mayfield_rpg | 10th Guitar Drive-By

Entry tags:

c: haruko haruhara

10th Guitar Drive-By - Phone

[Phone]

Alright, alright, so it's come to my attention there's probably a bunch of you all with your panties in a bunch over Valentine's Day. Lucky for you, you all have a wonderful, beautiful altruist like me to help you. Yep. That's right. I, Haruko Haruhara, Love Doctor, Md., certified in 37 state, 20 countries, and 5 of 7 continents, not to mention intergalactic qualifications, am here to give you all the advice and wisdom on matters of lovelorn or confused hearts you could ever ask for.

So c'mon. You all need someone to talk to before you stupidly ruin every relationship you have, and I'm here to help you. I promise a policy of complete non-disclosure unless I find it just that damn funny so you can trust all your tepid and horrible gossip with me.

So hey! Let's get crackin'! You've got hearts that're cracked and I've got the clue in my whimsy and insight and all that corny asshole shit, so get talking you mooks!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Haruko, I'm pretty sure you can't be qualified "love doctor" because there's no such thing.

I'm pretty sure you're wrong, or are all these degrees I have in front of me lies?

[Those degrees?

She's writing them up at the moment as you speak, Nina.]

... They're definitely lies.

Edited 2012-02-18 05:29 (UTC)

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Go to hell.

Sure.

Just let me get a nice firm grip around your legs, buddy. We can fall in together.

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[Well there goes a good minute of his life.]

That doesn't sound legitimate in the slightest.

I'm as legitimate as anyone in this town, mister. You want to cast aspersions on my profession, I'll take you to court.

The Night Court.

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'N I'm a monkey's uncle, love.

Well I guess you are, huh?

Must be a shock for you. It's alright. We can talk about that too.

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I don't think anyone can really help me at this point.

Don't know til you try.

C'mon, little lady. Spill it.

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[Mart sighs]

Sometimes I think you're the only person I can talk to about this shit.

...Okay that's way more serious than I was expecting.

Spill it fishboy what's got you down?

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[ He should have just hung up the moment she started talking but he supposed he had been vaguely curious as to how it would end and that kept him on the line. ...Maybe he should just hang up now. ]