Karkat Vantas (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
crusthatecean) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
mayfield_rpg2012-01-29 12:53 am
crusthatecean) wrote in mayfield_rpg2012-01-29 12:53 am
Entry tags:
♋ 24
[Action; Hospital]
[Karkat wakes up sometime during the day on January 29th outside the hospital with a violent start that leaves him shaking. It's not unfamiliar to him to wake from a nightmare, but this is different. His last waking memories are unclear, but he remembers knowing he was going to die, losing so much of his sickening blood that it was all he could see, and then he remembers nothing, and nothing, and nothing for so long that if he starts to think about it he feels as though he'll lose his mind. He can't even close his eyes for a moment to gather his thoughts because the moment he does, the nothing is back, dark shapes swimming in it black on black but so clearly there, things he can't concentrate on because they're too terrible to acknowledge existence. This isn't unfamiliar either; it's the way he felt when his dreamself died, but so much more of it, and he's really gotten used to sleeping again.
The first thing he does is to try and vomit, because he feels sick and strange and his vascular sac hurts in his chest and he's freezing cold but he isn't shivering, but nothing comes up except the taste of blood and the feeling of it stuck to the back of his mouth and his throat. It's the same quality of the blood in the horrible gash around his middle; the wound is open but the blood is so thick and sluggish it's in no danger of bleeding again, and it draws his attention to his situation.
He's out in the open wearing clothes completely covered in still wet blood, with a large open wound making it clear whose it is, and while he isn't in danger of dying anymore, he doesn't want to be here. Still shuddering, he pulls himself to his feet and wraps his arms around his middle, completely failing to disguise the telling bright red covering most of him, and starts walking as quickly as he can for home, head and eyes facing the ground to avoid speaking to anyone if possible.]
[Action; 1338 Benny Road]
[And he will make it there eventually, but when he does, he'll have an awful surprise waiting for him in his respite block. His own bloodless body would normally be enough to upset him, but it won't even be a concern once he finds Gamzee dead there as well. He knows the idiot clown well enough to have a good idea what happened, what happened being that he completely failed to bother looking after himself or to get anyone to help him with what were obviously treatable injuries. While his grief is somewhat relieved by the fact that he knows the dead will probably come back, he's still completely furious. With himself for letting this happen at all, for being such a legendarily terrible moirail, and with everyone else for not bothering to take care of Gamzee in his absence.
Once he's taken a moment to come to terms with the situation, he'll immediately go looking for anyone else in the house to take that out on.]
[Phone; Public]
[He picks up the phone and speaks with uncharacteristically little preamble; he's too exhausted and sad to come up with reasons to be angry right now, and it's clear from his voice.]
I need everyone to check in with me now. Trolls and...the rest of you who are for some reason or other part of my life. Just do it. Are any of you still alive?
It turns out I've been gone nearly four days, so someone needs to get me up to speed. Please.
[Karkat wakes up sometime during the day on January 29th outside the hospital with a violent start that leaves him shaking. It's not unfamiliar to him to wake from a nightmare, but this is different. His last waking memories are unclear, but he remembers knowing he was going to die, losing so much of his sickening blood that it was all he could see, and then he remembers nothing, and nothing, and nothing for so long that if he starts to think about it he feels as though he'll lose his mind. He can't even close his eyes for a moment to gather his thoughts because the moment he does, the nothing is back, dark shapes swimming in it black on black but so clearly there, things he can't concentrate on because they're too terrible to acknowledge existence. This isn't unfamiliar either; it's the way he felt when his dreamself died, but so much more of it, and he's really gotten used to sleeping again.
The first thing he does is to try and vomit, because he feels sick and strange and his vascular sac hurts in his chest and he's freezing cold but he isn't shivering, but nothing comes up except the taste of blood and the feeling of it stuck to the back of his mouth and his throat. It's the same quality of the blood in the horrible gash around his middle; the wound is open but the blood is so thick and sluggish it's in no danger of bleeding again, and it draws his attention to his situation.
