2nd Cameo: That Period when you grind before the big fight

[eternalcameo]

Phone

Alright, this is pretty much the part of the storyline when things are chill, but shit can go wrong at anytime. You don't need RPG experience to know that the best thing to do is group up with other people so you don't die in a horrible fire or some shit like that, so I'm doing all of you a favor and offering my services.

The name's Asagi, wandering protagonist and gunslinger extraordinaire. I've got looks, 1500 levels and enough bullets to tenderize the fuck out of whatever gets in the way. I don't have enough of my things to blow up the entire town, but believe me when I say I provide the best fucking support fire you're never seen before with my pistols alone.

Since Mayfield doesn't use a turn-based system, a traditional party should have a tank to absorb damage and hold threat, DPS attackers to dish out the damage without getting too much attention, and healers to make sure everyone stays alive and provides rezzes when necessary. I've calculated my stats and I can manage an easy 50K DPS without even trying, so keep that in mind when you're looking for someone to put a few holes in enemies before they put too many holes in you.

Comments

[party_hard]

So what happens if you use any special attacks or skills? Would that number get really, REALLY big?

[eternalcameo]

Damn right it will! Skills have better damage multipliers than basic attacks. Once I get some level 200 equipment, it'll fucking skyrocket.

[party_hard]

Oooh, skyrocketing sounds like it would be lots of fun! You'd go REEEEEEALLLY high and REEEEEEEEALLLY fast!

Somepony here was telling me about going into space--do you think you could skyrocket enough to get us into space?

[eternalcameo]

Somepony... (Oh, maybe she's a friend of Rarity's. Makes sense.)

You can't go into space just by boosting your DPS; that's just stupid...but I have a bitchin' spaceship that I haven't gotten back yet.

[party_hard]

A real spaceship? WOW!

[Pause.]

But WHY couldn't you go into space just by boosting your DPS? You could just shoot a lot into the ground and make a BIIIIIIIG explosion and shoot yourself up there, right? I bet that would work!

[eternalcameo]

...

(She kind of wants to say something in retaliation, but in a way, thanks to the sheer ridiculousness of Nippon Ichi, it makes sense. Somehow.)

Know what? I think you're on to something there. I need to try this...

[party_hard]

[Pinkie bounces up and down in excitement.]

You do! You really do! Come on, we can find a nice, big, clear open space for you to try it!

[Caution? Laws of physics? What are these?]

[eternalcameo]

(Physics doesn't apply back in Asagi's multiverse thingy, but whatever; she won't mind trying it out.)

Well, the park's big enough. We can try it there.

[party_hard]

Let's do it right now! Come on! Come on!

[There is excited Pinkie bouncing now.]

It'll be AMAZING!

[eternalcameo]

Alright alright, I'll head over to the park.

(Freakin' excited people on the phone. Once she hangs up, Asagi heads right on over to the park. Now that she recalls, she never even asked for a name...oops.)

[party_hard]

I'll be right there!

[Oh, look, Asagi, there's an excited-looking pink pony waiting around the park for something when you get there! Dare you approach?]

[eternalcameo]

...

(Holy shit, there's a pink pony over there. Maybe she was one of Rarity's friends or something? Definitely just as colorful, so whatevs; she'll approach. Too bad she didn't ask for a name...)

What's up? We spoke on the phone, right?

[party_hard]

[Pinkie recognizes the voice straight away, and she bounces up and down a little in confirmation.]

Yeah, we did! I'm Pinkie Pie! It's nice to see you in person!

[eternalcameo]

Mhm, the same.

(Very very bouncy, this one, but that's okay; she doesn't mind.)

So, uhh...I guess we should try this out, right?

[party_hard]

Yeah! Let's try it out right away! I want to see just how high you can go--it should be AMAZING! And fun! The fun's the most important part!

[eternalcameo]

Alright, but you might not want to get too close.

(And once Pinkie is a fair distance away, Asagi draws her two pistols and shoots down at the ground with inhuman speed. It doesn't do much except make holes in the dirt, so she tries a different approach. This time, Asagi leaps into the air and fires her barrage from there. It's not enough to propel her upwards, but the combined recoil at least keeps her in midair longer than she'd normally be. That counts, right?)

[party_hard]

Okay!

[Pinkie just stands back and watches.]

Wow! You're getting close! Just a few thousand more miles to go!

[eternalcameo]

(She lands on her feet.)

Fuck...I dunno if I can reach the sky like this. Even the special attacks in Disgaea had them hovering. This would be a lot easier if I had my special attacks again...

[party_hard]

Maybe you could do it if you had a trampoline! A trampoline is a really great substitute for a special attack in a pinch--you can use them to jump to higher levels and access secret things!

[eternalcameo]

(She smirks at that.)

That's some good platformer thinking right there. I haven't bothered with platformer shit since Prinny 2, so why not?

(Asagi shrugs.)

You got a trampoline on you?

[party_hard]

Just one moment! I've got one stashed around the park somewhere!

[And she actually does. Because it's been used before in the park in Mayfield. After a few moments, Pinkie will come back rolling a trampoline beside her.]

There! One trampoline, as requested!

[eternalcameo]

(Woah, that's pretty damn awesome. She nods in approval.)

Not bad, Pinkie. I like your style.

[party_hard]

Thanks! I like yours, too! You really know how the world works!

[Because knowledge of the fourth wall is knowledge of everything, yes...]