mayfield_rpg

Entry tags:

shirk

[voice]
Whoa. Hold on. Time out, dudes. So school was pretty OK at first, and I guess there was a buncha stuff that was good to know. I had no idea Napoleon crossed the Saraha on an elephant; I thought he was just the guy who invented that triple ice cream flavor. And the difference between geometry and geography is pretty obvious now, looking back. But this is just gettin' lame! Why the heck is there homework every day? Who invented midterms? And how do any of you guys have time for video games after going through all of this junk?!

You're all with me on this, right? I did fine teaching myself before; is there like someone I can talk to to get outta class? I'm pretty much set for life schoolwise already. I before t except after g, triangles have 360 angles, blahblah, see?

[action, high school]
[Beast Boy is so over this school thing. The next day, instead of a skinny green boy sitting in his desk, there is a small, green cat curled up on top, taking a nap. This persists in every class apart from lunch and gym.]

[action, makeout point]
[Sometime after Valentine's Day, Beast Boy flutters up to the top of the mountain and transforms back into his usual self, sitting with his legs dangling off the side of the cliff. There is a dreamy expression in his eyes and he sighs deeply as he flops backwards. ...He changes his mind half a second later and sits back up, leaning over to scream down into the town far below.]

I've got a girlfrieeeeeend!!!!

[Oh, yeah. Felt good.]

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[...The bird nods.]

[OK. Easy steps then. She carefully approaches the sill of the window and tries hard not to look down, because being even one floor up from the ground is scary. Reaching forward, she wraps her arms around BB's feathery neck for support before she shifts one leg on, and then the other.]

[...OK Beast Boy flaps hard and sweatdrops a little as she gets on this probably wasn't gonna work new plan gotta look cool in front of the girl.

And then Beast Boy was Nall's dragon form.

Way better. He circles around for a few moments before depositing the both of them on the roof.]

[OK, the sudden shift from bird to flying cat took her by surprise. She does shriek when BB starts flying and holds on even harder. Is she grateful that it's a short ride, because the stone roof feels a lot better than the air.]

T-Thanks. I think this is a good place to talk.

So? What'd ya need to talk about?

[Beast Boy looks pretty pleased with himself.]

[OK. Hard talk time. She takes a deep breath to steady her nerves, before she starts.]

So, about Valentine's Day...did you mean it back then? About liking me?

[Beast Boy looks pretty surprised.]

'Course I did! I've always --

[Oh. Right. She didn't remember what she had said to him that day, the confession of who she really was. Maybe...]

Yeah. I do. ...We probably should talk about that. But, um. ...Did you mean it?

I do!

[Whoops, that came out louder and faster than she intended. She blushes slightly as she continues:]

I mean, I got exposed to the flowers, but I really like you Beast Boy. That's not a lie. I think the flowers just made me more open about it. It's just...I know that there were flowers that made people like each other that day, so you could've been...

[She trails off.]

C'mon, Tara. I didn't write that song in a day. It's... It's always been you.

[Beast Boy tries to smile reassuringly and only manages to look slightly worried instead.]

Always?

...You told me something when you were being operated on, Tara. Do you remember?

I said a lot of things, and I'm sorry for them. I didn't mean them Beast Boy, I swear it. You've been nothing but a great guy to me, and if I could I'd take them back.

No! No, I know. I know you didn't mean it. What I mean...

Tara, you said something important. Something you could only have said to me if...

[Beast Boy pauses for a moment.]

You said, 'I don't have any friends, remember?' Just like that.

Y-yeah, I did. The doctor made me think that everyone who I thought were my friends actually didn't like me; that they just became my friend to betray me to the town. That's why I said it.

No! You said, 'remember'! ...Maybe you didn't understand why, but you said 'remember'.

Because...

Because it was me.

I told you that. I was the one who said that.

I don't understand. What are you talking about Beast Boy?

I told you you didn't have any friends. When you betrayed us to Slade.

Tara! ...You said you regained a weird mirror, didn't you? I didn't think anything of it because... I kinda stopped thinking about all of this stuff.

But it was shaped like a heart, wasn't it?

[OK, she's looking increasingly bewildered, confused and, for some reason, afraid.]

Y-yeah, it was shaped like a heart, but why does it matter? Beast Boy, why are you saying these things? I would never betray you, or anyone to Slade! He's the worst criminal in Jump City!

Tara... You have to know by now.

Because you're Terra.

I was the one who gave that mirror to Terra the night she betrayed us. I was the one who told her she didn't have any friends. I fought her, I helped convince her to fight back against Slade, and now...

I'm finally with her again. And I... I'll never not want to be.

No! I'm not her! I'm not Terra Beastboy!

[But even as those words escape her, she's starting to feel sick. Those dreams she's been having in the past few nights that have had her waking up, screaming, not to mention the strange regains she's been getting, are starting to cast doubt on who she really is. Why else is everyone in Mayfield getting stuff back that they own, while she gets a mirror she can't remember, and rocks in the mail? The buried questions start floating back up to the surface, and she doesn't like them at all. She tries to implore Beast Boy though; if he can believe that she's not Terra, then she'll be happy with that.]

