06 - Welcome Home, Honey

[spitefulvitae]

[919 Bilko, Morning - Limited to Housemates]

[Another beautiful Mayfield morning dawns, but all is not well in the Goodman household. That pleasant drone wife has been replaced with someone far stiffer, deader, and somewhat mildewed-smelling. That alone might be bad enough. But she had been quite silent while things were dark. Now that there's sun, there's screaming.

As soon as the first sufficiently brilliant rays of light come pouring into the room, Natalie bursts from her spot on the bed with an inhuman shriek. She tears the blankets off the bed and wraps them around herself, but it's not nearly enough protection against the light. She can't see, with all of the brightness and all of the fabric covering her... it's making her efforts to find some sort of cover far too slow. A hand has crept out from the covers, and it's fumbling at the doorknob for the closet... it's also sizzling.]

OhgodohgodthesunnotthesunohfatherpleasenonotthesunfatherhelpmenoNONONOnonono...

[Around Town, Evening]

[It's a warm late-summer evening. A perfect time for light blouses and short sleeves. To hell with that, tonight. Not after the kind of morning Natalie had been through. Every inch of her is covered by clothing. Long sleeves cover her arms. Gloves cover her fingers. Her usual scarf is wrapped very, very high along her face. And her hair is even pulled forward to obscure her face even further, with just a slit left to allow for vision.

Really, the malfunctioning drones are a mercy, tonight. She needs blood, and lots of it, if she's going to be presentable anytime soon. Were you being annoyed by a particularly persistent drone asking the time or wishing you a good evening?]

...oh. Here. Let me take care of that...

[And she'll just be grabbing them, exposing their neck, and sinking her fangs in. Masquerade, shmasquerade. What was there to cover up, here? She was doing everyone a favor, honestly.]

Comments

[cutesy]

Whoa! [ The first thing she knew she was watching her drone husband give her the same flowers over and over and over again and now her husband is getting sucked dry by a stranger. Juliet defensively grabs a rake. ]

Are you a zombie?! From another world?! [ it's her job to hunt zombies, and you're totally biting into someone's flesh so that means you might be a zombie! ]

[spitefulvitae]

[Juliet's the first person to go on the visible offense, and that's got Natalie worried. She can only manage to gulp back a few mouthfuls of blood before she shoves the drone husband away. (He seems generally befuddled but not too upset about whatever just happened.)]

A what? No! I'm a vampire! Brains aren't located in the neck, I'll have you know!

[cutesy]

[ Juliet looks at the drone husband, who is just complaining about the rudeness of some people. ]

Oh! You're a vampire?! That's so cool! I actually didn't know there were any of you around! Do you sparkle?! [ Juliet is appraising Natalie and her sparkle value, but she drops the rake. ]

[spitefulvitae]

[There's not a lot of sparkle-value on this vampire, sadly. Even her clothes are all matte colored and lacking in shiny.

She has to bring a hand over her mouth to stifle some laughter.]

No... no, I'm not the sparkling kind of vampire. And I wouldn't want to be. Bunch of pansies, those ones...

[cutesy]

[ It's okay. Juliet will glitterbomb her later! ]

But sparkling vampires look so cool. I mean, I understand they're sort of weak like the books they come from, but, I've been looking for a vampire that both sparkles and is really strong!

Can I put glitter on your face? It'd count! [ MOMENT OF TRUTH NATALIE. DO YOU WANT TO LOOK LIKE YOU WERE JUST DONE FILMING A 70s PRINCE MUSIC VIDEO?! ....What?! No? Where's your sense of adventure! ]

[spitefulvitae]

Take a real vampire, coat them in glitter, and then hope they'll give you a 10 second headstart. That's how I would do it...

[And she recoils, her tone immediately getting colder.]

No. Absolutely not.

[cutesy]

Well, I guess I can run fast enough. I mean, I was able to outpace lightning fast zombie attacks.

[ Juliet pouts at the sudden command! ]

Aw! But you'd look so good in multi-color glitter! Just imagine the possibilities!

[spitefulvitae]

Really. [Flat tone. Backing away, baking away...]

I am imagining the possibilities, and I do not like them. [Backing away FASTER... vampires with goth tendencies and glitter don't mix well.]

[cutesy]

Why not?! Glitter is so good for the soul and it'll distract people long enough to get their blood! [ The drone continues to bleed out as Juliet obliviously steps on its soon to be corpse. She steps forward to pursue Natalie. How the craziness is on the other foot!! ]

[spitefulvitae]

[She looks between Juliet and the slowly dying drone husband, slightly regretful. So much wasted food, just lying there on the sidewalk...]

Because it's stupid. This didn't even exist as a thing until some idiot Mormon lady decided to write a book on a subject she knew fuck-all about!