeastwithout]

[voice]
Whoa. Hold on. Time out, dudes. So school was pretty OK at first, and I guess there was a buncha stuff that was good to know. I had no idea Napoleon crossed the Saraha on an elephant; I thought he was just the guy who invented that triple ice cream flavor. And the difference between geometry and geography is pretty obvious now, looking back.  But this is just gettin' lame!  Why the heck is there homework every day? Who invented midterms? And how do any of you guys have time for video games after going through all of this junk?!

You're all with me on this, right? I did fine teaching myself before; is there like someone I can talk to to get outta class?  I'm pretty much set for life schoolwise already.  I before t except after g, triangles have 360 angles, blahblah, see?

[action, high school]
[Beast Boy is so over this school thing.  The next day, instead of a skinny green boy sitting in his desk, there is a small, green cat curled up on top, taking a nap.  This persists in every class apart from lunch and gym.]  

[action, makeout point]
[Sometime after Valentine's Day, Beast Boy flutters up to the top of the mountain and transforms back into his usual self, sitting with his legs dangling off the side of the cliff.  There is a dreamy expression in his eyes and he sighs deeply as he flops backwards.  ...He changes his mind half a second later and sits back up, leaning over to scream down into the town far below.]

I've got a girlfrieeeeeend!!!!

[Oh, yeah.  Felt good.]

Comments

[paradisemiko]

There's plenty of us girls from Gensokyo, but I can tell you now that there are plenty more that haven't been brought here yet.

Then maybe you wouldn't mind telling me what it is? I'm trying to avoid school as much as I can.

[thebeastwithout]

The food of the gods.

[paradisemiko]

You sure about that? I've met gods and none of them ever told me about pizza before...

[thebeastwithout]

...You what?

Oh yeah, Gunsoako's like godzilla-country or something, right? You, uh. Must not have asked the right questions, dude.

[paradisemiko]

Gensokyo. And yes, speaking with gods is pretty commonplace...so is fighting them.

Then what should I have asked them? I can speak with the gods from the outside world next time I meet them.

[thebeastwithout]

...

Ask them for three wishes. And then wish for a million more wishes. Then wish for a lifetime supply of free pizza.

[paradisemiko]

...they're not genies; they're gods. They're not even my gods.

[thebeastwithout]

Hey, I'd still do it, anyway.

And what do you mean, they're not your gods? Are you allowed to not believe in a god after you meet 'em?

[paradisemiko]

You don't have to believe in any god, if you don't want to. I choose not to believe in others since I'm already in service of a god; it's kind of a bloodline deal.

[thebeastwithout]

Don't they get mad at you and hitcha with lightning or something?

[paradisemiko]

If they tried, I would fight back with talismans, needles and yin-yang orbs. And I'd probably win.

[thebeastwithout]

[Wow this was getting more and more surreal. Beast Boy pauses.]

Uhh.

So... why aren't you a god, then?

[paradisemiko]

(Reimu deals with all sorts of people on a daily basis, even gods. They come over for tea and parties.)

Because I'm a shrine maiden and it's too much work to become a real god. If being one was that simple, then even Marisa would be a god. Just try to imagine what that would be like.

[thebeastwithout]

[Beast Boy thinks about it for a few seconds.]

Everyone would have to keep a hat and broomstick they pray to in the corner everyday?

[paradisemiko]

And then all of your pockets would be picked clean. She usually doesn't steal from me since I don't have much to steal.

[thebeastwithout]

Really? She never stole anything from me. Guess I don't have much.

So you're a shrine maiden, she's a witch, and both of you are stronger than gods? What kind of gods do you actually have?

[paradisemiko]

If you meet anyone from the Scarlet Devil Mansion, ask them; they'll tell you about that.

All kinds! There's mountain, wind, misfortune, harvest, that one god of Makai, the unnamed, all-powerful Dragon God and of course, my god! I don't know much about mine, though...

Marisa and I are usually the ones who go out and solve the problems that bother Gensokyo every so often, so we fight all kinds of people, even gods!

(Reimu sounds quite proud of that last part.)

[thebeastwithout]

Oh, I gotcha! So you're the superheroes of Gensoko! Things're pretty much the same everywhere you go, huh? Even if what you're fighting is a little different.

I guess I'm supposed to beat this demon lord myself sometime in the future, too.

[paradisemiko]

Pretty much. The real problem is when villains decide to strike when I'm just trying to relax or drink tea. It's a lot of effort, going out there when I'm comfortable just to fight. I like fights every so often, but not when I'm taking things easy!

Remilia? She shouldn't bother you if you don't bother her. She's a vampire, but she's used to having servants do things for her.

[thebeastwithout]

Yeah, it's such a pain when I'm sleeping or playing games or something. [also known as 90% of his life] But if superheroes don't do something about it, who will?

And I kinda meant a demon lord from my place.

[paradisemiko]

I'd try to let other people do it, but somehow, everything manages to become my problem. At least I get the job done when I have to do it.

Oh, an entirely separate demon lord. If I had my powers, I could probably beat him; youkai and evil beings are especially vulnerable to divine power.

[thebeastwithout]

Maybe 'cause you've beat up everyone else so many times, they just figure to let the strongest person take care of it.

[Surprisingly accurate observation.]

I don't know much about it 'cept that it happens in the future. I figure I'll start worrying when it's breathing down my face.

[paradisemiko]

(Very surprising. And accurate.)

That and it's usually either me or Marisa, but we're not sure which of us is stronger...

Ah, if it's in the future, then that means there's plenty of time to do things other than worry about it...like not worry about it.

[thebeastwithout]

That's pretty much my philosophy. Besides, I know I'm gonna win, anyway, so why spend my time thinking about it?

...So you and Marisa are really the strongest? She didn't seem that powerful when we talked... kinda like Jinx if she spent less time doing backflips.

[paradisemiko]

Exactly! I thought I was the only one who thought that way!

...next time you meet her, ask her to show you one of her lasers; then you'll see how powerful she is. Consider yourself lucky if she ever shows you Master Spark.