My name is Tara, and I go to school at Murakami High. I've got a Dad and a Mom Beast Boy! Terra isn't like me! You have to believe me!

...

Someone must have tried to make a new life for you. For your own good. It... It makes sense. I mean, that's how I would have wanted things for you, too, if you'd just been left back home.

But we're not home. I think it can be OK if you remember here.

Terra was a hero. I... You don't have to be afraid to be her.

[Her bottom lips tremble momentarily, before she balls her hands into fists and explodes:]

You don't understand! I don't WANT to be her! She did a lot of things that made people miserable. I know she tried to make things right, but you can't make things right just like that!!

I spent nearly half a semester without any friends simply because I look like her. Nobody wanted to sit next to me in class, at lunch, not even on the bus. Every time I stepped into a room the whole place would go silent and people would start to leave. Everybody thought I was her, even some of the teachers. Nobody cared that I had the medical documents and that my dad came to school to explain things to the headmaster. All everyone could see was Terra, not me.

Tara! You don't just look like her; you're her identical copy! Look, people suck! People suck, and I know. I spend all my time saving Jump City, I risk my life every day, and some people still won't give me the time of day because I'm a green elf-goblin. Cyborg's half-robot, Raven's the creepiest girl you'll ever meet, and Star's an alien that blew up half the city. We all know what people can be like.

I know it might be hard. I was there. I know more than anyone why people might not be your biggest fan. But if I can get over it, then everyone else will, too! Terra had a monument, and I wasn't the only one who left flowers.

You can't just close your eyes and refuse to see what's in front of you. You can't just... scream and hope it goes away. If you want to take the easy way, then... fine. You can do that. And you can just be Tara forever. But I promise, if you try... if you just think you can take it one day at a time...

It'll be OK. It will.

...is there really something wrong with being me? Being Tara?

[She sounds mad now...]

I like who I am. And I'm Tara. I'm not some copy, and I'm not her damn shadow.

[She doesn't like swearing, but right now she wants to make one point clear.]

Do you think being me is easy? You have no idea what it's like to be me so don't act like you do. Yeah, some people don't like you, but don't you dare lie to me and say that you don't have fans, or the other Titans, to support you. There are thousands of kids out there who think of you as their hero, who admire Raven for her smarts, Starfire for her beauty...don't you dare say that you have it worse than me! I had no one but my father for six months and he was the only one who believed me, who saw me as who I am, not who everyone says I should be.

[She's practically shaking at this moment.]

...it's never about me, is it? It's always about her. Terra.

[That name comes out with heaps of bitterness.]

Did you even like me in the first place? Or am I just some replacement for her?

I'm not Terra. And I don't want to be her. And I'm sick and tired of people treating me the way they do simply because I look like her.

[She turns away to hide the tears that are starting to form at her eyes. Always. ALWAYS. Whether it was people who hated her, or people who liked her, it was always because of her similarities to the fallen Titan. And there wasn't anything she can do to change that. She thought Beast Boy had fallen for her, not for the ghost of the girl who has haunted her recent dreams and who destroyed her reputation at school before she even set foot in Jump City.]

Aaaargh! Tara! It's not about a choice between you or her! Going back to yelling about the same things all the time doesn't make it any more true!

I don't care if you're Terra or Tara or if you wanna come up with some other name! It's not about what I want! It's never been about what I want. It would be awesome if Terra came back, but when we met here, I said I wouldn't bother you about it, and I didn't. The only time this ever came up was when you started getting into a shouting match because I said the wrong name by accident. It's hard for you, but maybe, it's a little bit hard for all of us, too! Being your friend is like walking on eggshells because you get so darn angry so easily.

And you know what? You're not like Terra. You're not like Terra at all. You're not adventurous, you're not way too energetic, you're not a showoff, and you're not reckless. And that's fine. I still like you. I still wanted you to save Raven and Starfire with me, and I still wanted to save you from the hospital.

You're my friend, Terra or Tara or whoever, but that's not what this is about! The point is, what's really true? If you don't want to be Terra, then fine. You don't have to be. But you still have to face it. You can't say 'I was never Terra', because it's obvious now that that's a lie! Shouting and screaming like this... It's just being childish. I'm sorry you had a bad time, and I'm sorry just thinking about it makes you so unhappy. But you can't live your whole life sticking your fingers in your ears.

After all this, if you think that looking exactly the same, getting her stuff back, saying things to me that only she could possibly know... if you think it's all some sort of weird coincidence?

You're just lying to yourself.

shirk

I have no idea. =P

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I don't really know how Nall looks like, apart from the cat-like form he has. Sorry!

Haha, no, it's just a dragon! But no worries.

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Sorry this took so long, I was really unsure how to tackle this tag.

No problems! I am pretty slow myself these days.

Thank you!

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