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[werejew]

Hello, Mayfield girls ages 11 to 13, have I got the deal of the fucking century for you!

So, basically, I have this adorable little friend who I won't name but his name's Luke, and during that time with the weird fucking flowers, I was a total bitch and rejected his love because he is A. super tiny and B. a boy. But I still felt totally bad about it. SO, to make up for breaking his little baby heart, I've decided to do the right thing and find him a cute little girl to fill the void I left in his soul. It's gonna be hard, but I'm just so nice I don't even care.

To qualify, you must be in that age range, a girl, be adorable, and like puzzles and riddles and other nerdy shit like that. Having a bangin' ass would be a plus. Reply now because he is going fast!

Comments

[werejew]

Saving your first kiss for marriage, then? How fucking sweet.

[jaws5sonofjaws]

I've kissed a girl before!

... it's just afterwards I had fish guts dumped on me...

[werejew]

That's a sign from God if I've ever seen one, bro.

[jaws5sonofjaws]

No.

They dumped it on me as a prank.

[werejew]

Sign from God.

[jaws5sonofjaws]

SHUTUP!

[His voice cracks, you can probably tell he's about to cry.]

Just shutup okay!? Just because those girls did mean shit to me doens't mean I hopless!

[werejew]

Actually, it kinda does. They wouldn't have done it for no reason!

[jaws5sonofjaws]

[He's totally tearing up right now.]

Someone out there'll love me!

Just you wait and see!

[werejew]

... Dude.

Are you fucking crying?

[jaws5sonofjaws]

[through the sobs of totally crying.]

NO!

[werejew]

Dude, you're totally fucking crying! [LAUGHING]

[jaws5sonofjaws]

Just...

Just leave me alone!