[IX] and in the dark, I can hear your heartbeat

[godcomplexed]

[Voice]

Well, that's nice. A nice gift. One of many from Mayfield, always look forward to one after a particularly horrible time.

And yes, I'm being sarcastic. Getting my head cut open and then being forced to kiss people, and all I get is the bloody Pandorica? Which is, because you're all curious, the greatest prison ever created that looks sort of like a rather large box and about a year ago I flew it into an exploding TARDIS to reboot the universe and save every living thing. Yes, you're welcome.

By the way, if I did kiss you a few weeks ago, you're very welcome for that too. But not quite as welcome as for saving the universe, which is, rather more impressive. But still, I've been complimented quite often on my kissing. Though, I really wasn't planning on kissing anyone at all so don't expect any repeats.

...And back to the Pandorica. Right. Well, if anyone wants a rather large and ugly stone box, I'll freely give you this one. Fits one person inside. Maybe two if you're small. Also, may or may not have restoring powers. Dunno anymore.

Still, if you can drag it off my lawn, it's yours. Use it for a cage for your more annoying friends or something, I don't care.

[Action at 1338 Benny Road.]

[It's easy, even at night, to notice the large, eight feet tall and eight feet wide, and slightly glowing cube sitting in the front yard.

As one passes by the house, it becomes obvious that one side of the box is opened, two doors sliding outwards to reveal a chair. And in the chair, bathed in a soft blue light that comes from inside the box, is the Doctor.

He's curled up in the chair, knees to his chest, and staring blankly up at the sky, lost in thought. It's odd to see him so quiet and so still, and the with the complete absence of any energy, he barely seems like the same man who made the earlier angry phone call.

Whatever he's thinking about, it certainly has a deep hold on his mind as he doesn't seem to even notice anyone approach.]

Comments

[godcomplexed]

[Karkat's voice snaps the Doctor back down to earth and into his body. Which is quite chilled by this point. He shivers.]

Well, it's March, isn't it? Not quite spring yet.

[crusthatecean]

I don't know what any of that means. We don't have 'March.' We definitely don't have periods where water freezes for perigees at a time, not even in the dark seasons.

But I wasn't actually saying that just for the purpose of polite conversation.

[godcomplexed]

Well, March is when all the snow melts and the summer birds come back and all the trees start to bloom so you get to spend it all a pathetic sneezing mess thanks to pollen.

And I was just saying that for educational purposes.

[crusthatecean]

Speak for yourself, my species is made of stronger stuff and not prone to being crippled by airborne plant spunk.

Is this your advertised cage? I was thinking of accepting your offer. I have a lot of annoying friends.

[godcomplexed]

I bet in a few months you'll be as miserable as the rest of us.

[He opens his arms as if to show off the inside.]

I don't think it's going anywhere.

[crusthatecean]

Impressive. What the fuck is it?

[godcomplexed]

A prison.

[crusthatecean]

Then why are you sitting in it?

[godcomplexed]

Because it's my prison and I'll do what I like with it.

And it's quiet.

[crusthatecean]

I never said you couldn't do what the fuck you want.

I'm just questioning your decision to sulk out in the cold inside your prison, it's different.

[godcomplexed]

...I'm not sulking. Just thinking.

And the cold helps. I like the cold.

[Shivers and pulls his knees a little tighter to his chest.]

[crusthatecean]

It must be physiological differences and not you being stubborn.

[Because he's freezing trying to be out at night like this; even at its coldest, this isn't how a night on Alternia would be.]

What are you not sulking about?

[godcomplexed]

Exactly, Time Lord's are highly cold resistant. Our brains actually function better under the coldest conditions.

[He surveys Karkat for a few moments; he doesn't mistrust him at all and knows that Karkat has been in the same position before. But admitting they're gone to Karkat means he needs to admit it to himself. When he finally speaks, his voice shakes]

Some of my friends are missing.

[crusthatecean]

[Karkat is quiet and his expression doesn't show visible change at that statement. But he sympathizes a lot; there's little that hurts more here than that feeling when someone is gone who shouldn't be and you don't know whether you can expect them to come back and what they'll remember if they do.

It makes the Doctor seem a lot less impressive and capable, though, getting sad and hiding like a wiggler in a cocoon over something so basic. The word he thinks is pathetic, but he doesn't mean it in that way. He pities him in that some fond way he does everyone he really cares about.]

Regains gone?

[godcomplexed]

[The Doctor inhales deeply as emotions rise inside him. He's surprised at it, he'd spent so much time trying to act like everything was fine by numbing himself. But now the empty feeling is replaced with uncontrollable grief. And anger and disappointment at himself.

He's just a miserable selfish old man]

Yeah.

[crusthatecean]

[He sits down on the base of the interior of the box, hunching a little in on himself to avoid the cold. He doesn't know what to say to fix it, but he wishes he does, and that has to count for something.]

One of mine just left, too. Regains and everything, so you know he's gone back just in time to be strangled to death on my dumbass account.

What are yours going back to?

[godcomplexed]

...Waking up to find out she's been held captive for months and he leads a war to save her. It amounts to nothing in the end and they have baby girl taken from them and raised as a living weapon.

[he recites it like a poem memorized from childhood. All of the mistakes he's made, all of the pain he's inflected on the two people he loves more than anything.]

[crusthatecean]

[He fidgets awkwardly, fighting his instinctual urge to say so what? He's not equipped to understand what losing your wiggler would be like for a human, and anyway, it doesn't matter what he thinks.]

This place is like a fucking revolving door, they'll be back eventually.

[godcomplexed]

[The Doctor sniffs and shifts in the chair. It's want he wants, of course, but he hates himself for wanting it. For wanting Amy and Rory to suffer in Mayfield to ease his loneliness.]

...I don't want them to come back. However miserable they are back home, it's worse here.

[crusthatecean]

[He doesn't believe that, but he knows how it feels to be torn between your selfish wants and what you want for someone else.]

I guess. They're lucky they have something better to go back to.

[godcomplexed]

...For awhile, yeah.

[Until he messes it up.]

[crusthatecean]

[God, is this really what he's like when he gets in these moods? Ugh.]

What, not planning to save the universe in the nick of time at that juncture?

[godcomplexed]

[A bitter chuckle.]

...I tried. But well, turns out when you save the universe, you make a few enemies. Makes people scared of you. Amy gets kidnapped to get at me. Because they think I'm some great warrior.

[He sighs and runs a hand down his face.]

Didn't really start off planning to save the universe. To have prisons built for me.

[crusthatecean]

That's a point in your favor. I've never known anyone who goes about anything with plans to save the universe who's turned out to be worth knowing.

But on the other hand, if Amy had died in the horrible end of the universe, she probably wouldn't have gotten kidnapped. It's hard to fight that logic.

[godcomplexed]

[A tired laugh escapes him. He suppose that's Karkat trying to cheer him up.]

Well, I was erased after the universe ended, but she managed to bring me back. Just wish I had known to let her live her life instead of dragging her and Rory along with me again.

[He bites his lip. The more he talks about them, the more the idea that they're really gone begins to sink in.]