xi.

[stabdads]

[Somebody sent him flowers? Oh goodness me! Slick is just a-giddy with excitement. Skipping merrily to the flower vase, he daintily picks up a carnation and sniffs in its lovely fragraokay who am I kidding Slick immediately sets the flowers on fire.

Unfortunately for him, he may have caught a little whiff of the smoke from the vase before dumping the ashes outside...]

[action, Febuary 14th]

[IF YOU ARE ABOVE THE AGE OF 13, Slick will approach you brusquely, without any sort of provocation whatsoever, and will shove a small, carefully wrapped box in your hands without so much as a greeting.]

This is for you.

[Meanwhile, if you're under the age of 13, Slick will instead hand you a black suit, a fedora, and a suspiciously-wrapped L-shaped package.]

We don't have much time so I'll keep this short. I'm your new dad, call me Papa Slick, and you're part of my Crew now. We've got a heist planned for noon, here's your suit and your hat and your gun. Meet me in the car when you're dressed. Oh yeah, bring an apron, I'm gonna teach you the best places to stab a guy.

[Well this isn't terrifying at all.]

Comments

[stabdads]

This is insubordination. I should have your head for this. When I say jump, you jump, and when I say make out with me, you make out with me. This isn't hard.

[cuestickgenius]

First, this is unprofessional. Second, if it were, I'd be professionally advising you not to do it. Third, no. I haven't had time to find a cuestick, but I know where I can get one in a hurry, Slick.

[stabdads]

You're bullshitting me, quit it. I know you got the hots for me Droog, you always have. I seen the way you look at me sometimes.

[cuestickgenius]

Is it like this? [Here's his best "Really? Stab them in the face? That was the best plan you could come up with?" look]

[stabdads]

You fuckin' tease.

[LEANING IN FOR A KISS]

[cuestickgenius]

Oh god damnit, Slick...

[He leans back and really hopes his height advantage keeps Slick's lips away from his without having to actively shove the man off him]

[stabdads]

[Slick scowls. GOD DAMN IT WHY IS HE SO SHORT.] Fine. I'll give ya some time to think it over. But when I get back, we're smoochin', or you're out of a job, you got it?

[cuestickgenius]

[He's pretty sure that violates some kind of labor law, but he's a mobster, not a dignitary anymore, so it's probably not gonna fly]

Get your head on straight before then.