[6] - So a dude walks into a dairy...

[fthisgetmecigs]

[ Action | Grocery Store | All ]

[As always, Badou Nails is your ever faithful, cigarette smoking, grocery slave neighborhood grocer. Do you need help carrying shit to your car? Can't reach the items on the shelf? He's the man for you. Also possibly because you had no other choice.]


[ Action | 312 Miller St. | Housemates ]

[After that phonecall between the powers that be here, Badou is calling a not!family meeting. Except for drone wifey who he's locked in the bedroom. He only wants you not!kids to be safe.]


[ Phone | Not filtered because Badou has no friggin' clue]

So anyone else hear that freaky as all hell phone call?

Man, it's like those fuckin' late night horror movies y'watch when yer drunk on the couch. It's always fuckin' revenge of the shit or robot overlords from space.

[There's a pause and possibly a sigh.]

Just dunno what's gonna go down when it hits the fuckin' fan.

Comments

house meeting!

[crosseyed]

A family meeting?

Why do we need that? Is something happening?

[fthisgetmecigs]

Well...Somethin' might be going down tomorrow at the Dairy.

[He frowns, the memory of Thanksgiving still pretty fresh in his mind.]

I don't want you or Dia near there tomorrow. I dunno if it's gonna be good or bad, but shit's gonna probably hit the fan either way.

[crosseyed]

What is going on at the Dairy? [[so out of the loop, she is.]]

Something bad? I will not go, but I do want to know what is happening tomorrow!

[fthisgetmecigs]

Yeah. It was on t'phones earlier.

And knowin' this fuckin' place, it'll probably be something bad. I'll find out what happens and I'll let you know, okay? [Leaves out the part where it'll probably be a first-hand account.] Just don't go there, kid.

[crosseyed]

You will not go there either, will you?

[fthisgetmecigs]

Depends on how crazy it gets. But I got a weapon. Which is completely different shitskis from you.

[phone]

[hasitmemorized]

Yeah. Freaky doesn't even begin to describe that phone call.

[So maybe Roxas hasn't been trusting anything involving the mayor ever since the cannibals incident.]

[fthisgetmecigs]

I know, right?

And 'course shit's probably gonna go down.

[There's a sigh.]

Man, this fuckin' town never lets up.

[hasitmemorized]

If it's not one thing it's another...

What do you think they're up to this time?

[fthisgetmecigs]

Dunno exactly, but I'm thinkin' this'll all end in fuckin' tears. Or droning shit.

[phone]

[noluckduck]

This town is a goddamn horror movie, look at the fuckin' news. How long have ya been here?

[fthisgetmecigs]

[No shitskis, kid. This place is messed up.]

Long enough ta be snacktime for cannibals an' shit and that fucked up disappearin' shit.

Jus' sounds like it's gettin' worse. S'all.

[noluckduck]

Eh, I wouldn't say that. Looks more like it's just consistently fuckin' terrible.

Grocery

[fineinthefire]

[Yeah, he's not even looking when he goes up to the counter, just staring at this stupid list his drone wife gave him.]

Hey, do you have any juice that isn't apple?

[fthisgetmecigs]

[Badou has got this stuff down rote. You'd be surprised at how many people can't deal with apple juice in this town. So he's just gonna list off things while puffing his cigarette and looking vaguely bored.]

Pineapple juice, orange juice and some shit that's 'supposed ta be fruit punch. The real question is d'ya fuckin' know what brand y'need?

[fineinthefire]

[He raises an eyebrow, smirking.]

I'm surprised you haven't got canned, using that kind of language at work.

[He shakes his head.]

Brand isn't really that important. The...wife justs needs non-apple juice.

Oh hi DW thanks for no notifs. OTL

[fthisgetmecigs]

[Just makes a snorting noise.]

Who's gonna stop me? M'boss is a drone. T'most I get is a shush or some shit.

[He points in a general direction.]

Down aisle one are t'juices. Just avoid the ones marked apple and you'll be good.

I've noticed it has a nasty habit of doing that...

[fineinthefire]

Oh, they're not terribly offended by your crude and offhanded behavior? What a shock!

[Yeah, has he mentioned that he's fond of sarcasm?]

Thanks.

[He'll just go and grab one of the juices and bring it back up to the front.]

[fthisgetmecigs]

Heh. [Takes a long drag on his cigarette.] Y'can call me employee of the month.

[Sarcasm. It's like you're speaking his native language.]

No prob, man. [Sort of chills out by the counter as Axel gets his juices and proceeds to check him out. Not like there's anything to do at the moment.]

So y'new here? [It's been a slow day and normal conversation is what'll keep him from sticking his head in the freezer for shits and giggles.]

[fineinthefire]

Oh how wonderful for you. I bet you have one of those nice shiny name plates and everything, don'tcha?

[He leans against the counter and shrugs a little.]

Yeah and no. I'm newer than a lot of people here, but I've been here for a couple months. I have a general feel of how this place works now.

[fthisgetmecigs]

'Course I do. Keep it right next to all the fucks I'd give if I cared.

[Takes a drag of his cig, offering one to Axel.]

Y'mean the whole "We're gonna fuck ya over 'cause we can!" vibe?

[fineinthefire]

Ah! What a great place to keep it!

[He eyes it before shaking his head. He probably better not pick up another bad habit while he was here. He already had a penchant for alcohol.]

Yeah, basically. Starting to get a hang of how to survive it all too. This place is nuts.

[fthisgetmecigs]

Polish it everyday an' shit too.

[And the cigarette goes back into his presumably massive stash under the counter.]

No kiddin'. It's like some god took a massive dump somewhere and all the shit's right here.

Phone

[kinship]

I heard, but... I don't think it's wise anyone gets involved, it seems like a trap to me.

[fthisgetmecigs]

[Oh hey little dude, long time no talk!]

Knowin' these fuckers, probably is. [Isn't going to stop him from taking a looksie though.]

[kinship]

[They should meet more often!]

Then I have to question the wisdom of everyone planning to go over there.

[fthisgetmecigs]

It ain't gonna be pretty.

[kinship]

I think that's an understatement, Mr. Nails.

[Grocery Store]

[dicekind]

Maaaaaaaan, I swear the grossery gets worse ever time I come here! First the smells, now a stalker!

[fthisgetmecigs]

[...What the fuck, kid? Oh this is going to be a good one, Badou can tell as he sits behind the counter. He takes a long drag of his cigarette.]

If y'don't like goin' in here, why are ya even at the grocery store? And I work here kid and why the hell would I stalk a kid? Shit, you look like you're twelve.

And halloween was months ago.

[Because talking critters, girls with dogears and shit? That stuff is legit. This? Come on.]

[dicekind]

It's typical human behavior to go to the Grossery! And if you're not stalking me, why are you here? Let me take my things in peace, goooooooooog.

[fthisgetmecigs]

[Yeah this kid...]

It's 'grocery', kid. And what part of I work here don't ya get? Jesus, if yer gonna complain yer ass off about shit you're imagining, at least do it in the corner or somethin' so I don't gotta hear you.