He's out in the open wearing clothes completely covered in still wet blood, with a large open wound making it clear whose it is, and while he isn't in danger of dying anymore, he doesn't want to be here. Still shuddering, he pulls himself to his feet and wraps his arms around his middle, completely failing to disguise the telling bright red covering most of him, and starts walking as quickly as he can for home, head and eyes facing the ground to avoid speaking to anyone if possible.]
[Action; 1338 Benny Road]
[And he will make it there eventually, but when he does, he'll have an awful surprise waiting for him in his respite block. His own bloodless body would normally be enough to upset him, but it won't even be a concern once he finds Gamzee dead there as well. He knows the idiot clown well enough to have a good idea what happened, what happened being that he completely failed to bother looking after himself or to get anyone to help him with what were obviously treatable injuries. While his grief is somewhat relieved by the fact that he knows the dead will probably come back, he's still completely furious. With himself for letting this happen at all, for being such a legendarily terrible moirail, and with everyone else for not bothering to take care of Gamzee in his absence.
Once he's taken a moment to come to terms with the situation, he'll immediately go looking for anyone else in the house to take that out on.]
[Phone; Public]
[He picks up the phone and speaks with uncharacteristically little preamble; he's too exhausted and sad to come up with reasons to be angry right now, and it's clear from his voice.]
I need everyone to check in with me now. Trolls and...the rest of you who are for some reason or other part of my life. Just do it. Are any of you still alive?
It turns out I've been gone nearly four days, so someone needs to get me up to speed. Please.
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Couldn't you have just fucking called them? Why wouldn't you...no one even checked on Gamzee. No one. I know he's my fucking responsibility but one of you fucking nook sniffing assholes could have come by and made sure he was okay, he can't even locate his asshole by himself.
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[Fuck. He felt bad enough, he didn't need Karkat making him feel worse.]
Is he not home or something?
[Sollux didn't particularly care for the clown troll but he was genuinely concerned.]
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[He's not angry at Sollux really, it's just between everything that's happened he's not in a good place emotionally at all.]
No, I don't know, it isn't your fucking fault, I just really need to know who's still okay.
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[There's a small trace of sarcasm in there.]
If you just stay holed up in your house and worry, you're going to fucking snap from stress KK.
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All things considered I think the good ship Snapped from Stress has sailed long ago, it's currently working on a record voyage across the galaxy so wish it the best of luck!
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[He sighs and rubs his temple, he was starting to get a headache.]
I'm pretty sure you're just as, actually more, exhausted then I am so just calm down because fighting, especially if we are the only ones alive, is a pretty damn stupid thing to do right now.
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I'm not even fucking fighting with you, Sollux, so shove it up your ass, I'm just in the middle of some things, but thanks to your advice I will now immediately be so fucking calm.
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I'm just, believe it or not, kind of upset. God. No one ever said you were in charge of making me feel better, nothing makes me feel better, it's just not going to happen right now so stop being so fucking sensitive.
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[Oh that's probably not something he should talk about.]
Whatever, you're right. I should stop. I'm fucking stupid.
[He sighs.]
This is fucking stupid.
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But that just isn't helpful when he knows Sollux is trying and it's not Sollux's fault that just isn't what they are to each other, that he'd almost rather be fighting about pointless things than this where every attempt at worrying about him just brings home his realization about how awful everything is. He bites his hand to choke himself off until he calms down enough to maybe talk without sounding like a cluckbeast with its head cut off, at least it would be nice in this current conversation to achieve that.]
Okay, shut up, stop it. This is fucking stupid but you aren't, just stop it.
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[But then again, he doesn't really want to stop talking to Karkat. Mostly because he feels like they're the only ones left and he doesn't want to lose any track of Karkat too.]
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[Man why was Sollux so socially awkward.]
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All I'm saying is stop trying to make me feel better, it's not really working and that's not your fault, it doesn't have to be a big Sollux self loathing production that I, independently of you, feel like shit.
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Alright, alright. I'll stop trying to make you feel better and I'll go back to being an egotistical douchebag.
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[But he actually does smile to himself a little.]
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