Sprig 02: This is getting to be a habit...

[grumpiest_tree]

Part A | Phone | Thursday

[If you pick up the phone early enough, you might hear the strained sigh of the Planet X Monarch before he begins speaking.]

So tell me, do all Earth holidays require the death of plants to celebrate them?

I mean, I was willing to bite my da'st what is it called, oh right tongue when most of you were waving the dead flowers in each others faces, mostly because it seemed they were thankfully blooming everywhere and alive elsewhere, but then last night they just all wilt and die by some kind of strange order? It's enough to make this Monarch weep.

Now, I know this is mostly this "town's" doing, but the killing of flowers, essentially what a plant uses to reproduce, as a gesture of affection in the hopes of procreation? That is just horrible. I want you all to know I am disappointed.

Part B | Action | Inside 5721 Cunningham Lane | Early Friday Morning

[Groot has been trying hard to take things easily. He's still been learning about the town here and there, but some things are still puzzling. Like his Christmas gifts. One he recognized, even if it had some bitter memories tied to it, but the other... Well, it was merely like one of those before and after pictures during one of his recoveries after a Guardians mission. He had no idea what the point of it was.

Or at least he didn't until he was making some breakfast and cut himself. Annoyed about the pain, he tried to do the normal human thing and suck on the wound before getting a bandage. Except the wound was gone. He looked again. Yep, healed right up.]

...Well this is new. Still, I wonder how much of my regenerative ability I now have. Now what would be the best way to find out...

[Groot glances around, contemplating this, and then his eyes land upon the cutlery drawer...]

Part C | Phone | Shortly After Part B

D'ast it all, how do you humans stand having so many pain receptors?!?

I merely chop off one of these finger things and I felt I was going to faint from the pain!

Oh, and now I'm leaking sap, no, I mean blood, everywhere. I swear, being a mammal is just one annoyance after another!

Part D | Grocery Store | Later That Day

[Despite his morning, Groot has a job to do. And if anything, he understands responsibility. Of course, that doesn't mean he has to be happy about it.

So anybody picking up groceries today, there's a surly looking guy at the cash register. Or stocking the shelves. And he has his hand and pinkie finger completely surrounded in bandages.]

Comments

C

[princeofjunes]

You chopped off a finger? Are you crazy?!

I can't believe- why would you-

...

Look, at least go bandage the damn thing before you use the phone!

C

[grumpiest_tree]

I'm not crazy, I am a scientist and royalty!

And I am bandaging it. This blood just moves much faster than sap...

[princeofjunes]

[There's the sound of him taking a few deep breaths to calm himself]

Okay, I've been here long enough to figure out how this works. You used to be a tree.

But shouldn't a scientist know better then to just cut off a limb?

[grumpiest_tree]

A small branch isn't too hard regrow, and as I seemed to have gotten back that ability to some extant, it felt like this was the quickest way to test the limits.

I was just not prepared for how much pain it would entail.

[princeofjunes]

[He lets out a sigh - this is one argument he can't win]

Alright, fair enough. Anything else you need to know about being human before you try any other experiments?

[grumpiest_tree]

[There's a pause of if Groot is considering what other things he could try before answering.]

No, not at the moment. But I will definitely look into it before I try anything else.

[princeofjunes]

Good.

... you'll be fine, right? Will your finger really grow back?

[grumpiest_tree]

Actually, I've splint the severed limb in place and it's healing back together rather alright.

It seemed to be quicker than waiting for a new finger grow back. And less blood loss. Especially since regrowing wooden limbs usually is easy when I absorb wood. I'm not too keen on finding out if that still holds true or that I have to absorb some mammalian analogue.

[princeofjunes]

Man... that sounds crazy, just growing back a new limb whenever you need to. I'm a little jealous.

Oh, right! I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Yosuke Hanamura! Sorry I was so rude for a minute.

[grumpiest_tree]

No, that is quite fine, you were merely concerned after all.

And I am the Divine Majesty King Groot the 23rd, Monarch of Planet X, Custodian of the Branch Worlds, Ruler of All I Shade.

......But Groot is fine. I have a feeling such titles are not really emphasized here.

[princeofjunes]

Well Groot, I have to say, for a king you seem pretty down to earth. Not many of the ones I've ever heard about would be so quick to admit that in a situation like this, their title doesn't hold a ton of weight.

[grumpiest_tree]

Ah, well maybe they did not have similar experiences as I did?

Before I found myself here, I was helping with what amounted to an cosmic trouble shooting police force.

Dealing with thousands of worlds, and even a few dimensions, worth of various societies tends to put into perspective how important one's kingdom is outside their own sphere of influence. Which unfortunately isn't usually much.

Plus, I cannot help but feel this town is essentially a prison, and in a prison there is little difference between a King and a Beggar.

[princeofjunes]

[Yosuke listens intently, finding himself quite impressed with King Groot despite their less than stellar introduction]

Maybe if the past kings of my world had that kind of insight, history would be a bit nicer. Then again, I don't think any of them had the chance to be on an intergalactic police force. I bet you saw some pretty crazy things while you were doing that, huh?

[grumpiest_tree]

Yes, it would be nice, but even interstellar Kings can lose sight of that. In fact, one of the strangest things I saw was due to the leaders of two large societies, the Kree and the Shi'ar, not listening to our warnings and continuing an intergalactic war. It culminated in a bomb that not only killed the then leader of the Kree, but literally ripped a tear through our own dimensional fabric and space.

The first creature that came out could only be best described as a giant pink space squid.

[princeofjunes]

[Sorry Groot, please excuse the stunned silence. Yosuke might have a spaceship above his house and may be dating a space captain, but something like that still takes a bit of time to digest and analyze. When he finally does manage words, his voice is somewhere between incredulous, curious, and horrified]

Was... was it at least a friendly giant pink space squid?

[grumpiest_tree]

Very far from it. It seems a lot a creatures that came from what we called The Fault merely want to over run our universe, pushing us out in the process.

I was able to help an Inhuman scientist by the name of Maximus the Mad create a device that reasserted our universe in the space it occupied and essentially destroy it, stopping it's attack on the space-faring Inhuman city Attilan.

[princeofjunes]

Shit... and here I thought saving the world was a big deal, then I find out you went and saved the universe. At least once.

I bet you've got a lot of crazy stories, Groot. Ever think of writing a book?